sex Archives « Behind the Chintz Curtain

Oct 16

*A massive ‘thank you’ to everyone who voted my Pain Positive and Sex toy manuals: puppies, kittens and a whole lot of nonsensical fluff as top picks for this month’s edition of e[lust], and an even bigger one to the wonderful people who made the former article possible – Molly (Molly’s Daily Kiss, @Mollysdailykiss), DomSigns (@DomSigns), Trent Evans (Trent Evans Letters, @TrentEvansTales) and M. They, without doubt, deserve the lion’s share of the credit.

Photo courtesy of Property of Potter

Welcome to e[lust] - The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at e[lust]. Want to be included in e[lust] #52? Start with the newly updated rules, come back November 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

7 (Random!) Suggestions for Dominant Types!

Pain Positive

i know what you are.

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Golden Girl

Have You Met Larry

~ Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*

Sex toy manuals: puppies, kittens and a whole lot of nonsensical fluff

Continue reading →

Oct 04

“Pain is an unpleasant sensory and emotional experience associated with actual or potential tissue damage, or described in terms of such damage.”

– International Association for the Study of Pain

As a sensation in general, pain (understandably) gets a bad wrap. If we accept the above definition, it’s the body’s way of letting us know that we’re doing something to it that it would rather we didn’t.

But, for some, feeling and/or inflicting pain isn’t always a negative experience. What about those of us who have a positive, healthy relationship with it? Who consider it to be an intrinsic part of our sexual selves and a consensual, loving relationship?

I have been trying to write this post for a while but it has proven to be rather difficult. Mainly because I’m not confident that I can fully articulate the nuances of erotic pain, it subtleties – its beauty – in any sort of way that will do it justice. Not to mention that I am fighting against the ridiculously outdated perceptions of sexual/erotic pain put forward in the late 1800s and early Twentieth Century by two well-known psychiatrists. (Yep, we’re still defining sadism and masochism according to theories that are now over 100 years old. How’s that for progress?)

So I’ve called in help – big time – in the form of four very awesome people, all of whom, like me, have a close relationship with sexual pain and view it rather differently to Richard von Krafft-Ebing and Sigmund Freud …

THE RECEIVING END

Molly

That first touch of his hand or the flogger or the paddle is always a shock that makes me gasp for breath and often, for a split second, a little glimmer of hate for this moment will niggle at my brain. ‘Ow that hurts’ my knee jerk reaction but only for a moment. The smallest of moments, because then it is replaced with a heat, a strong powerful surge of chemicals that flood my nervous system but all too soon they begin to wane, disappearing alone my nerve endings and fluttering away to almost nothing until the next strike and then the next and onwards. My body greedily lapping up the sensation, riding on an ever building wave of heat and pressure making my muscles twitch and my skin throb. Nothing else exists in this moment, the pain (for want of a better word) is a consuming focusing point that dances through my body, emptying my mind of everything and making me feel. Everything is more when there is pain and yet everything is me. I am the centre of myself or should I say my body is. Alight with heat, hot electric pulsing heat that fills me up and consumes me, washing everything else away. I am raw, exposed, vulnerable and yet invincible. In that moment I feel so truly alive. Continue reading →

Oct 01

Last week, I saw this tweet by blogger and writer Betty Herbert …

… and had something of a ‘heck, yeah!’ moment. Mainly because Betty had managed to articulate in less than 140 characters something that has been bugging me for a long time: sex toy manufacturers’ use of annoyingly euphemistic language within their instruction manuals. Or, put another way, their ridiculous insistence on providing virtually no practical instruction whatsoever when it comes to anything other than nuts and bolts functionality.

When I questioned her further about her tweet, Betty went on to say:

If you own a vibrator, or a dildo, or a cock ring, or a butt plug, or any other kind of sex toy or implement, you’ll likely understand exactly what it is she and I are talking about. How many times have you taken something out of the box, perused the manual, and gotten a run-down on Button A and Button B but nothing whatsoever about how or where to insert it? Looked at something online, twisted your head sideways and thought ‘how the hell does that work?’ Turned something over and over in your hands and, after scratching the old noggin, thought ‘well, I get the basic idea, but is this the front or the back?’ Granted, most of us can work out where to stick a dildo or a vibrator but as toy designs evolve and change, become more sophisticated, it’s not always as simple as it might seem to navigate the parameters of functionality. Continue reading →

Sep 28

It took me a few attempts to get this picture – mainly because I had the camera balanced on a swivel office chair, a box, and a folded jumper. Oh, and then there was the small matter of me hitting the timer and dashing onto the bed. (I’m all about the professionalism, no?) Anyway, I hope you like the resulting image; my OH has asked me to call this one ‘Waiting’. Why? Well, I think you can all figure that one out …

Continue reading →

Sep 22

Has anyone seen my knickers?!

Who else is joining in with this week’s Sinful Sunday? Click on the banner below to find out. Continue reading →

Sep 19

*This month’s e[lust] is out and there are some truly fantastic articles in this edition, as well as a stunning photograph by Down the Rabbit Hole. (Please note that I’ve placed the latter below the fold for this particular post as it features a pair of – extremely beautiful! – naked breasts. Just something to be aware of if you’re clicking the ‘Read More’ tab in full view of others!)

