Elust 80 Penny's Dirty Thoughts
Photo courtesy of Penny’s Dirty Thoughts

Welcome to Elust #80

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #81 Start with the rules, come back April 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!


~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

Something Meaningful
The debate goes on

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

No Take Backsies: Sexual “Politeness”
THE Process

~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*

He’s not a Tumblr Dom
Continue reading


Screen Shot 2016-03-10 at 11.56.46

A couple lying naked on a bed, masturbating one another, their movements slow and unhurried. His thumb dipping rhythmically into her cunt, massaging her clit; her fist curling around his increasingly swollen cock, the tip kissing her breast like a lover.

The vague sound of wetness. Heavy, laboured breathing. Half-closed eyes, bitten lips. Brows furrowed in pleasurable strain.

The fingers of his free hand pressing into her mouth, bridling her head.

Her hand stroking him quicker, ever quicker. His own between her legs becoming increasingly jerky. Less co-ordinated.

Him coming, thick droplets of semen pulsing from the head of his penis, her lips hovering like butterfly wings, rubbing gently, ever-so-gently, against the pearls of white before they spill down over her fingers.

– opening scene, Love (2015), Gaspar Noé


I’m not a porn watcher. Not because I have anything against porn itself but because it just doesn’t turn me on – at least I haven’t yet found any that gives me more than a vague tingle. On pretty much every occasion I’ve viewed it, either in film or photographic form, I’ve quickly become bored and disinterested even when, theoretically, the subject matter should appeal to my penchants and kinks.


I can’t say with 100% certainty but the conclusion I’ve come to is that for something to push my buttons, I need to be able to overlay the sex or sexual act I’m seeing with with my own thoughts, fantasies and emotions – at least to some degree. To move them around and play with them until they ‘fit’ my sexual imagination. Images and films that are overt, explicit, protracted and/or play to a script simply don’t allow me to do that.

They give away too much.

Erotica, on the other hand? That tends to leave a lot more room for interpretation and works far (far) better for me as a stimulation tool. A still photograph like this or this or this that cracks the sexual door but doesn’t open it the whole way? Provides a starting point? A piece of writing such as this by Melina Greenport, which requires me to do a bit of work and put the scene together in my head? To colour it in?

Whole other story.

And watching real people play in a club? Hot.

So it’s not that I don’t enjoy the visual of sex. I do. It’s just that the framing is very important to my response. I need there to be some unknowns. I also need there to be a deeper underlying psychological component. Not love, necessarily, but a believable and tangible emotional dynamic. Interestingly, M is remarkably similar. In fact, the times we’ve tried to watch porn together, we’ve given up pretty quickly because we’ve found each other far more exciting than what’s been going on onscreen. I wasn’t, therefore, expecting our respective reactions – mutual ‘I really want to fuck you now’ arousal – to the opening scene (as described above) of Gaspar Noé’s new film Love, which premiered last year at Cannes and popped up about a month ago on Netflix.

Thanks to all the media mutterings that bubbled up when Noé confirmed he’d had shot (in parts) real rather than simulated sex scenes, I had heard a bit about the film but, really, I didn’t know where it would fall in terms of genre placement or exactly what the content would be like. Even the various mainstream film writers seemed to be divided in their reviews and categorisation of it – read the BBC’s and Love is a ‘porn film’, read The Guardian’s and it’s a ‘sexual melodrama’.

Despite some obvious porn tropes (naked people, erect cock, a cum shot conclusion, etc.) what I saw in that opening sequence felt to me, on some level at least, like erotica. And my response was in that vein. For once, I felt like I was watching actor-sex that was genuine and emotional and intimate: No talking. Both naked bodies, male and female, in full view. The sole focus getting each other off – not the viewer – although that was, in our case, what happened.

The scene felt real*.

*I think it’s worth pointing out here that Noé apparently didn’t give directions to the actors during sex scenes – he just put them in position and let things unfold.

When M and I began to talk about what we’d liked so much about the scene our explanations were pretty much the exact inverse of one another: M liked watching Electra’s face and Murphy’s hand playing between her legs; I liked watching Murphy’s face and Electra’s hand around his cock. Both of us agreed that, despite being it being acted, the encounter between them somehow felt very close to real life in a way that porn generally doesn’t. And, despite the (obvious) male orgasm that concludes it, the sequence managed to leave us wanting in the very best of ways thanks to Electra’s mere touching of her lips to Murphy’s penis as he comes. The result being a powerful ‘not quite finished’ dynamic.

I really (really) wanted her to lick him – and so did M.

