As requested, a new instalment in the My Life in Books series. I know I’ve been promising one of these for a while now but I had to think on the best way to write them going forwards as the initial idea was to do the two age-slash-milestone-book posts and leave it at that. At last, I think I’ve come up with something you might enjoy, so (cue drumroll) … may I present My Life in Books (Part Three): Wild Men.

As you may have deduced from the title, this entry focuses on a type of fictional hero I have a particular soft spot for: one who can build a tent out of a handkerchief, catch a fish with a shoelace, and ride a horse upside down. Oh, and burn the sheets up (of course). These choices aren’t erotic so much as romantic, but I’m an absolute sucker for a good love story and make no apology for it.

Only His – Elizabeth Lowell

Warning! This is total romantic schmaltz and has all the stereotypical cheese one would expect from this type of book:

Angry Alpha hero? Check.

Naïve virginal heroine? Present.

Improbable plot? Oh, ho ho, yes.

In fact, this scathing Publisher’s Weekly review from 1991 sums it up pretty well:

‘In this tedious historical romance, Lowell (Tell Me No Lies) gives barely enough plot to keep a short story moving. Willow Moran, a West Virginian who lost her parents and most of her possessions during the Civil War, is traveling west with her remaining valuables—five Arabian horses—to find her brother Matt, who is prospecting for gold. Her guide from Denver to the San Juan mountains is former Army scout Caleb Black who, unbeknownst to Willow, also is hunting Matt; on her deathbed, after bearing an illegitimate baby, Caleb’s sister named Matt as her seducer. The largely uneventful journey, complicated only by ruffians who are pursuing them (to steal Willow’s horses and finish a fight begun in Denver with Caleb), occupies a substantial portion of the book: Willow and Caleb spend much of their time riding, eating and lusting after each other. By the time the hero, ”with a silent curse at his unruly desires,” indulges in yet another assessment of the heroine, wondering ”how her hair would feel spilling over his naked skin, ” the reader is likely to be silently cursing right along with him—and brother Matt isn’t even close to being on the horizon.’

 – Copyright 1991 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

So why on earth did I like it so much? Because it is epically enjoyable in all its sugary, schmaltzy ridiculousness, of course! Not only is Caleb’s hardness wonderfully hot – his character, not his penis, you dirty-minded individuals (although that particular bit of wood does make a, er, firm appearance) – but the landscape in which all this carry-on takes place is beautifully rendered by the author. The sex is very, very tame (and it does take Caleb and Willow absolutely ages to get it on with one another) but despite its relative chasteness and unrealistically perfect execution, it’s surprisingly enjoyable when it does eventually make an appearance.

In summary: 1990s-style Alpha hero who can ride a horse, deflower virgins with aplomb, and shoot a six-gun like no one’s business. Continue reading →