10

Squeeze. Tease. The agony and ecstasy of nipple clamps

What we used:  Squeezer Teaser clover nipple clamps
From: Lovehoney
Price: £7.99
Material(s): metal (unspecified) and nylon

Intrigued by nipple clamps but not sure if they’re for you? Lizzie gives her opinion of You2Toys’ Squeezer Teaser clover clamps.

*This post is NSFW (not suitable for work) as it does contain an image of a bare breast and a nipple (shock horror). If you choose to read on, please take the time to peruse the Behind the Chintz Curtain disclaimer before doing so.

First thoughts …

Lizzie
I’m quite a fan of nipple clamps but I’ve always had a bit of a thing for the pleasure/pain dynamic, so I guess that shouldn’t be a surprise to me. However, this is the first set of Japanese clovers or ‘butterfly’ clamps that I’ve tried – previously, Thomas and I have stuck with the tweezer design – and I’m dying to see if I can handle them because, from an intensity perspective, they’re pretty near the top of the tree when it comes to pressure. Just how intense will they be? Will they be too much? Will I back out?

The packaging …

Lizzie
Ye gads. This is tacky sex toy packaging at its best. A woman sitting on the bonnet of what I can only assume is a police car and wearing nothing but a fake policeman’s hat and the Squeezer Teaser clamps on her extremely large nipples. Oh, and sporting the obligatory heavily deforested pubic area. The bit that has me in stitches, though? The hilarious ‘crime tape’ graphic emblazoned across the lower half of her body with the words ‘excitement area’. Continue reading →

07

The erotic: now and then

The word ‘erotic’, the adjective that describes the arousal of sexual desire or excitement, made its first appearance in the Seventeenth Century. It was derived from the French word érotique, which was, in turn, based on the Greek words erõtikos, erõs, and erõt ‘sexual love’.

With all the media chatter going on about erotica ‘entering the mainstream’ post-Fifty Shades of Grey, it’s easy to forget that there’s been a wealth of wonderful – and sometimes controversial – erotic literature, paintings and objects that’s appeared over the centuries. In fact, our modern sexual lexicon is heavily influenced by all that has gone before. Take, for example, the words ‘sadism’ and ‘masochism’ (which I included definitions for in my last link round-up post). While many of us do understand their meaning, a considerably smaller number of people are aware of (or have read the work of) the writers after whom they were coined - Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, author of Venus in Furs, and Donatien Alphonse François, also known as the Marquis de Sade. Similarly, sex toys are nothing new: did you know that the word ‘dildo’ appeared in English in the 1500s?

If you’ve visited the Behind the Chintz Curtain Facebook page and scrolled back to the very beginning, you’ll know that we’ve included some significant sexual milestones, starting from the 1300s, in our timeline. But if you’re not a Facebook user – or simply can’t be bothered hitting the arrow key or stroking your mouse to get that far back – here they are. Think there’s something significant missing from the line up? Let me know …

 

2011: Fifty Shades of Grey

Fifty Shades of Grey by E. L James is released as an eBook by Australian virtual publisher, The Writers’ Coffee Shop.

 

2003-2004: Belle de Jour

Brooke Magnanti writes (anonymously) about her life as a prostitute via her blog, Belle de Jour: Diary of a London Call Girl (later published as Belle de Jour: The Intimate Adventures of a London Call Girl).

Image: Brooke Magnanti, a.k.a Belle de Jour, 2010. Original photograph by Paul Clarke.

Continue reading →

05

Masochism versus sadism, Domme school, and sex toys on baggage carousels

It’s Wednesday. Which means it’s link day.

This week’s collection of articles and posts includes a Belfast Telegraph article, which suggests that they (and the husband of Fifty Shades author, E.L. James) need to buy a dictionary and look up the meaning of ‘masochist’, a chat with the London Mistress School, and a poor couple whose sex toy was ‘outed’ by United Continental.

 

Husband of Fifty Shades of Grey author insists ‘I’m no masochist’
Source: Belfast Telegraph

 

‘The Northern Irish husband of Fifty Shades of Grey author EL James has denied that she based the seductive Christian Grey character on him.

He said of the best-selling phenomenon: “I’m not a masochist and that’s all I’m going to say about our sex life.”’

 

Uh, I’m totally confused by this piece of journalism. Mr Leonard, your wife has written a book about a man who is a sadist. Therefore saying that you’re ‘not a masochist’ doesn’t make it seem any less likely that Erika didn’t base Christian Grey on you. FYI, the person doing the spanking, caning, and flagellating is the sadist, yes? Which, by my brilliant powers of deduction, would make the masochist the person on the receiving end of the palm/cane/flogger. Unless I’m misreading this completely and you’re simply trying to tease us by telling us what doesn’t float your boat, i.e. pain? Continue reading →

04

My Liege of Dark Haven – Cherise Sinclair

Title: My Liege of Dark Haven
Author: Cherise Sinclair
Publisher: Loose Id LLC (August 26, 2012)
ISBN: 978-1-61118-978-0

Cherise Sinclair, how much do I love My Liege? Let me count the ways.