Sadly, and despite its promising beginning, Love quickly went downhill for me from about a quarter of the way in. While I enjoyed watching some of sex scenes for much the same reasons I’ve outlined above – like the one where Murphy and Electra fuck on a rumpled bed and he lifts her ever-so-slowly up and down on his cock – the plot was just way too angsty for my taste and, in the end, I felt that all the endless, boringly over-the-top melodrama overrode my enjoyment of the various sexual encounters. I will, however, say that it was incredibly refreshing to see a film in which its ‘contains sexual content‘ didn’t hang on a woman’s boobs and arse; Noé gives the penis some serious screen time, including a (literally) in-your-face close-up of Murphy masturbating and ejaculating towards the camera. Warning: don’t be holding a hot drink in your hand when this happens as you’re entirely likely, as I did, to jerk backwards when he lets go – especially if you’re watching in 3D.

So is Love porn or erotica? I’m not sure it’s either. What I do know as that I haven’t seen actors having on-screen sex in quite this way before and something about that first scene really rang my sexual bell. And it seems I’m not alone …

Screen Shot 2016-03-10 at 11.43.52

– screenshot from Isabella Burley’s interview with Gaspar Noe for Dazed

Have you seen Love and, if so, what did you think of it? Do you consider it to be porn, erotica, or simply a film with some fucking in it? Did you find the sex as believable and real as I did?

Oh and, um, lastly, if there is porn out there that closely resembles that opening sequence, please do point me towards it …

Top 100 Sex Bloggers 2015

For seven years, the lovely Sweet Rori of Between My Sheets has published a wonderful round-up of her top 100 sex bloggers. A massive undertaking, the list was something she compiled, quite selflessly, for the benefit of the wider sex blogging community and it’s proved to be an amazing way of acknowledging and drawing attention to some of the best sex writing voices out there – both old and new.

Sadly, due to ill health, Rori had to stop blogging at the beginning of this year and, as such, the list she’d begun to put together towards the end of 2015 remained unpublished.

Enter the amazing Molly Moore, who, upon hearing of Rori’s retirement, kindly volunteered to take over the compilation of the Top 100 in her absence. No small task!

There are some truly outstanding inclusions in this year’s top 100 and I’m so, so happy and pleased to see some of my own blogging favourites have made the top ten: a big and heartfelt hug to you all. Well written, well deserved.

To everyone in the 2015 100: Congratulations! Oh, and, um, can I say that I’m totally flattered to see Chintz made the number 36 spot? 🙂


New Voice of the Year Award

This award goes to a blog that is new this year and therefore have not been around long enough to qualify for the Top Sex Bloggers list. After much sole searching I have decided that there are two winners of this award this year.

Melina Greenport: I discovered her blog through Wicked Wednesday and have fallen increasingly in love with her sexy, intelligent, beautiful writing. Seriously, if fabulous erotic fiction is your thing then this lady is going to rock your world.

Exposing 40: Exposing 40 has launched herself into the blogging world with style, grace and passion. Her site is a body positive adventure, centred around life in your 40’s. This blog is an unashamed look at, not only her body, but both male and female guests and challenges the traditional ideals of youth = beauty/sex and I am really looking forward to seeing where this project takes her in 2016.

And now with the previews done lets launch ourselves into the main event!

Top 100 Sex Bloggers 2015

1. A Dissolute Life Means

When I started this project I knew Hy was going to make the top 10 but once all the scoring was done she emerged a worthy winner of this years list. Her writing is fearless, bold, honest and raw. She never shies away from the realities of herself when it comes to her writing. She is funny, sexy, intelligent, thought-provoking, sometimes heart breaking, and often heart warming. She also runs the fabulous #Boobday meme ‘a place for us to honour breasts of all shapes and sizes belonging to all types of folks’. In my opinion she is a most worthy winner!

2. Love Hate Sex Cake

I have long been a dedicated reader of Cheeky Minx but 2015 has seen her completely blow me away. Her photography is second to none and when coupled with her deliciously sexy prose packs a lust filled punch that will leave you breathless and returning again and again for more.

3. Malin James

Malin’s blog is a delightful mix of quality sexy erotica and thoughtful intelligent opinion pieces. One moment she will be knocking your knickers off with her erotic fiction and the next she will have you pondering the vagaries of life. She is a skilled and passionate writer, insightful, self aware and utterly engaging, her blog is one of those places that you can happily lose hours of your life in.

4. Dangerous Lilly

Lilly is all the things you want in a sex toy reviewer; honest, smart, dedicated, and knowledgeable. Her no nonsense writing is engaging and informative and damn can she make me laugh. This woman really knows her stuff, and she is my go to site when when I want to get an opinion on a sex toy. She is one of those bloggers who comes across as being totally and utterly herself and her blog is possibly one the best designed and easiest to navigate on this whole list.

