Title: The 52 Seductions
Author: Betty Herbert
Publisher: Headline (19 Jan 2012)
ISBN: 978-0755362530
It’s a ‘fifty’ book, but not the one you’re thinking of. The 52 Seductions began life as a blog, with the author, Betty Herbert, recording a series of seductions that she and her husband perform in in an attempt to kick-start their waning sex life.
Realising that, sexually speaking, things have started to go off the boil in their relationship despite them still being very much in love with one another (‘I am not prudish; I have just been married for ten years’), Betty talks ‘Herbert’, her husband, into engaging in a seduction every week for a year. Her theory is that sex begets more sex, and by ‘forcing’ themselves to make love, their desire for each other will increase in proportion to the amount they’re actually having. They agree that they’ll take turns devising them, with Betty dreaming up and organising a seduction one week and Herbert the next. What unfolds is book that charts Betty and Herbert’s rediscovery of one another and an examination of their attitudes towards sex in general.
One of the things this book does well is to highlight – very accurately – the hum-drum of long term partnerships while also pointing out that said hum-drum doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve fallen out of love with your significant other. It boldly acknowledges what’s likely true for a lot of long-term couples: that you’ve gone through the first, frenzied flush of sexual discovery, things have settled into a routine, and going outside of the status quo when you’ve been plodding along the same road at the same pace for some time takes some guts.
‘This isn’t a book about the dying of love. Herbert and I adore each other and are extremely, smugly happy. We don’t have any children to exhaust us or get in the way of our sex life. It’s just that the fireworks ceased in the bedroom long ago. In their place, we have developed something resembling embarrassment.’
So what sorts of seductions do Betty and Herbert engage in exactly? Well, they’re a very mixed bag of sweets. The very first seduction, for example, involves Betty creating a ‘first date’ scenario in which she meets Herbert for drinks and dinner at their local pub (‘Our first seduction probably looks fairly tame for a couple who have fundamentally had sex before, but you have to bear in mind that we’re starting from a pretty low base’) but later seductions explore more interesting fare: remote controlled vibrators, vajazzling, anal sex and, very amusingly, a call to a phone-sex line:
‘The wonders of advanced capitalism are making it possible for me to hive off a particularly tiresome element of my sexual duties [talking dirty]. Excellent. Worth every penny of the fiver it’s going to put on my phone bill.’
Some of the seductions do little for Betty and Herbert (and me, for that matter) but others are completely charming and sexy in their conception and execution and it’s delightful when the couple discover a seduction that they both enjoy. One thing Betty does so nicely is to highlight the love that is fundamentally present in all her encounters with her husband. The fact that they’re both willing to be open-minded and explore the suggestions of the other is hugely refreshing, despite the obvious pushing of their individual comfort zones (the awkwardness of the foot fetish role-play had me in stitches, to the point that I spat coffee all over the carpet). How often do we get to see women rediscovering and reconnecting with their partners in realistic ways? Heck, I love an erotic romance as much as the next woman, and I’m absolutely willing to read outside the heterosexual, missionary, one-man-one-woman box. But for us flesh-and-blood ladies, I would suggest that non-fiction stories that explore the emotional connections between real people can be very powerful. The 52 Seductions isn’t fanciful or unrealistic – and it’s so compelling because of it. Of course there is going to be awkwardness when you suggest something completely left-field to a long-term partner. Of course it’s going to be challenge to keep your relationship fresh and new over a period of years.
‘It’s scary to reveal the passion that writhes underneath your sensible, predictable self, but it’s exhilarating too. The beauty of that revelation is that it cuts through the cosiness of marriage, and means that sex can continue to be exciting long after the first flush. We just both have to be willing to surrender, to look each other in the eye. That is true intimacy.’
The one thing that detracted from the book for me? The in-depth coverage of Betty’s gynaecological issues, which are interspersed between the various seductions. Don’t get me wrong, I had no problem with the content – I am all for highlighting issues with women’s healthcare and I could see how they affected the seductions themselves – but their inclusion was on the heavy side. To the point where I felt that they warranted a book in their own right.
While The 52 Seductions didn’t make me want to jump my husband – it was a bit too real and practical to sweep me away – it did make me consider certain aspects of our relationship. This is a lovely read for those in long-term partnerships and I hazard that it will impart more than a little inspiration in relation to, er, extra-curricular activities.
The 52 Seductions is available from: Amazon.co.uk (paperback ; Kindle), Amazon.com (paperback ; Kindle), Barnes & Noble (paperback), Kobo (eBook).
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