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Can you pass out from an orgasm? I didn’t think so, but it turns out, yes. Yes, you bloody can.

The culprit? This beast, the Doxy Massager:

Doxy Massager

As many of you know, I tend to be a dildo girl (generally speaking, vibrators don’t hold quite the same level of interest for me) but I must admit to coveting a massage wand for quite some time. Mainly because the reviews for them have been so outstandingly positive on the orgasm front and I, er, kind of had this rather lovely little fantasy in my head involving M torturing me with one. (More on that in just a minute.)

However, once I ascertained that the existing ‘gold standard’, otherwise known as the Hitachi Magic Wand or ‘Magic Wand Original’, was out of the running (it’s designed to operate on 110/120 volts and I live in a country that runs on 230) I kind of shrugged my shoulders and let things drift.

I had my dildos. I was happy.

Not so M, whose interest had clearly been piqued by my passing confession re. the perceived hotness of vibrator torture. Armed with Google and a credit card, he embarked on The Quest for the Holy Massage Wand and, some time later, an unassuming brown box arrived at our front door.

Inside? A Doxy Massager. Continue reading

24

Eroticon 2015What makes a good erotica cover? Is engaging a designer worth the investment? What are the legal ramifications of using a stock photograph in an erotic context?

Last month, thanks to the lovely Ruby Kiddell, I had the opportunity to present my thoughts on these and other cover-related issues affecting self-published authors – including the pros and cons of various cover creation methods (DIY versus pre-made versus bespoke), design dos and don’ts, fonts, the terms & conditions minefield surrounding royalty-free library images, and the Amazon adult tag – to the attendees of Eroticon 2015. It was great fun and a number of you requested that I put my presentation online for post-conference consumption, which, unfortunately, I’ve only just had the opportunity to do due to travel commitments.

Sincere apologies for the delay, folks.

Obviously, the below presentation is top-line and not backed up by my in-person babbling, so if you have any questions about the various slides, please feel free to get in touch via the comments section and I’ll do my best to answer your queries. NB: I’ve included my session prompt notes, too, to help with the decoding of the various visuals but please be aware that these were my cues for the session rather than exhaustive descriptions for each and every one.

SESSION NOTES

How important is a cover?

  • Really important.
  • Your cover is your shop window.
  • Generally speaking, it’s the first thing a potential reader or customer comes across when presented with your book. And the honest truth is that it’s what most readers – particularly those who’ve never heard of you or read any of your stories before – will use to judge whether they want to investigate further.
  • A good cover is a powerful tool. Your writing can be amazing but, just like if you were to wrap a diamond in old newspaper and present it to someone (as opposed to handing it over to them in a jewellery box), you’ll have to work that much harder to convince them of its quality.
  • Humans are visual creatures. For better or worse, we make judgements based on aesthetics – even when we think we don’t.
  • To demonstrate this, we’re going to play a game of cover bingo. Points for naming the specific sub-genre for each cover and whether or not the title is traditionally published or self-published. Bonus points for naming the publishing decade for the Elizabeth Lowell book.

Continue reading

17

Drinking_glass_bottom

Image: Shot of Fire, gcardinal, Norway

A while back, for Wicked Wednesday, I posted an excerpt from a work-in-progress, 3, and over the past few weeks I’ve continued to expand it, developing both the characters and the storyline.

I have to admit, I’m breaking pretty much every conceivable writing rule in the way I’m penning this thing – no outline whatsoever heading my list of sins – but I’m enjoying myself, so I’m trying not to panic about that too much!

Famous last words.

The following snippet isn’t exactly racy. Sorry. But I think it gives a nice introduction to David, the ‘asker of the rules’ from the first excerpt. And Maddy, the woman to whom they apply …

 

3 – EXCERPT 2

Just after ten, we finally get a lull and I shoot out to take a quick leak, stopping on my way back behind the bar to change up the music to something that doesn’t make me want to stick my elbow in my ear. Def Leppard’s Hysteria has just given way to The Charlatans when Luke comes over and taps me on the shoulder, the frown on his face my first clue something’s not right.

“Got a problem.” He turns and I follow the direction of his gaze to the opposite end of the counter. At first I don’t see what he’s looking at. But then …

Ah, shit.”