5. Switch Studies

I first discovered Ginger Nic’s blog through Elust but doing the research for this list caused me to delve a lot deeper into her site, what I found totally hooked me in. Her writing is intelligent, artistic, and covers a wide range of topics. It is a true glimpse into her life and thought processes that will make you want to read on. There really is something for everyone here, regardless of your persuasion

6. Holden and Camille

In my opening post about the list back in January I said if you knock my knickers off you are going to do well and these guys totally did that. In fact they didn’t just knock them off they tore them off and threw them across the room. Their photography is quite frankly smoking hot. From suggestively erotic to devilishly filthy these guys have it covered, or should that be uncovered? This blog is a fabulous journey through one couples sex lives in the bedroom, living room, dinning room, bathroom, staircase and beyond and whenever I visit there I always end up leaving with the urge to indulge in a damn good fuck.

7. Remittance Girl

If, like me, you like your erotica raw and gritty with not a happy ever after ending in sight then RG’s writing is the stuff for you. Combine that with strong, well reasoned opinion pieces and you have got yourself a winner. In my opinion RG is one of the best writers of short erotic literature of our time. She has the power to make you think about human desire and eroticism in a way that will at times leave you uncomfortable whilst also turning you on.

8. Stranded in Toronto

There is no one else quite like Stranded in the sex blogging community in my opinion. A fine writer, he has a talent for combining sci-fi and fantasy with humour and hot dirty sex that will have you returning again and again to his site. 2015 has been the year of self publishing for him but that has not slowed him down when it comes to his blog. He is prolific in his writing and there is always something new to enjoy on his site.

9. The Big Gay Review

This blog was completely new to us and both of us were completely taken with it. It is beautiful presented, easy to navigate and his pictures of the products that he reviews are not only beautifully done but also numerous so you really get to see the products in detail. Oh and this guy is funny. He has a wonderful turn of phrase that resulted in us both sitting here chuckling to ourselves as we read. I have a feeling that hanging out with Dave in real life would be a total blast and he most definitely has been added to the list of sex bloggers I would one day like to meet in person.

10. Domme Chronicles

I have been a very long time reader of Ferns, in fact over the years I am fairly sure there is not much of her content that I have not actually read. Despite the fact that her kink is pretty much the direct opposite of mine I am an avid reader of her site. She is a phenomenal writer and her blog is an honest frank account of what it means to her to be a female Domme.

Continue reading


This month’s Sinful Sunday prompt? Shallow depth of field. And, as this is my first Sinful picture in absolutely ages, I’ve chosen to focus on the reason for my absence – namely, my stomach. It’s stretched quite a bit over the past few months and I’ve been kind of fascinated by the way my bellybutton has flattened out but also the way the texture of my skin has changed …


Who else is sinning this week? Click on the banner below to find out …

Sinful Sunday

Bosch,_Hieronymus_-_The_Garden_of_Earthly_Delights,_right_panel_-_Detail_Green_person_(mid-right)A few weeks back Malin James introduced an excellent (excellent) prompt for Kink of the Week. The subject?


Conceptually, the idea of ‘filth’, in the erotic sense, sings quite a loud sexual song to me but, unfortunately, time and health were against me and I missed the submission deadline for this particular KOTW topic. However, I’ve continued to think a lot about filth and its relationship to both me and my writing and wanted to post about it regardless – not least because I was particularly caught by the following paragraph in Malin’s introductory prompt:


“That’s the thing about filth – it’s inherently subjective. One person’s filth could be someone else’s wholesome night at home. After all, even the filthiest thing can be sweet. Cuckolding your honey with a stranger could be pretty filthy, which could also make it the perfect anniversary gift. Blowjob under a table at a posh restaurant? Risky? Sure. Filthy too. But it could also be a declaration of love. It all depends on a person’s definition of, and relationship to, filth.”




  • disgusting dirt.

“stagnant pools of filth”

  • obscene and offensive language or printed material.

“some calls were vitriolic, accusing us of publishing pornography and filth”

  • corrupt behaviour; decadence.


If I look at the raw dictionary definition of filth above, I can, for the most part, rule out the first two interpretations in relation to my own sexual desires and the erotica I write (although others may very well disagree and be of the opinion that I do indeed pen stories and posts that are comparable to physical squalor and use language that is obscene and/or offensive). And, yes, sometimes I set my stories in less than sanitary conditions. (Dirty nightclub bathroom, anyone?) But that third interpretation of filth?

Not so much.

Because many of the more exciting, interesting, and (to my mind) filthy, sexual fantasies I have floating around in my head involve a corruption of sorts – a challenge to traditional acceptability, if you will. I love the idea of playing with an individual character’s personal boundaries in my erotic fiction, making them transgress, and, thanks to Remittance Girl’s session back at Eroticon in 2013, the intent to make the reader feel that little bit guilty for enjoying what I’ve committed to the page is nearly always on my objective list as I write these days. However, Malin is absolutely right when she asserts that filth is very much dependent on an individual’s perception and definition: although feeling a level of horny shame may be my own personal measure of my stories’ successfulness, that measure is heavily dependent on my readers finding filth in the same places I do. To state the (very) obvious, that’s why certain writers work for some readers and not others.

The stories I’ve written that I deem to be the most ‘filthy’ according to my own personal ‘filth’ litmus test? Probably Soap from Scene (there’s a considerable amount of cum and oral involved) and my more recent Something Meaningful (cum and anonymous sex). (Are you sensing a theme in my personal filth spectrum here?) Yet I’m very well aware that others may read these two stories and find nothing remotely filthy in them at all. Continue reading


Screen Shot 2016-02-11 at 20.06.28During December, I contributed a short story, Something Meaningful, to Tamsin Flowers’ 2015 Superotica Advent Calendar project (which, if you haven’t checked it out, features an amazing collection of sexy stories by some seriously good erotica writers). I intended to publish it here, too, once the Christmas craziness had subsided but, due to recent events, I got slightly sidetracked.

So, here (finally) is Something Meaningful for your reading pleasure. It’s a deliciously filth piece, if I say so myself, and if you’re a fan of D/s, anonymous fucking and, well, cum, I think you’re going to enjoy it …


Something Meaningful


“A soft, wet, well-fucked cunt. That’s what I’m looking for.”

The sound of my fork screeching over my pudding plate has half the heads in the restaurant turning in our direction. Normally, I’d be mortified (my mother taught me better) but so shocked am I by the words that have fallen so casually from his lips I barely notice the culinary faux pas. To the extent that even the stuffy-looking older man giving me disapproving looks from the table near the window fails to provoke even the smallest hint of shame.

Embarrassment has a quota. And the man sitting opposite me has just filled mine.

My hands shake as I take a sip from my water glass.

“What are you looking for?”

Such an innocent first-date question. So natural after all our easy chit-chat.

“How do you like the law?”

A sip of rosé.

“It’s fine. The pay’s good, the hours are shit. How about you? What’s it like being a librarian?”

A bite of silky, overly-rich foie gras.

“The opposite!”

Easy laughter as tender, slippery strands of linguine swing inelegantly from my mouth and brush over my chin.

The water thickens in my throat and I choke it down, all the while studying the smears of chocolate on my plate, avoiding his amused gaze. His words tumble over and over and over in my brain, heavy, damp clothes on an endless churning cycle, the drips rung out of them gathering, unwelcome, between my legs.

A soft, wet, well-fucked cunt.

A. Soft. Wet. Well-fucked. Cunt.






Cunt. Cunt. Cunt.

I don’t ever allow myself to say that word—normally, don’t even allow myself to think it. Not on purpose. Yet around and around in my head it rolls, a penny rattling in an empty drum, a black marble on an infinite run to an even darker horizon.

Cunt. Cunt. Cunt. Cunt. Cunt.

Damn him.

I shift in my seat, angry now, and glare at his amused expression. “I don’t think this is going to work out.” I try for dignity. Wrap myself in the unfamiliar cloak of hauteur—of refined stiffness.


“This date was a mistake. We’re not compatible.”

He smiles. “Aren’t we?”

The arrival of the waiter, bill in hand, prevents me from growling, fiercely, too fiercely, that No! No we’re fucking not!


He pays.

I fuss with my handbag, straighten my dress. The door of the restaurant beckons and I’m tempted to leg it, but decide that would be unforgivably rude.

Wouldn’t it?

Be polite. Thank him for supper. Say goodbye. You’ll never have to see him again.

Alarmingly, the thought is both a relief and a disappointment.

Cunt. Cunt. Cunt.

He helps me into my coat, breath—moist, sweet, warm—tickling the soft, downy hair behind my ear. I want to spit at him, to tell him I neither want nor need his assistance—that he’s far too close. But, to my horror, the words refuse to come. I watch, distantly, as they fall away and tumble into a great black chasm.

Fallen souls cut loose.

Unfamiliar fingers curl around my forearms, ease me towards the restaurant door, the heat of them somehow searing me through layers of fabric.

“Tell me.” His voice is inkier, blacker than molasses. “Do you want to know what the best kind of well-fucked cunt is?”