I love the depth and breadth of His character.
I love His outward poise and inner grace.
I love His calm, His confidence.
I love His humility.
I love His stoicism.
I love the way He expresses himself.
I love that He questions himself.
I love His naturalness.
But most of all, I love His dominance.

Oh, my goodness. If I had the ability to will a fictional character into existence, I would be doing my utmost to bring Xavier Leduc (a.k.a ‘My Leige’) to life. He strides about the pages of My Liege of Dark Haven, dominating the characters in the story – the heroine, Abigail Bern, in particular – and the reader like the most wonderfully dark maestro. He is absolutely – wonderfully – consuming.

I realise that I’ve only recently posted a review for one of Cherise Sinclair’s other books (Breaking Free from the Club Shadowlands/Masters of the Shadowlands series) but I’ve been waiting for My Leige’s story for the past few months and it – He – is just too good not to talk about immediately. Master Xavier waits for no one.

So what’s My Liege of Dark Haven about, then? Let me tell you, dear reader, let me tell you … Continue reading →

03

His Sugar Baby – Sarah Roberts

Title: His Sugar Baby
Author: Sarah Roberts
Publisher: Siren Publishing, Inc. (04 October 2011)
ISBN: 978-1619263956

I almost didn’t buy this book because of the title. I guess it’s the images and connotations that the terms ‘sugar baby’ and ‘sugar daddy’ inevitably conjure in my head – none of them particularly positive. (Yes, yes, I realise I’m being judgemental.) Thankfully, His Sugar Baby surprised me. It wasn’t a sickly sweet tale of an overly-indulged heroine who does nothing more than have sex with a man for superficial gain. Nor was it a boringly straightforward ‘destitute woman meets rich man and they fall instantly and unrealistically in lust’ story. Rather, it was an exploration of a mother’s unconditional love for her child and what she is prepared to sacrifice – physically and morally – to protect her offspring.

Cathy Somerset is a single parent in an awful situation. Her only child, Chloe, is suffering from cancer and when we meet her at the beginning of His Sugar Baby, she has reached breaking point – financially and emotionally. Her health insurance cover has reached an end, her job is no longer able to provide enough income to sustain her daughter’s treatments, and she barely has the cash to buy food and pay rent. Quite simply, Cathy is drowning beneath the relentless tide of her daughter’s mounting medical bills and crumbling with the stress of caring for a seriously ill child without the support of a partner. Desperate times call for desperate measures. To her own disbelief, she responds to an online personal advertisement:

 

‘Mature Sugar Baby wanted—I’m seeking a slender, attractive woman, 22-34, for a friends-with-benefits arrangement that will provide you with up to seven Benjamins per week or about three grand per month.’ Continue reading →

31

Dirty weekend

I’m frustrated.

The Internet, for the first time ever it seems, is letting me down. I want a dirty night away with my other half. And do you think I can find a hotel that fits the bill? That would be a resounding ‘No’.

There’s nothing better than some time alone with a partner, away from the stresses of work and family life. It gives you the opportunity to focus solely on each other and remember ‘who you are’ as a couple – something that’s very easy to forget when you’re both exhausted from long hours in the office and bringing up young children. In fact, I’d go as far as to say one-on-one time is essential for a healthy and fulfilling relationship, especially post-kids. We adore ours more than anything but every once in a while it’s nice to just be with each other and talk about something other than homework and swimming lessons. To play a game doesn’t involve getting four counters of the same colour in a row or extracting plastic snot from a buzzing hospital patient. To not have to remember to bolt the bedroom door and keep the noise down when we’re having sex. To let ourselves go. Continue reading →

30

Do TheyFit? The new frontier: custom-fitted condoms

What we used: TheyFit custom-fitted condoms
From: TheyFit
Price:  £6.99 for a pack of six
Material(s): Latex

Custom-fitted suits? Pfft. So last year. You can now buy condoms tailored to the length and width of your penis. Thomas gets the opportunity to try out TheyFit’s unique ‘sized service’.

First thoughts …

Thomas
I have to admit that when Jane got in touch about trialling custom-fitted condoms, my first thought was ‘are they going to send someone round?’. I had visions of a seedy individual arriving on my doorstep with a tape measure and some chalk (or perhaps a roll of Clingfilm). Disturbing.

