What we used: Durex Deluxe condoms
Manufacturer: Durex
Price: £8.60 – £9.99 for a pack of 5
Material(s): straight-walled polyurethane, non-spermicidal lubricant
At nearly £2.00 per condom, are Durex’s new Deluxe condoms all they’re cracked up to be? Thomas gives us his verdict.
First thoughts …
Thomas
I’ll be totally honest. Condoms are not my favourite sexual aid by a long shot. They fall into the category of ‘necessary evil’ but as STIs are with us for the foreseeable future, they are the best barriers to infection. As a rule, I always take the words ‘Ultimate’, ‘Ultra’, ‘Super’, and ‘Ultra-mega-f**king-amazing’, etc., with a large (large) pinch of salt when I see them applied to condoms. That fact is they all involve sticking a plastic bag over your willy, which is not terribly erotic, and they certainly don’t heighten any sensations, despite what some ribbed brands may say.
The packaging …
Thomas
A bit of a let down really. A silver cardboard box that opens on the side not the top (wow) and has ‘Deluxe’ written on it in large letters (so you know you’re about to part with a chunk of cash). The condoms are billed as ‘micro fine’ (that means thin) and ‘crystal clear’. I have no idea why the latter is important: I have never considered one of the prime features of a condom to be the ability to see my penis through it.
The actual wrapping of the condoms themselves is the main surprise; their ‘designer cases’ are disturbingly like the little tubs you get butter in when you have breakfast at a cheap hotel. I am not sure what to make of this – maybe Durex have been watching too much Last Tango in Paris and this is some kind of in-joke in their marketing department (don’t get them mixed up – either way it could lead to all types of embarrassment). At over a pound each I was hoping for the ‘designer’ case to be constructed from hand-tooled leather, but that was bit optimistic.
The up side, though, is that the I Can’t Believe it’s Not Butter containers are easy to open when you’re fumbling around in the dark with lube on your hands. Trying to get a grip on regular condom packets so you can tear them open can be damn near impossible and resorting to using your teeth, etc., is both unpleasant and potentially disastrous nine months later should you happen to take a bite out of the condom as well. The Durex Deluxe cases are also way more sturdy than the foil sachets most condoms come in, too, and should last a whole lot better as well. (The rage you feel when you find your very last one at the bottom of your bedside cabinet and it fails when you open it is hard to put into words.)
Putting them on …
Thomas
Once out of the wrapper they’re bloody stiff little buggers. The ring at the top of the condom is incredibly inflexible and getting it on requires more force than you would think possible to roll a bit of plastic down your shaft, especially to start with. If you’re built like Dirk Diggler I’m not sure you’d actually be able to get these on. There’s a bit of give, but not much. When they’re actually in position, though, all is well and the tightness isn’t an issue.
What they feel like ‘in use’ …
Thomas
Like a very, very thin plastic bag on your willy. Yes, they do feel better than other condoms I’ve tried and I would rate them the best I have used in terms of ‘vaginal feel’ but let’s be honest: you are still putting a plastic bag on your penis. Don’t expect miracles.
Any downsides?
Thomas
Possible butter confusion? They are really hard to roll on but with practise I’m sure this could be overcome, so long as you’re not endowed with a mammoth apendage.
The verdict?
Thomas
Although Durex Deluxe condoms aren’t easy to use, I’ll continue to buy them in the future. They do cost quite a bit but, hey, I can feel more through them and every little bit helps.
In summary
Things I like:
- Easy-open case. Reduces fumbling and frustration;
- Very thin with good ‘internal sensation transmission performance’;
- Suitable for people with latex allergies as they’re made from polyurethane.
Things I’m not so keen on:
- They’re really hard to get on. I’ve had a lot of practise and even I found these difficult;
- Likely to be a problem for those with very large firemen. (Lizzie tells me I’m slightly above average, bless her, and I did manage but there was a fair amount of force involved.)
- Condiment-style packaging;
- The cost.
Tickle your fancy? You can buy Durex Deluxe condoms from Sainsbury’s and Boots.
