Hello? Anyone there?

Like Lazarus rising from the dead (although granted, in this case, the resurrection has taken a lot longer than four days), I’m finally (finally!) back on the laptop and twitching the florals. Woot! It’s been pretty damn frustrating not being able to blog and ramble as normal but I suspect it’s been far more so for those of you who’ve continued to visit Chintz over the past two-and-a-half months in the hope of finding a new post. So inappropriate hugs and kisses to everyone who’s stuck with me and offered their support as I’ve moved from one side of the world to the other; it’s been a long slog but at long last I have a reliable Internet connection and an actual house to live in. Largess.

I’ve decided to kick off my new (albeit slightly delayed) blogging year with an Alert Me. Given that I’ve been offline so much recently, it feels like there are about a billion news stories and articles that have passed me by, so in a lot of ways this round-up is as much for me as it is for you. Enjoy.

 

In Which I Explain Why I Turned Down a Three-book New York Print Deal to Self-publish
Source: Brenna Aubrey (via One Handed Writers)

This piece by Brenna Aubrey makes for fascinating reading. If you’re a self-published or aspiring author, then I strongly encourage you to swing by her Website and cast a beady eye over it. Not least because it gives an excellent breakdown of some key contractual clauses that writers will come across when presented with book deals drawn up by traditional publishers. Pay careful attention, people, to the Non Compete clause. This is a bloody important bit of legal jargon. And can I add that any new author who has the guts and strength of character to turn down a six-figure deal in order to stay true to her own personal writing goals and aspirations has my undying admiration. On the strength of this post of Brenna’s, I’ve now downloaded the book in question, At Any Price (Gaming The System). I’ll let you know how I get on with it; stick figures may be on the horizon.

 

SexBytes
Source: SexBytes

If you’ve not yet subscribed to SexBytes, you really do need to sign yourself up. Attached to e[Lust], this handy little site pulls together all sorts of sex-related posts and articles and files them in once place so that they’re easy for you to find and peruse. These past few weeks, there have been some truly excellent entries, including Skye Warren’s article, Why Can’t an Author Make a Living Wage?, Why I Post Nude Photos (and Why I Blog About Sex) (an exceptionally thoughtful and eloquent piece on sex blogging, by Penny’s Dirty Thoughts), and Ready, Normal People? (an on-the-money article examining the U.K.’s current Internet censorship crisis courtesy of Sephy Hallow).

 

‘Normal Sex’ Is Becoming More Popular Among Women: Fifty Shades Of Regular?
Source: Medical Daily 

I’ve included this article because it ruffled my feathers to such an extent that small tendrils of steam came out of my ears. I was willing to forgive the use of the term ‘normal sex’ in the title (what the hell is ‘normal sex’, anyway?) because it was enclosed in quotation marks and thus had some self-awareness. But then I came upon this delightful paragraph:

 

‘Two summers ago, women were glued to Fifty Shades of Grey, and the novel had women asking their partners to explore unchartered sexual fantasies. Many claimed that the racy BDSM novels helped them to explore their sexuality and be more open with what they desired from their partners. Others just called it “mommy porn.” There was also a speculation that the racy novels would cause a baby boom, according to Digital Spy. However, according to a recent survey, many women are more inclined to revert back to “vanilla sex,” or, in other words, they are ready to hang up their whips and put away their handcuffs; women are craving intimacy.’

 

It’s that last phrase that really bothered (and continues to bother) me. What, there’s no intimacy in BDSM? Let me tell you, when you truly submit to someone, when the very core of you is laid out and vulnerable, when you’ve had all your secrets, wants, needs and desires pulled out of your head and held in the palm of someone else’s hand, there’s a level of closeness that I cannot begin to articulate. I am not for one minute saying that there is anything wrong with ‘vanilla’ sex – or that it is less intimate than BDSM sex (albeit in a very different way) but I am saying that words like ‘normal’, ‘intimacy’, ‘security’ and ‘love’ are as applicable to those who engage in ‘kinky’ sex as those who don’t.

Happy belated New Year, everyone.

Related posts: