Tag: erotic

12

Five-minute erotica: Frostbite

Image: Ivje, Godvisna (own work)

So, the days are getting colder and the chill is starting to set in. Need to warm up quickly? I have just the thing …

Frostbite is an erotic short story I penned a few weeks ago following a fabulous (sedate!) walk in the English countryside: A woman, walking by herself on a desolate, frosty footpath, is taken by surprise when a man steps from the trees in front of her. They’re alone, it’s bitterly cold, and night is falling. It sounds like the beginning of a nightmare – but is it?

I really enjoyed writing Frostbite and it seems now’s the time to post it, given that winter’s bearing down on us with a vengeance.

If I get the time – and provided they’re popular enough – I’ll try and write more of these ‘five minute’ shorts going forwards.

IMPORTANT: Please note that this story is a work of fiction and contains explicit sexual content and elements of dubious consent. If such material offends you or you are under the age of 18, please don’t read any further. Continue reading →

05

Hiatus

We’re taking a bit of a break this week, so there won’t be any new posts until Monday 12 November. If you’re new to Behind the Chintz Curtain and want to know what we’re all about (or you haven’t stopped by in a while), here’s a selection of last month’s most popular posts:

 

TOYS

Continue reading →

12

Alert me: love and text, penis pump theft, and a S.E.C.R.E.T. society

Once again, my link round-up (which I’ve now decided to call ‘Alert Me’) schedule is a bit out of whack. Sorry about that. But I have finally managed to filter through the Google nuggets I’ve received this week and pull out the ones I think are most amusing and interesting: SMS love, penis pumps, and the ‘Canadian Fifty Shades of Grey’. Enjoy.

 

Modern romance for Generation Text, showcased on HeTexted.com
Source: www.guardian.co.uk

 

‘ … we should probably be grateful that John Donne didn’t have BlackBerry Messenger back in 1600. Would our great romantic poets have troubled themselves with erotic odes of seduction if they had SMS or Twitter to hand? In Donne’s case I suspect probably he would, whereas, much as I revere him, I have a strong feeling that Robert Burns would have simply sent a photo of his penis instead … ’

 

So it seems that the finger (rather than the pen) is the sword of modern romance. This article by Ally Fogg of guardian.co.uk takes a humorous look at the culture of text messaging and its role in confusing those embarking (or not embarking, as the case me be) on fledgling relationships. Included, an excellent reference to Robbie Burns’ bawdy poem Nine Inch will Please a Lady and a discourse on the website HeTexted.com, whose aim is to ‘decode’ text messages sent to women by guys who may or may not be interested in them. Warning: difficult to stop yourself looking at the HeTexted.com text messages once you start! Continue reading →

31

Dirty weekend

I’m frustrated.

The Internet, for the first time ever it seems, is letting me down. I want a dirty night away with my other half. And do you think I can find a hotel that fits the bill? That would be a resounding ‘No’.

There’s nothing better than some time alone with a partner, away from the stresses of work and family life. It gives you the opportunity to focus solely on each other and remember ‘who you are’ as a couple – something that’s very easy to forget when you’re both exhausted from long hours in the office and bringing up young children. In fact, I’d go as far as to say one-on-one time is essential for a healthy and fulfilling relationship, especially post-kids. We adore ours more than anything but every once in a while it’s nice to just be with each other and talk about something other than homework and swimming lessons. To play a game doesn’t involve getting four counters of the same colour in a row or extracting plastic snot from a buzzing hospital patient. To not have to remember to bolt the bedroom door and keep the noise down when we’re having sex. To let ourselves go. Continue reading →