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Some intriguing free eBooks on the list this week. Like the idea of being bought low by an Alpha male? Oh, ho-ho. Stainless steel toys your thing? Do read on …

 

EBOOKS

*The following books were listed as free at the time of this post’s publication. Please double-check that that’s still the case before you hit the download button.

 

The Lady Submits – Chloe Cox

The Lady Submits

Loving the premise of this one. (The warning is more of an incitement to read, as far as I’m concerned!)

‘Sometimes a highborn Lady needs to be brought low…

It’s the decadent, raunchy holiday of Bacchanal, and the Lady Lucrezia Grimaldi cannot find a man to satisfy her. Worse, she’s been saddled with the brutish Carlo Castellan as her bodyguard for the last night of Bacchanal. There’s only one thing to do: escape to the fabled House of the Severille…

The imperious Lady Lucrezia expects to sate herself by dominating some poor house slave. What she gets instead is the harsh touch of a Severille Master who will stop at nothing to make the Lady submit. 

The Lady Submits is a 12,000 word erotic historical fantasy novelette featuring strong BDSM themes. If you don’t like bondage, leashes, public display and humiliation, or alpha male doms who brook no dissent, then this probably isn’t for you.’ Continue reading

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Time for the Friday freebie and discount thread, Sexy on a Budget.

Just a quick note before we get into it … I’ve tried to pick eBooks, for the most part, that sound like they’ve actually been written by people with a basic grasp of spelling, syntax, and grammar but sincere apologies in advance if you end up with something that appears to have been written in crayon by a six-year-old. That said, these titles are all free (or were at the time of listing), so if they’re utter rubbish, you’ll have lost absolutely nothing by downloading them except space on your eReader. And maybe a few brain cells.

 

FREE EBOOKS

*Please note that all of the below were free at the time of this post’s publication but pricing can change at any time. To that end, please double-check that the prices are still at zero before you start downloading.

 

Out of the Shadows – Senta Holland

Out of the Shadows

According to the blurb, this is one for those who enjoyed The Secret Diary of a Submissive.

‘A deeply felt and superbly written BDSM love story, Senta Holland’s ‘Out of the Shadows’ explores the beautiful darkness in seven bedrooms.

Senta, a thirty something Londoner, travels around the planet looking for the man who can match her. The one she finds is her ‘Nai’, a high society American in Asia.

Senta’s story is both complicated and made more exciting by the fact that it unfolds in the dark world of BDSM, a world that can be hostile to single, independent females.

Highly erotic, deeply romantic and insightful this book shows the BDSM experience from the inside out, as reality, not just fantasy.’ Continue reading

07

Reading is an expensive hobby. A romance here, an erotica there … If you have  bit of a book addiction, like me, the costs soon add up. And that evil thing, the eReader, doesn’t exactly help. I can’t tell you how many times something shiny has caught my eye in an online bookstore – something I had no intention of reading – and I’ve subsequently found myself stabbing merrily away at the ‘download now’ button.

Similarly, keeping the toy box interesting can leave a pretty serious ding in the old bank account. I don’t tend to buy vibrators and dildos at the same rate I buy books (I doubt I’d be able to stand upright if I did!) but, even so, the good stuff is never particularly cheap.

So in the spirit of preventing whacking great reading bills and giving you frugal orgasms, I thought I’d compile a list of current deals and freebies. I’m going to try and do this every Friday, if I can – so if you fancy a little something for the weekend you’ll (hopefully!) be able to find a book or toy that won’t break the budget.

 

FREE EBOOKS

*Please note that all of the below were free at the time of this post’s publication but pricing can change at any time. To that end, please double-check that the prices are still at zero before you start downloading. Continue reading

06

Video clips galore, reading to lose weight, and the power of the free ebook excerpt. Consider yourselves alerted.

 

Romance Novel Reader Workout III
Source: Smart Bitches Trashy Books

Read sex scenes and lose weight!

Oh dear, God, but this idea is brilliant. I came across the Romance Novel Reader Workout III post via the @SmartBitches Twitter feed and it made me grin from ear-to-ear. The premise? Every time a romance novel cliché  is mentioned, you do a specific sort of exercise. Genius. Although I was really confused about what a ‘V-up’ was. Turns out, it’s a type of stomach crunch invented by the Devil himself. Smart Bitch Sarah was kind enough to send me a clip of what one actually entailed:

 

 

Yeah, I really hope I don’t come across any penises likened to ‘velvet’, ‘silk’ or ‘steel’ in the next few books I read. My torso will be in a state of paralysis.

To date, the Smart Bitches have devised three Romance Novel Reader Workouts – you can find the previous two here and here – so you’ll have plenty of different exercises to try out as you come across virgin heroines and fruit-like nipples. Continue reading

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In this week’s Alert Me: BDSM with chicken (no, I’m not making that up), a new eBook subscription service, and a sudden surge in Canadian sex toy sales.

