Words

Looking for something to read? The Words section contains Alert Me news posts, book reviews, and Jane’s erotic stories. To view a complete list of all our reviews, or navigate to the writing you want quickly, please visit the Words Index.)

Free reads disclaimer: if you’re at all offended by naughty language, sex in positions other than missionary, non-vanilla sexual practices (including but not limited to those that involve the use of dairy products or gluten) and general sauciness, steer well clear. Do not pass go, do not collect £200. You’ve been warned!

07

Sexy on a Budget: freebies and discounts

Reading is an expensive hobby. A romance here, an erotica there … If you have  bit of a book addiction, like me, the costs soon add up. And that evil thing, the eReader, doesn’t exactly help. I can’t tell you how many times something shiny has caught my eye in an online bookstore – something I had no intention of reading – and I’ve subsequently found myself stabbing merrily away at the ‘download now’ button.

Similarly, keeping the toy box interesting can leave a pretty serious ding in the old bank account. I don’t tend to buy vibrators and dildos at the same rate I buy books (I doubt I’d be able to stand upright if I did!) but, even so, the good stuff is never particularly cheap.

So in the spirit of preventing whacking great reading bills and giving you frugal orgasms, I thought I’d compile a list of current deals and freebies. I’m going to try and do this every Friday, if I can – so if you fancy a little something for the weekend you’ll (hopefully!) be able to find a book or toy that won’t break the budget.

 

FREE EBOOKS

*Please note that all of the below were free at the time of this post’s publication but pricing can change at any time. To that end, please double-check that the prices are still at zero before you start downloading. Continue reading →

05

Wicked Wednesday: Let’s party!

Love, exciting and new ...Today, Marie Rebelle’s wonderful Wicked Wednesday meme, which gives bloggers a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked, is celebrating its first birthday! Hooray! Congratulations Marie! And what better topic to celebrate this milestone than ‘party’?

Anyone who knows me will tell you that I really enjoy letting my hair down; there’s nothing quite like chatting, laughing, dancing and generally having a good time with a load of like-minded sorts. In my salad days (God, I sound ancient, don’t I?), I partied a fair bit, but now that I have a family and live in a fairly rural part of England, I’m a little more sedate. Well, most of the time at least :-) .

So I’ve been wracking my brain and trying to think if I’ve ever done anything outrageously sexy at a party (it is Wicked Wednesday, after all) but I honestly can’t recall an occasion that I was particularly wanton at a social event. What can I say? I have chintz curtains – and more than a few square edges! In any case, just to prove that I’m not a complete recluse, I thought I’d compile a little catalogue of some of the best and/or most unusual parties I’ve been to over the years … Continue reading →

04

This Is Who I Am – Cherise Sinclair

This Is Who I Am - Cherise SinclairTitle: This Is Who I Am (Shadowlands Book 7)
Author: Cherise Sinclair
Publisher: Loose Id LLC (27 May 2013)
ISBN: 978-1-62300-148-3
Reviewer(s): Michael & Jane

 

This joint review was a no-brainer for us. Michael and I are both big fans of Cherise Sinclair and it’s fair to say that we were both gagging to read this latest instalment in her Shadowlands series. When I suggested to him that This Is Who I Am should be our next project?

 

@Jane: I have been looking forward to that book for over a year:

‘”I won’t scar you. I won’t go past when you can take. If you can trust me that far, this will be much easier for you.” He met her eyes straight on, letting her read his body, hear the truth, and see it in his face. “But, Linda, I’m going to hurt you. You’ll hate me when I make you take it, and you’ll hate even more that you need it. That it fills that hole inside you and cleans away the clutter.”‘

(To Command and Collar (Shadowlands Book 6))

 

@Michael: CANNOT WAIT for Sam. And DeVries from Dark Haven. They both scare and tempt at the same time … *sigh*

 

Yep, we were pushing the download button on release day.

Did it live up to our expectations? Continue reading →

29

Silence

Yep, I know it’s been nearly a week since the last Chintz post. Sorry ’bout that. I’m currently at the mercy of Half-term and a rather interesting writing project that kicked off a few weeks ago. In other words, updates over the next few days are going to continue to be sporadic. Lest you think that I’m swanning about in my underpants in front of the T.V. and eating chocolate, however, let me assure you that there is stuff going on behind the florals: Michael and I have just finished another joint-read (Cherise Sinclair’s This is Who I Am), I’m currently drafting another My Life in Books entry as well as some additional reviews, and there are two toys of the vibrating variety currently being put through their paces for the Toy Box.

So it’s busy silence. Honestly!

Jane
xxx

 

21

The Compound – Claire Thompson

Title: The Compound
Author: Claire Thompson
Publisher: Romance Unbound Publishing (30 Jan 2013)
ISBN: 978-1482302493
Reviewer(s): Michael & Jane

 

Bondage! BDSM! The Beatles! And, no, that last one’s not a typo. In this joint review of The Compound, Michael and I get a bit rock ‘n’ roll. (I know, I know, I know. Just go with it.)

*Proceed with caution: spoilers ahoy-hoy

 

JANE’S TAKE …

 

 

Completely confused by the presence of the Fab Four in this review? Don’t worry, all will become clear as mud, I promise. Continue reading →

15

My Life in Books (Part Two)

My Reading Life (Part Two)

On Monday, we covered the books that, for various reasons, had some sort of influence on the first two decades of my life. In this post, I’m going to be looking at titles that have managed to stick a literary stake in me post-twenty through to the present day. (For those who’re curious I’m thirty-five, so this particular batch spans a fifteen-year period.)