Welcome to e[lust] - The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at e[lust]. Want to be included in e[lust] #51? Start with the newly updated rules, come back October 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

When the sex isn’t great

The Least You Can Do

I don’t know how to dominate

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

TO THE MAN WHO OWNS MY SUBMISSION

Why I Need Him There.

~ Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

First lesbian love

Continue reading →

Sep 17

As requested, a new instalment in the My Life in Books series. I know I’ve been promising one of these for a while now but I had to think on the best way to write them going forwards as the initial idea was to do the two age-slash-milestone-book posts and leave it at that. At last, I think I’ve come up with something you might enjoy, so (cue drumroll) … may I present My Life in Books (Part Three): Wild Men.

As you may have deduced from the title, this entry focuses on a type of fictional hero I have a particular soft spot for: one who can build a tent out of a handkerchief, catch a fish with a shoelace, and ride a horse upside down. Oh, and burn the sheets up (of course). These choices aren’t erotic so much as romantic, but I’m an absolute sucker for a good love story and make no apology for it.

Only His – Elizabeth Lowell

Warning! This is total romantic schmaltz and has all the stereotypical cheese one would expect from this type of book:

Angry Alpha hero? Check.

Naïve virginal heroine? Present.

Improbable plot? Oh, ho ho, yes.

In fact, this scathing Publisher’s Weekly review from 1991 sums it up pretty well:

‘In this tedious historical romance, Lowell (Tell Me No Lies) gives barely enough plot to keep a short story moving. Willow Moran, a West Virginian who lost her parents and most of her possessions during the Civil War, is traveling west with her remaining valuables—five Arabian horses—to find her brother Matt, who is prospecting for gold. Her guide from Denver to the San Juan mountains is former Army scout Caleb Black who, unbeknownst to Willow, also is hunting Matt; on her deathbed, after bearing an illegitimate baby, Caleb’s sister named Matt as her seducer. The largely uneventful journey, complicated only by ruffians who are pursuing them (to steal Willow’s horses and finish a fight begun in Denver with Caleb), occupies a substantial portion of the book: Willow and Caleb spend much of their time riding, eating and lusting after each other. By the time the hero, ”with a silent curse at his unruly desires,” indulges in yet another assessment of the heroine, wondering ”how her hair would feel spilling over his naked skin, ” the reader is likely to be silently cursing right along with him—and brother Matt isn’t even close to being on the horizon.’

– Copyright 1991 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

So why on earth did I like it so much? Because it is epically enjoyable in all its sugary, schmaltzy ridiculousness, of course! Not only is Caleb’s hardness wonderfully hot – his character, not his penis, you dirty-minded individuals (although that particular bit of wood does make a, er, firm appearance) – but the landscape in which all this carry-on takes place is beautifully rendered by the author. The sex is very, very tame (and it does take Caleb and Willow absolutely ages to get it on with one another) but despite its relative chasteness and unrealistically perfect execution, it’s surprisingly enjoyable when it does eventually make an appearance.

In summary: 1990s-style Alpha hero who can ride a horse, deflower virgins with aplomb, and shoot a six-gun like no one’s business. Continue reading →

Aug 28

Image: courtesy of Tech Affair

‘Do you talk during sex? Do you like to be talked to during sex? What do you say or what do you like to hear? Does it excite you or does it turn you off?’

Words. They have the ability to steal the breath more effectively than a cane, settle beneath the skin more deeply than the thud of a flogger, bind and hold us more firmly than any rope.

When I saw that this was the topic prompt for this week’s Wicked Wednesday, I was thrilled (superb suggestion, Lord Raven). Why? Well, words are a huge (huge) part of my personal kink.

Sex, for me, is rarely silent. It’s always better when there’s verbal communication going on, because, in my opinion, while our bodies generally give our partners a pretty good idea as to whether we’re enjoying ourselves (or not), the right words have the ability to elevate and texture an exchange in a way that nothing else can. They give the speaker and the listener the opportunity to further engage the senses, to fall more fully into an experience and connect more deeply with one another. Over time, I’ve come to understand that I actually need the verbal element in order to reach the places that I find most satisfying. I don’t mean that I require a constant stream of words and chatter to orgasm. Far from it. Rather, that a few choice words and phrases have the ability to elevate sex or a D/s exchange to a whole other level. Put simply, my brain needs to be engaged for me to be aroused and language plays a massive part in its stimulation. Continue reading →

Aug 25

The shoes I’m wearing in this picture aren’t mine. But I wish they were. Oh, how I wish they were …

Sinning is fun! Come and see who else is getting up to mischief by clicking on the banner below.

Aug 15

This month’s e[lust] is out! (And can I just say that I’m beyond thrilled to be one of Molly’s featured picks for this edition. )

Photo courtesy of Love Hate Sex Cake

Welcome to e[lust] - The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at e[lust]. Want to be included in e[lust] #50? Start with the newly updated rules, come back September 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!