The pixie. She’s trying to get up off her stool, her co-ordination totally gone, her fingers gripping the edge of the bar so hard her knuckles have turned white. She’s drunk. As in really, really fucking drunk. Even more worryingly, though, it looks like she’s attracted the attention of a couple of regulars, Hector and Oscar – two city boys whose standard MO is to hit on women who’ve had too much to drink. I’ve never had any outright complaints laid against them so I can’t justify banning them to the owner, but I don’t trust those assholes at all.

Not one inch.

I turn to glare a Luke. “How many drinks you give her?” I growl, tossing the iPod in my hand onto the counter.

Luke puts his hands up defensively. “Hey, don’t look at me, man. I’ve only served her once all evening.”

And I haven’t poured her anything since the first two glasses of Jack. Continue reading

16

The Shingle Beach Photo courtesy of The Shingle Beach

Welcome to Elust #71

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #72? Start with the rules, come back July 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

 

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

Backyard Glory
Bra Wars
Versions of Ourselves

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Disabled characters: who do I write them for?
How Can You Think About Sex Right Now?

~ Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*

Three

Continue reading

25

120px-Pictograms-nps-golfing.svg

Looking for my flash fiction piece, Teeing Off? Well, the bad news is it’s no longer available on my blog (sorry, folks). The good news? It’s being released as part of Promptedan anthology edited by Pick a Prompt instigator Oleander Plume and editor F. Leonora Solomon. So, if you didn’t get a chance to meet my hornier than horny caddy and his golfing buddies first time around, don’t despair – they’ll be back with their sticks and balls before you know it!

Title image: Golfing Pictogram, NPS, (Wikimedia Commons)

24

Skinny bitch

I have been in two minds as to whether to post this picture. Not because it’s revealing – it isn’t – but because I worry that people will actually take the title and image at face value.

But, fuck it. I need to say this.

Earlier in the week, I was at a friend’s house. And someone there, someone I’ve met maybe twice?, perhaps three times?, decided to comment on my weight/size. The not-so-subtle implication being that she thought I had an eating disorder. Now, in so far as it went, her questions weren’t delivered in a completely impolite way – I’ve definitely had worse (see below). But they still pissed me the hell off. Why?

Because I get shit like this ALL. THE. TIME.

I’m not sure why but, for whatever reason, people feel that it’s perfectly acceptable – that they’re perfectly justified, even – in making comments about my body shape. That it’s totally okay to tell me I must have an eating problem. To ask me directly about what I consume on a daily basis (as if I’m supposed to produce a food diary for their perusal). To make snide, derogatory comments about my frame. Because you can’t possibly offend a thin person, can you? Continue reading

22

Bra Wars

I have small boobs.

As in really, really small.

As in AA cup.

As in stick me topless next to a boy and look only at our torsos and you’d be hard-pressed to tell the difference between us. From waist to neck, I’m pretty androgynous.

I’m not ashamed of my smallness – although that hasn’t always been the case – and I’ve even called attention to my breasts (or lack thereof) in various photographs, such as this one. Bluntly, I’m comfortable in my own skin and I really couldn’t give two hoots if my body doesn’t conform to a standard or ideal. It’s mine and it does everything I want it to. (Well, mostly!)

That said, there’s one thing about having minuscule boobs that drives me absolutely nucking futs: finding a bra that actually fits and at least makes an attempt to acknowledge the concept of ‘sexy’.

Attention, lingerie designers and manufacturers! I may be shaped like a rake but I am not asexual. Nor am I twelve. Want to know what buying a bra is like for someone of modest proportions? Believe me when I say the level of difficulty is right up there with destroying the Death Star.

A long time ago (yesterday) in a lingerie shop (not so) far, far away …

Continue reading

16

exposing 40
Photo courtesy of Exposing 40

Welcome to Elust #70

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #71? Start with the rules, come back June 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

 

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

Exposed! My Mom Knows!

Flash Fiction: “A Taste”

I am a Sex Blogger & I Reject Pseudonymity

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

‘X’ is for X…
Give my guilt an erotic payoff? Tell me more.

~ Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*

Dis-moi…

Continue reading