As a confirmed reading addict, it should come as no surprise that I belong to a number of book-loving community groups. One of them has a particularly good ‘free books’ thread, which lists – pretty much on a daily basis – erotica titles that are being given away online by their authors or publishers. (It’s a very effective way of feeding the need to read with a view to avoiding certain bankruptcy.)

One of the outstanding contributors to this noticeboard is Becca, who does an amazing job of letting all the group members know what’s just popped up and where we can find it. And the other day, she unearthed what can only be described as the most hilarious sounding erotica ever, Flight to Oblivion by one Captain Chris Felton. Per the blurb on Amazon (and, yes, all the following typos are actually in the product description):

 

‘Kester Wylie is invited to fly on an inaugural flight for a friends new airline. Seven hours into the 4 hour flight they find things are not wuite right. Kester has to break into the planes anti hijack cockpit and try to land the jet. He alters the auto pilot settings and lowers the plane, where he crash landed it on a desert island as they were almost out of fuel. There follows a struggle with the survivors, and he befriends two females and a Japanese team of cheer leaders. He takes them under his wing and eventually they are rescued he finds that the cheerleaders and their manager are all pregnant. He discovers the plane was brought down by a sophisticated missile system. Build in Shanghai by a Chinese his tech military contractor. He gets involved in an intreaguing plot to kill him. Along the way he encounters many beautiful females whom he seduces and they end up living with him, a tale of adventure and enigma and highly charged erotic situations.’

 

Holy cr*p! Executive Decision meets Bring it On meets Castaway meets Never Say Never Again. Danger! Disaster! Steven Seagal! (Okay, maybe I’m making that last one up, but it feels like he should be in this book!) It’s an erotic mash-up of epic proportions. One that I feel requires some supplementary visual diagrams.

Yep, you guessed it. The stick figures are back with a world first: Book Blurb by Pictures. (The Amazon product description team are going to be beating down my door …)

 

Part One: Kester makes an Executive Decision

 Part two: Castaway – The Cheerleader Years

 Part three: Bring on the Babies!

Part Four: Look, I know I said I’d Never Be Late Again but …

You know, after all this writing and drawing, I have the strange urge to watch Airplane! …

NB: Need more stick figure action? The lined ones go wild on horses in this post.

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