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I love the Internet. It’s an endless river of information at my fingertips. A few quick key taps and I can find out about pretty much anything. But, lately, you know what I’ve really developed a thing for? Google Alerts. Having the ability to use words and phrases to throw up all sorts of news articles, blog posts, commentaries and clips that directly – and sometimes very tenuously – relate to things that interest me. So today, I thought I’d share some of the more intriguing Chintzy links that have arrived in my inbox, courtesy of GA, over the past week or so …

 

15 Real Sex Toys That Will Give You Nightmares
Source: http://www.cracked.com/

Dear God but this article from Cracked.com made my eyes bug out on stalks. I’m a pretty open-minded person but, boy, this post was a bit of an education. The title pretty much says it all and apparently, it’s a follow-on from the ‘most disturbing toys’ articles the author, Ian Fortey, wrote in 2008 and 2009.

The writing in this blog post is very funny and extremely witty – ensure you don’t have food or liquid in your mouth when reading because you will choke and/or spit them across the room – but a note of caution: if you’re easily offended or freaked out, steer clear. The article doesn’t feature any overt nudity or sex acts and there are a bunch of images that have been pixelated out in full to preserve your sanity but it’s still something of a trip. Favourite quote: ‘Finally, the sexual thrill of being a supermarket pork chop can be yours’. NSFW (Not Suitable for Work).

 

Why erotica is the new must-read
Source: http://www.thisissomerset.co.uk/

Elizabeth Forster, a pen name, talks about living in rural England and why she writes her erotica novels in secret. Author of Educating Anna and Sins of the Flesh – neither of which I’ve read but, after scanning their synopses on Amazon, feel strongly compelled to! – Elizabeth discusses why she thinks erotica and erotic romance books are so popular and how she deals with keeping her writing life under wraps from friends and family. I now have visions of the villagers of Shepton Mallet twitching their drapes and playing ‘guess the identity of the saucy book writer’…

Behind the Chintz Curtain indeed.

 

Fifty Shades Casting: Christian Grey, Tour Guide
Source: http://uk.eonline.com/

And, finally, the Fifty Shades of Grey juggernaut continues. You might have noticed that I mentioned this article on the Chintz Facebook page earlier in the week but if you missed that update, you’ll be pleased or horrified (depending on your point-of-view) to know that you can now visit Stratford upon Avon, home of the Royal Shakespeare company, birthplace of the Bard, and experience ‘An Evening with Christian Grey’. Yes, no more Tempest for you Merry Wives. Instead ‘a light-hearted experience, that will allow the visitors to celebrate a good time, drawing on some of the themes from the popular Fifty Shades trilogy.’ I wonder: will the Christian Grey stand-in – currently being recruited – get to flog the guests? And will The Falstaff Experience, the folks running this, er, show, have the bottle to include anal beads in a take-home goodie bag?

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