The soles of my shoes sink into the words, rooting my feet to the floor.

The urge to shake my head is fierce. It is.

But I don’t.


And he laughs, deeply, the sound rougher than raw-hewn oak, the vibrations rumbling from his chest and into my back. Continue reading


Klimt_-_Schwangere_mit_Mann_nach_linksFirstly, an apology. I know I haven’t posted anything on Chintz in quite some time and there has been a somewhat eerie silence behind the curtain without any sort of explanation. I’m really sorry to have left you all hanging without the remotest idea of what’s been going on but (for the reason outlined below) I have been unable to blog or do much of anything for the past three months.

Secondly, a heartfelt ‘thank you’ to all those very sweet people who noticed I’d gone silent and took the time get in touch to check whether I was all right/that I hadn’t fallen into a black hole or been kidnapped by marauding pirates/aliens. Your concern was touching and very much appreciated.

And, lastly, an explanation for my lack of posting. At the beginning of December, I found out I was unexpectedly expecting and, aside from the emotional shock of the discovery (M and I weren’t planning on any more children) together the worry about how this pregnancy will affect me physically given my turbulent pelvic history, I have been very ill with morning sickness and, frankly, barely able to get out of bed, let alone write.

I hope I will be able to resume a more ‘normal’ writing and blogging schedule over the coming weeks but please be patient with me if things continue to be a bit erratic with regard to posting and content. As I have lost a significant amount of weight recently, I will not be photographing myself for Sinful Sunday for the time being as, bluntly, I look very unhealthy body-wise (read: extremely thin apart from my boobs and tummy). However, I have been finding recently that my appetite is returning so if I can pack on the kilos I’ve lost I will have a re-think on this. And, of course, I will have a dig through my archives and see whether I can find some historical images I’m happy to share.

I’m sure many of you are wondering how on earth a sex/erotica blogger manages to get unexpectedly knocked up. Well, let me just say that for all those who’ve ever wondered whether it’s possible to get pregnant from having sex during a period, I can categorically tell you ‘yes’, it is entirely possible. Even when you are over the supposedly fertile peak of your twenties and early thirties. M and I always knew there was a very (very) slim chance that this could happen but, given the low likelihood, figured it was an acceptable risk given our personal circumstances (no pun intended). And, for eighteen years the dice rolled in our favour. It just goes to show that accidental pregnancies can happen to anyone – including those who consider themselves to be contraceptively aware, knowledgeable about their bodies, and (supposedly) past their reproductive prime.

Again, thank you to all those who checked in with me during my time in the wilderness and for your ongoing support. It meant (and continues to mean) a lot.


Image: Pregnant nude and male nudeGustav Klimt


The Other Livvy Elust Header
Photo courtesy of The Other Livvy

Welcome to Elust #77

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #78? Start with the rules, come back January 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!


~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

On the Island of Mhowra

Shoulder shaming?

What becomes of the broken hearted…


~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

You can hear it in my voice.

Fingers – Please Fuck me With Just Them

~ Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*
Don’t tell me sucking dick is easy
Continue reading


I’ve said it before: buying Christmas presents fries my brain. And the older I get, the harder it seems to be to find the perfect gift. In fact, the only ‘easy’ person to purchase for is my dad (bless him) because he asks for the same two things every year:

  1. Peace and Quiet
  2. Number 6 Fish Hooks

M and I are on a real budget at the moment—we’ve decided the beautiful flogger we bought from Daisy’s Floggers last month will be our gift to each other—so, in the spirit of frugal-yet-thoughtful giving, I’ve decided to keep this year’s sexy Christmas gift list short ‘n’ sweet (five items only) and limit it to objects under £40.00 …


Cunt Coloring Book — USD$8.95/GBP$10.00

“Over three dozen c**ts of every size and description for you to color.”

Cracks me up the ‘Look inside’ feature seems to be missing from this one on Amazon and that, for some entirely bizarre reason, they’ve seen fit to asterisk out the word ‘cunt’ from the above description despite the fact it appears as part of the search listing and on the cover:

Screen Shot 2015-12-07 at 14.05.19

Nevertheless, it looks to be a whole lot of fun—and certainly an interesting alternative to all the adult colouring books that are populating bookshops at the moment.


Kamasutra Articulated Paper Dolls (half-set) — £18.36

Absolutely gorgeous, I’m pretty certain I could spend hours playing with these beautiful handcrafted dolls by Maria Dubrovskaya and placing them in compromising positions. If you’ve got a little more to spend, you can opt for the full set, which includes four dolls (£34.68), and create all sorts of delicious group sex scenarios.

Continue reading