But as it turns out, there’s no bloke in a raincoat. You simply go to the TheyFit website (www.theyfit.com), print out a template, and use it to measure the width and girth of your todger. Armed with your vital statistics, you then submit your size code via TheyFit’s online ordering service and they send you one of 95 sizes, ranging from modest to bloody humungous (my words, not theirs). I’m intrigued … Continue reading →

29

Paid perving, re-vamped vaginas, and real submission

Last Wednesday, I published a selection of links that took you to some interesting articles and posts that I’d come across courtesy of email alerts. It proved to be quite popular, so I’m planning on doing one of these round-ups every week from now on. No strange sex toys in this edition, I’m afraid, but there is voyeurism, ‘like a virgin’ cream and submission …

 

This is how you do it!
Source: New York Post

Fancy a career in voyeurism? A New York man has managed to set up a business that pays him to observe others having sex. Eric Amaranth, who is described by the New York Post as ‘gangly and unassuming’ has cultivated a client base who are willing to pay him USD$175.00 an hour for a ‘talk session’ (one assumes the chat differs markedly from that in the pub on an average Friday night) and a whopping USD$240.00 an hour for a ‘guided session’, during which he ‘observes’ their performances and offers pointers. What I want to know is, what earns you an ‘F’ (‘That’s inappropriate use of that vibrator, madam’), and whether voyeurism will be offered as an undergraduate course at leading universities?  Continue reading →

28

Woohoo! Good clean fun?

What we used: woohoo! water-based intimate lubricant
From: Boots
Price:  £5.99 – £6.99 for a 50ml tube
Ingredient(s): Aqua (water), Cyamopsis tetragonolbus (Guar gum)*, Ceratonia siliqua (Locust bean gum)*, Aloe barbadensis leaf juice powder (Aloevera)*, Camellia sinensis (Green tea extract)*, Equisetem arvense (Horsetail extract)*, Carrageenan (Red seaweed extract), Phenoxyethanol, Potassium sorbate, Citric acid

*Organically grown ingredients.

Is organic better? Lizzie shares her thoughts on Soil Association-certified woohoo! lubricant.

First thoughts …

Lizzie
It’s very easy to get stuck in a lube rut. You find one, it makes things sufficiently slippery, job done. Thomas and I often use the same brand for months at a time and then, usually because the one we’re courting is out-of-stock at our supermarket (we tend to buy lube as part of our grocery shop), we switch and the cycle starts again. Occasionally, a new lube will catch my eye when I’m in the local pharmacy, generally because it has some sort of twist to it (‘cooling!’, ‘heating!’, etc.) and I’ll pick it up, but I’m fundamentally a simple girl and have discovered over time that I like my lube plain and simple – non-irritating, water-based and with a decent texture to it. If I want hot and cold, there are other things around the house the work just as well – but that’s another post entirely.

woohoo! is a bit of a departure from the status quo for me as I consider organic products a ‘nice to have’ rather than an essential – I don’t make a habit of buying them – but I do have to say that I’m not immune to the appeal of slathering a chemical-free substance on and inside myself. Continue reading →

24

The Garden of Earthly Delights – an erotic tale (part nine)

In the last Garden episode, Nick revealed a little more about himself: how he met Tristan, the Dom who helped him top Grace in part one, and why he doesn’t normally play with inexperienced subs. In this instalment, he and Grace are still at the dinner table – sorry, I can’t seem to get them away! – but the conversation is starting to get … interesting.

 

THE GARDEN OF EARTHLY DELIGHTS – PART NINE

Grace had never felt less like eating in her life. Normally, she loved her food but her brain was working a mile a minute, turning over everything that Nick had said to her, and all the thinking was killing her appetite. Ironically, now that they’d started talking she wasn’t sure she wanted to stop.

Grace forced herself to take a couple of bites of the lamb the waiter had recently delivered to their table. It was excellent, she noticed distractedly, but as soon as she’d swallowed her second mouthful she put her knife and fork down on the plate and asked the question that had been percolating since Nick had mentioned his acquaintance with Tristan.

‘How did you meet Caelan?’

Nick looked up from the piece of pink meat he was pushing through an artistically drizzled puddle of mint sauce.

‘I first got talking to him about six months ago. He used to live here in Winchester and go to the same club Tristan and I met at but he’s been in Dubai for a while on an engineering contract. He’s only recently moved back.’ Nick took a sip of his Peroni. ‘I don’t know him very well on a personal level, but like I explained when we first talked about doing what we did last night, he’s experienced. Much more so than me or Tristan. It’s the reason I asked him to be there. I thought it would be safer for both of us.’

Grace could feel herself blushing again. ‘I’m sorry it all went so–.’

‘Grace.’ Her name cracked out of in his mouth, sharp and brittle. ‘You will stop apologising.’

‘Okay. It’s just I really am s–’ She caught herself just in time, shoved another bite of lamb in her mouth and concentrated on chewing.

‘Did it bother you having Tristan and Caelan watch us?’ Continue reading →