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05

Straits Academy – Alice Liddell

Title: Straits Academy
Author: Alice Liddell
Publisher: Blushing Books (29 September 2012)
ISBN: 9781609688363

A novel of punishment, pleasure and intrigue set against the exotic backdrop of 1920s Singapore, Straits Academy will almost certainly appeal to those with a penchant for sexual discipline. I was really intrigued by this book’s synopsis – I’ve not come across many contemporary erotic novels set in the early twentieth century – and the promise of crops and correction within the context of a colonial girls’ boarding school was too much to resist.

In the first few pages of Straits Academy, we are introduced to our intrepid heroine, Adelaide Hartley (Addy), as her boat makes its way into Singapore harbour; she is excited about meeting her new fiancé, Arthur Fitz-Bowman, after a long-distance courtship and looking forward to the prospect of embarking on a new life in a foreign country. Her joyous anticipation quickly fades, however, in the face of the news that her future husband has been murdered – possibly as a direct result of an opium smuggling investigation he was conducting at the time of his death. Mr Thomas Drake, the man responsible for delivering Adelaide an account of the terrible event, suspects that his murder – and the smuggling – is somehow tied to the beautiful Madame Ong who runs a well-known girls’ boarding school, Straits Academy. A close friend of the deceased, he has been doing his utmost to solve the mystery surrounding his acquaintance’s untimely death. Yet as he speaks with Adelaide (who despite her age of twenty-two years resembles, in stature, a teenage girl) he is struck by a somewhat unconventional idea that results in an even more outlandish proposal: will she consider posing as his niece and attending Straits Academy in an attempt to glean information about Arthur’s murder? To his surprise, Addy  agrees to his suggestion – and thus begins a wonderful tale of raised school dresses, lowered drawers and very pink bottoms. Continue reading →

04

The Wartenberg pinwheel: the sharp edge of sensation play

What we used: Wartenberg pinwheel
From: Bondara
Price: £8.99
Material(s): Stainless steel

The Wartenberg pinwheel, while originally invented as a medical device for neurological use has become something of a BDSM staple over the years. So what does one feel like? Should you be afraid of those rather sharp looking spikes? Lizzie and Thomas find out.

 

First thoughts …

Lizzie
I’ve wanted to try a Wartenberg pinwheel for ages but, for various reasons, Thomas and I just never seemed to get around to purchasing one. As you’ve probably gathered from my previous toy reviews, I’m not averse to a bit of pain during sex but, on balance, my experience runs to impact and pressure toys (such as floggers, paddles and clamps), so anything sharp has the power to make me shiver a little. Continue reading →

03

A floral milestone

I can’t quite believe it but Behind the Chintz Curtain has been live for three months as of today.

Nearly 3,000 of you have visited since the first post went up and every day, more and more of you stop by. So a massive ‘thank you’ to all my regulars, and a warm ‘hello’ to those who are here for the first time.

Sixty posts in (this is number sixty one) and guess what the most popular entry has been so far? No real surprise – it’s Lizzie’s Fifty Shades of Grey-inspired review of jiggle balls, which is sitting at the top of the pile with over 500 pageviews. But I think E.L. James’s ben was may be in for a bit of competition; also making appearances in the top ten, C is for clitoris, c is for clip and the wonderfully erotic Victorian birching story, Uncle Charles’ Girls by Anne Randolph. (Clearly, there’s call for more toys in the Toy Box and some red-bottomed literature!) Continue reading →

02

Yes, Sir (Erotic Stories of Female Submission) – Rachel Kramer Bussel

Title: Yes, Sir – Erotic Stories of Female Submission
Editor: Rachel Kramer Bussel
Publisher: Cleis Press (2008)
ISBN: 978-1573443104

 

As a genre, I think erotica works amazingly well in short-story format. It doesn’t always require complex or convoluted expositions, lengthy character development or overly complicated plot twists. Because the best sexual material – long or short – always plays with the reader’s head, tapping into the wants and desires percolating within it. A good erotic writer, one who chooses their words and their scenario carefully, can get their audience wriggling in their seats and thinking of the bedroom in just a few short pages. And Yes, Sir is an excellent example of erotic short stories done well; they’re smart, stylish, and invariably conclude with fabulous sexual punch. Continue reading →

28

Sheds, Shelves and Shame: the best of the Fifty Shades parodies

‘Reader, I buggered him.’

 

Talk about an alternative ending to a classic. I never imagined Jane Eyre as a Domme, but now I can’t stop thinking about her pegging Mr Rochester.

 

It isn’t easy to write a good parody; limp jokes and tawdry puns abound – and many are about as entertaining as watching cement set – but in this post-Fifty Shades world, they’re being churned out left, right and centre as people try to cash in on the badly-written-BDSM-erotica revolution. Standing tall amidst the forest of downloadable dross, however, are three works of comedy that are absolute masterclasses in how to take the mick out of awful prose. Shenanigans with Thousand Island dressing, rimming the Black Gate of Mordor, and romantic nights at the Holiday Inn: will Fifty Sheds of Grey, Fifty Shelves of Grey and Fifty Shames of Earl Grey please stand up? Continue reading →

27

Talk dirty to me

Words have a lot of power. They can move us to tears, make us laugh, shock the hell out of us, make us happy. They can also turn us on.

