Title: This Is Who I Am (Shadowlands Book 7)
Author: Cherise Sinclair
Publisher: Loose Id LLC (27 May 2013)
ISBN: 978-1-62300-148-3
Reviewer(s): Michael & Jane

 

This joint review was a no-brainer for us. Michael and I are both big fans of Cherise Sinclair and it’s fair to say that we were both gagging to read this latest instalment in her Shadowlands series. When I suggested to him that This Is Who I Am should be our next project?

 

@Jane: I have been looking forward to that book for over a year:

‘”I won’t scar you. I won’t go past when you can take. If you can trust me that far, this will be much easier for you.” He met her eyes straight on, letting her read his body, hear the truth, and see it in his face. “But, Linda, I’m going to hurt you. You’ll hate me when I make you take it, and you’ll hate even more that you need it. That it fills that hole inside you and cleans away the clutter.”‘

(To Command and Collar (Shadowlands Book 6))

 

@Michael: CANNOT WAIT for Sam. And DeVries from Dark Haven. They both scare and tempt at the same time … *sigh*

 

Yep, we were pushing the download button on release day.

Did it live up to our expectations?

 

MICHAEL’S TAKE 

I tend to think of the Shadowlands series as one of the crown jewels of romantic BDSM fiction. Each book in it tends to be better than the last.

Last year we were treated to the most fantasy-oriented of the series. When Kim is rescued from the evil Harvest Association by Raoul, a series of improbable events causes her to assume the place of the slave he has always wanted. During the course of the story we see a moment occur between Linda, another woman kidnapped by the Harvesters, and Sam, a friend of Raoul’s, who tries to keep her safe in a rather unique way. A way that ends badly.

 

‘He rubbed his hand over his mouth, wanting to swear up a storm. He’d sliced into her defenses with less finesse than a baby dom with a new whip. After a glance at the attendant who still hovered nearby, Sam knew he couldn’t explain to her, to apologize–not here–but when this was over, they’d talk. Damn straight, they would.’

 

But they wouldn’t. At least not until now.

Linda is home. Back from her kidnapping. Recovered physically and largely emotionally. But she faces a new menace, in some ways just as destructive and self-serving as her kidnappers: The Court of Public Opinion. She wasn’t a child kidnapped from her bedroom. She wasn’t a teen walking home from her fast food restaurant job. She was a woman who had just stepped out of an S&M dungeon. That meant she deserved what happened to her, right? In fact, she probably enjoyed all of it.

Fortunately, not everyone feels that way. And foremost among them is Sam.

Linda is a masochist and a submissive. This isn’t a story about a woman who thinks that she’s become either of these things through a bad experience. What Sam provides is a way for her to work through her feelings and figure out where she wants to go with them. And she actually helps Sam do the same thing in the process. Because he’s got some experiences in his past that he’s never quite dealt with, too.

Just one minor thing: The stories are set in Tampa, a place I know pretty well. In fact, I used to live right where one of the key events in the story takes place (when Sam meets Linda’s children at the café). But I never got the feeling that they were really there, as much as the geographical references are sprinkled in, from looking at a map. Next time, I would at least like to know if we are on Fowler, Fletcher, or 30th Street.

This one is timely, both advancing the genre and the story of the series. And I can’t wait to see what happens next.

 

JANE’S TAKE 

Responsible.

That’s the word that springs to mind whenever I read a book from Cherise Sinclair’s Shadowlands series. Basically, I know that whatever happens, the Doms won’t behave like complete tools and the submissives, whatever their issues, will end up grinning from ear-to-ear because they’ve been done six kinky ways ‘til Sunday. And then some. Given that This Is Who I Am’s male protagonist is a Dominant sadist and the plotline revolves around sexual enjoyment through pain, both giving and receiving? Well, let’s just say that knowing the story was written by Ms Sinclair was a huge (huge) weight off my mind going in. This sort of subject matter can be pretty frickin’ scary to read about when tackled with the wrong pen but, as predicted, this book goes to all those lovely dark places you want it to without ever feeling negatively risky or dangerous.

 

As Michael said to me while we were reading:

 

‘Cherise just has a way of creating Doms that I trust implicitly to do the right thing. Not every author does that for me.’

 

So, the pain factor; how hardcore is the hurting? Well, personally, I thought all the scenes between Linda and Sam were handled beautifully and, while there are some things that may make certain readers’ eyes open a little wider, their interactions are written in such a way that everything that passes between them feels incredibly natural and erotic. The descriptions of masochistic pleasure and the way Linda processes it are excellent and the way Sam conducts himself and his need to hurt refreshingly unapologetic. The play never feels out-of-control or violent – just measured, sensual, exciting and very, very hot. It’s accessible S/M, in other words; I wasn’t reading and going ‘I can’t believe they did that!’ or ‘WTF?’.

Which leads me on nicely to my next point.

I really (really) loved the ‘normalisation’ of masochism and sadism in this book – and would even go so far as to say this was the aspect of This Is Who I Am that resonated with me the most. People being to able to talk openly and honestly, to accept themselves for what they are without fear and/or shame? Bring it on.

 

Finally, Sam.

Dear, God, but I love that man. (He’s not real, Jane. He’s not real …)

@Michael:

I love Sam.

I love Sam.

I love Sam.

Did I mention how much I love Sam?

I think if I could assemble my perfect Sadist, LEGO-style, he’d be pretty close to what I’d end up with.

I know that This Is Who I Am is an idealised, romantic version of BDSM but the core sentiments are beautiful and, ultimately, what many of us would want to find or experience in a D/s S/M exchange. The suspense plot is a little woolly but with such erotic scenes between the protagonists, who really cares?

Tickle your fancy? Click on the following links to purchase a copy:

Amazon.co.uk

• This Is Who I Am – Kindle

Amazon.com

• This Is Who I Am – Kindle

 

 

 

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