 

Fifty Shades of Chicken
Source: http://www.fiftyshadesofchicken.com/

 

‘Pro-tip: Spatchcocked or trussed? Depends on how sarcastic your chicken has been.’

 

Thanks to author Andrew Shaffer (@andrewtshaffer), I am now following erotic poultry on Twitter (@50ShadesChicken) and considering buying a BDSM chicken cookbook. Clearly, I’m plucked. Continue reading

29

Fancy yourself as an erotic author? Well, get your skates on. The deadline for entry into Black Lace’s short story competition is tomorrow, Tuesday 31 October. Judged by Black Lace authors Portia Da Costa and Kristina Lloyd, and the imprint’s editorial director, Gillian Green, the winning tale will be published as part of an erotic eBook collection.

I’ve long been a fan of Black Lace and was one of the many despondent readers who mourned the news that its list was to be put on ice back in 2009. Thankfully, Fifty Shades of Grey has changed the erotica landscape and Black Lace is well and truly back. (Hooray!) If you’ve not come across this publisher before, you can find most of their titles on Amazon. (Their Quickies collections are fabulous but there are plenty of full-length stories on offer, too.) Continue reading

22

In this week’s Alert Me: YouTube funnies (NSFW), dildo use gone horribly (horribly) wrong, and a good news for Avon readers.

 

Soft Core: Why Do Sex Toy Makers Have Such Horrible Videos?
Source: http://techcrunch.com/

If you’re having a bad day, I guarantee this link will cheer you up. The title of Jordan Crook’s article is pretty self-explanatory; YouTube promo videos from various sex toy manufacturers looked over with a blunt, comedic eye.

From Vibease’s Personal Massager (for God’s sake, call it what it is, people – a vibrator!) that runs off your Android phone, to the JimmyJane Form 6 (which is waved around like a mime prop by a pair of creepy white gloves), this Tech Crunch offering made my morning. And for all those fans of air guitar, get ready to rock out with OhMiBod’s one-woman vibrator rock-concert.

On a slightly more serious note, this article touches on the growing number of Bluetooth enabled sex toys. I’ve got my eye on this trend … Continue reading

26

A sex app, the re-birth of Erotica U.K., and using social media to help promote eBooks. Hope you enjoy this week’s link round-up.

 

Synchronized iPhone Sex Toy Makes Long Distance Relationships Even More Awkward

Source: http://betabeat.com/ 

You can now have sex with your mobile. No, your iPhone 5 hasn’t suddenly sprouted an appendage (or a tunnel-like recess); rather LovePalz, a U.S. company, has invented an app for your phone that controls their own-brand sex toys. Per their website:

 

LovePalz is a brand new concept of motion sensing technology that aims to create physical feelings as real as possible in virtual sex experience. It can simulate your actions and cause physical contact over internet in real time. Through our service, you and your lover each hold one device and as long as you remain connected to the internet, the device automatically senses your actions and conveys them to your partner’s toy! In short, how you use it is simultaneously reflected on your lover’s toy, physically! bringing you and your lover together even when you are miles apart.

 

For crying out loud, people. Really? What happened to good old-fashioned phone sex and inappropriate Instagram pictures? As Beta Beat’s Jessica Roy aptly points out: ‘It’s almost like you’ll never have to have sex with a real person again. Thanks, LovePalz!’ And don’t even get me started on the narcissistic sex toy names, ‘Zeus’ and ‘Hera’. Greek gods indeed. It’s all thunder and pomegranates until your 3G connection craps out at a critical moment. Continue reading

03

Chintz has been an idea in my head for a very long time and I’m so excited to finally be welcoming you all ‘behind the curtain’.

I’ve always adored books and have been an avid reader throughout my life. And I’m fascinated by just about all forms of writing – books, blogs, newspapers, the labels on cleaning products … You name it. If it’s got text on it, I want to pick it up and read it.

While I can’t remember how old I was at the time, I can vividly remember my first-ever encounter with a book that hinted at sex and sexuality. It was called Brown Cows (unfortunately, no longer in print) and etched forever in my brain is a scene in which a boy is given the opportunity to touch a girl’s breast for the first time. Despite the fact that the moment portrayed was actually quite emotionally awkward, it was something of an awakening for me and from that moment on I began to seek out and take notice of sex and relationships in the books I was reading.

Fast-forward to my teens and the discovery of the 80s ‘bonk busters’ on my mother’s bedside table (think Judith Krantz, Jilly Cooper and Jackie Collins), which resulted in me lying in bed for hours on Saturday and Sunday mornings, practically inhaling the words from the pages and being at once fascinated and slightly horrified by the sexual antics of the characters (why would anyone put THAT in their mouth?!). With a few more years on the clock and a bit more maturity, however, the shock factor I’d initially experienced was considerably lessened and I began to enjoy some much deeper, more edgy erotica and romance titles, ineffectually hiding the ones with the raunchier covers from casual passers-by by bending the front covers backwards against the bodies of the books. (God bless eReaders.) Continue reading