Again, a really mixed bag, although my penchant for grit and darkness is, I think, far more evident in this group. Surprisingly, there are a number of YA books in the line-up; not sure whether that’s because I’m completely ambivalent when it comes to ‘recommended age group’ ratings or a sign that I’m desperately trying to have a second childhood. I’ll let you decide. Continue reading →

13

My Life in Books (Part One)

Till We Meet Again

The weekend before last, I went to a fete in a small village not far from where I live. It was a typically English affair; loads of families with dogs, stalls groaning with plants, tables laden with household bric-a-brac (mismatched teacups, weird porcelain figures and squat glassware), cottage industry craftsmen and women selling handmade jewellery, soaps and cheeses. I had a great time wandering about chatting to people I knew, eating ice cream and watching the various entertainers perform, including a rather fabulous fire juggler. But the best thing about that fete for me? The attraction that held me for absolutely ages? The stand filled with used books.

Secondhand bookshops and stalls, to me, are the most seductive of creatures. I spot one and it’s a pretty safe bet that you’ll not get a coherent sentence or any sort of conversation out of me until I’ve picked through every rack, box and shelf at least twice – and then a third time to make sure I’ve not missed out on something marvellous that’s been hiding in plain sight. Needless to say, I walked away from that fete with a bagful of paper treasures and, of all things, ‘browsing sunburn’. (Yep, the great golden orb was actually out that day. Virtually unheard of in Britain because if there’s one thing you can count on in this country, it’s that any outdoor event you host or attend will be drizzled, rained and poured upon.)

What did I buy? A load of children’s books, including a vintage copy of Stig of the Dump, and a very tatty but lovely interpretation of Jack and the Beanstalk. The pre-loved gem that pleased me most, though? A dog-eared copy of Judith Krantz’s Till We Meet Again.

What?! I hear you say. Eighties bonk-buster trash? Jane! How could you? Continue reading →

08

Wicked Wednesday: My No

No

*Can’t read the minuscule copy? Me neither! Click on the image to make it bigger.

For me, personally, the word ‘no’ doesn’t work in quite the same way within the bedroom as it does outside of it. Oh, it still exists all right – it just takes on a different form, wears a different set of clothes. The bulk of its clout is transferred, temporarily, to another combination of letters. In my case ‘red’ – and this is what the above poem would look like if I used it: Continue reading →

02

Alert Me: BDSM meets My Little Pony, the oldest romantic, and kinky cake

In today’s Alert Me, themed BDSM implements, a totally groovy granny, and some very interesting cake decorations …

 

Star Wars BDSM toys from a kinky galaxy far, far away
Source: io9.com

Attention kinky sci-fi fans! Tying up getting a bit terrestrial? Need some fantasy to go with your fetish? Well, go and check out Geek Kink’s incredibly interesting little shop on Etsy. Sith-inspired paddles. Darth Vader lightsabre floggers … Everything you need, really, to go to the Dark Side. No Princess Leia in chains though; you may have to supply her yourself. And if Star Wars isn’t your bag, panic not. You can always go for a Super Mario cane or a My Little Pony paddle (!).

NB: ten points to Geek Kink for his shop tag line: ‘These are the toys you’re looking for’.

 

The oldest romance writer in the world
Source: The New Zealand Herald

I really enjoyed reading this article about 105-year-old Ida Pollock who is, apparently, the oldest living romance writer in the world. Go her. But the thing I liked even more? The accompanying YouTube clip. Cracked me up no end. There’s an incredibly entertaining discourse about the merits of French, Austrian and English heroes. And very emphatic use of the word ‘What?!’ by Ida every so often. Sweet and hilarious all at the same time.

 

James Franco Gets Sex-Toy Birthday Cake and an Award at Miami LGBT Film Festival
Source: E! Online U.K.

 

‘I’d like a piece with the ball gag on it, please.’

 

A strap-on. A ball gag. Anal beads. A flogger. Nope, I’m not talking about sex toys (well, not real ones) but the decorations on actor James Franco’s birthday cake. The sort that aren’t likely available in the baking aisle at Sainsbury’s. You can just imagine everyone eating a slice of this beauty after the candles have been blown out, can’t you? (‘Try the strap-on. It’s delicious!’) I’m not sure I’d be able to get my head around eating anal beads, though – even if they were made of sugar! :-/

 

26

Breaking the Rules, Bloom – Kate Belle

Breaking the Rules, BloomTitle(s): Breaking the Rules, Bloom (Master of Love)
Author: Kate Belle
Publisher: Random House Australia (02 January 2013)
ISBN(s): Breaking the Rules – 9781742758343; Bloom – 9781742758350
Reviewer(s): Michael & Jane

 

Take three!

In our third joint-review outing, Michael and I debate the motivations of the supremely debonair Ramon from Kate Belle’s Master of Love series. I suspect he and Sting have been hanging out together a fair bit; Michael’s trying to decide how he’d look with a pair of Eros wings.

Now, if someone would just lend us the Sorting Hat …

 

MICHAEL’S TAKE

What can I say about Ramon Mendez?

Men want to be him. Women want to be with him. He’s working on a Ph.D. in Women’s Sexuality – only he isn’t a woman. He puts ladies through a real workout – without them even taking off their clothes.

And Dude’s a Rule Breaker. If he wants to be with a woman, he finds a way. It doesn’t matter if she is in a position of authority over him, like his College Adviser, or one of his students in a mid-morning fitness class. If he sees something he likes, he doesn’t hesitate. Continue reading →