Ironically, I adore the taste of vanilla. I must confess, though, that I don’t really like the term as it’s applied to sexuality. To me, it suggests that those who aren’t kinky are engaging in ‘plain’ or ‘run-of-the-mill’ sex – and that, in my opinion, is just wrong.
Sex is fundamentally about pleasure and, whatever your ‘flavour’, if the sex you’re having leaves you happy, fulfilled and satisfied, it should never ever be considered boring.
What are your thoughts on the word vanilla? Do you, like me, think it has negative connotations or do you see its application as positive? And if you were to (very loosely!) base your sexuality on a specific flavour, what would it be and why?
I tend not to think too hard about some of the labels in use. The same with ‘vanilla’. To me it’s just a way of describing something, but that doesn’t mean I see it in a negative light or that vanilla sex means that it’s boring sex. It’s just a word to me. And a word for yummy ice cream too
Rebel xox
Yes, I think there’s a definite danger in labels being too restrictive and prescriptive. Per John’s comment below, I’d say that most of us would identify with the idea that we’re a mixture of ‘flavours’, i.e. we’re not just one thing. Maybe I’ve thought about the word ‘vanilla’ a bit too much but I just can’t seem to get past the connotations of ‘plain-ness’ it suggests. I think I’d feel much happier with those not into kink being described as ‘raspberry ripple’ or ‘chocolate’, for example!
Jane xxx
I try to not think too much of the literal meaning behind labels we use. I do geocaching and non geocachers are “muggles.” When I am a naturist, non-naked types are “textiles” or “cotton-tails” … and so on. I don’t see it as being particularly derogatory, just a term coined to denote that those people don’t share the pastime I engage in.
I am aware that I am also a myriad of other terms to other groups too. But that’s fine … I don’t mind that.
And vanilla: not really for me. I don’t mind it, but i much prefer toffee, fudge, raspberry, etc
I love that you describe yourself as a mixture of flavours. I think this perfectly illustrates that sexuality is a complex and multi-facetted thing. Jane xxx
My favourite is vanilla too . . . ice cream that is!!!
And yes I’ve always wondered why it sometimes seems (in a sexual context) to be used to imply boring. But as both Marie and John mentioned, I think we shouldn’t place any importance on other peoples labels. I suppose I’d be labelled as “neopolitan” . . . but ironically that’s my least favourite ice cream flavour.
Oh, and p.s. totally off-topic, Hubby always shouts “Tip Top” as we approach that corner on his southern motorway! (I sigh loudly then, but your picture made me laugh out loud as soon as I saw it!!!)
Xxx – K
Xxx – K
Lol! Tip Top corner! I know it well! Jane xxx
Where you listening to our conversation over dinner the other night with Remittance Girl? We had a long chat about this…. and so I feel like I have to write more than just this comment on the subject but, in the meantime, I will leave you with Michael’s suggestion on the matter which is that we should stop using the term Vanilla as it totally misleading and instead call them KIPpers.. Kink Impaired People/Person….. well he thinks it is funny
Mollyxxx
Thoroughly intrigued and really interested to read your thoughts on the ‘v’ word. KIPpers?! Oh, my goodness. Sounds fishy to me!
Jane xxx
Interesting way to look at the word “Vanilla.”
And i do like the way you see it. I wouldn’t say it’s all negative, but agree with your opinion about sex & being happy, etc.