Lately, I’ve noticed that increasing numbers of female erotica and erotic romance writers are using flowery euphemisms less and what we would traditionally have considered ‘baser’, masculine terms more. We all have different tastes, obviously, but I’m curious to know whether our comfort levels as female readers are changing. In text, are we now more able to embrace words that, say, five or ten years ago had the power to shock us? And do they invoke feelings of arousal or have we simply become desensitised by the rise in their use?

The feminist Germain Greer said in the BBC’s Balderdash and Piffle series, which originally aired back in 2006, that the word ‘cunt’ was ‘one of the few remaining words in the English language with a genuine power to shock.’ Is this still true six years down the line? (I did consider titling this post ‘Cunt: when is it appropriate?’ but decided that the word, when used blatantly and without context, would likely be a barrier to people reading any further into this piece. Which tells me straight away that I, personally, have attached some degree of stigma to it even though I consider myself fairly comfortable with ‘cunt’ in the context of erotic writing.) I also have to wonder if the success of E.L. James’ Fifty Shades of Grey is due to its rather chaste language. Sure, we get some non-vanilla toys and some alternative sex practices, but how many times do we get to hear about Anastasia’s ‘down there’ during the course of the story? I’m not saying that you have to use crude words to write good sexual content – look at John Cleland’s Fanny Hill – but do we, as women, have a fear of using certain words in the bedroom? Continue reading →

26

Sex with your iPhone, Erotica re-launch, and self-publishing

A sex app, the re-birth of Erotica U.K., and using social media to help promote eBooks. Hope you enjoy this week’s link round-up.

 

Synchronized iPhone Sex Toy Makes Long Distance Relationships Even More Awkward

Source: http://betabeat.com/ 

You can now have sex with your mobile. No, your iPhone 5 hasn’t suddenly sprouted an appendage (or a tunnel-like recess); rather LovePalz, a U.S. company, has invented an app for your phone that controls their own-brand sex toys. Per their website:

 

LovePalz is a brand new concept of motion sensing technology that aims to create physical feelings as real as possible in virtual sex experience. It can simulate your actions and cause physical contact over internet in real time. Through our service, you and your lover each hold one device and as long as you remain connected to the internet, the device automatically senses your actions and conveys them to your partner’s toy! In short, how you use it is simultaneously reflected on your lover’s toy, physically! bringing you and your lover together even when you are miles apart.

 

For crying out loud, people. Really? What happened to good old-fashioned phone sex and inappropriate Instagram pictures? As Beta Beat’s Jessica Roy aptly points out: ‘It’s almost like you’ll never have to have sex with a real person again. Thanks, LovePalz!’ And don’t even get me started on the narcissistic sex toy names, ‘Zeus’ and ‘Hera’. Greek gods indeed. It’s all thunder and pomegranates until your 3G connection craps out at a critical moment. Continue reading →

25

This story is about a little vibrator. Her name is Gigi

What we used: Gigi rechargeable G-Spot vibrator
From: LELO
Price: £53.90 – £69.00 (depending on retailer)
Material(s): Body safe silicone (main shaft) and plastic (base)

 

Do good things come in small packages? Lizzie shares her thoughts on Gigi, LELO’s rechargeable G-Spot vibrator, who she’s been getting to know for a while now.

 

First thoughts …

Lizzie
As you may know from reading my A not-so-Happy Rabbit review, I’ve been using vibrators – alone and with Thomas – for quite some time. But Gigi was a bit of a departure for me because, at the time I bought this little G-Spot gem, it represented a number of firsts. One, it was made by LELO, a brand I’d not tried before. Two, it wasn’t a rabbit (and up until Gigi’s arrival, all my vibes had ears). Three, it was the smallest vaginal vibrator I had ever purchased. Gigi was a bit of stab-in-the-dark, to be perfectly frank; I’d just divorced my latest rabbit – things hadn’t worked out between us – and I was desperate to find a vibrator I enjoyed using again. Continue reading →

21

Sci-fi sex toys, shed porn, and Maya Banks

My schedule has been a little off these past few days, so the regular Chintz link round-up is a bit later than usual – apologies. However, I hope you’ll agree it’s worth the wait – this week I’ve been alerted to the David the Werewolf dildo (yes, you read that correctly), erotica for the not-too-modern male, and a new Maya Banks trilogy.

 

Werewolf beats all: Interview with the CEO of fantasy sex toy site Bad Dragon (NSFW)
Source: San Francisco Bay Guardian Online

Secretly wish you could have sex with an orc? Well prepare yourself. This article looks at Bad Dragon (NSFW), a U.S. company that creates sex toys based on sci-fi and fantasy characters. The editorial is great – especially the link to their digital edition flowchart to help you decide which sci-fi penis is for you – but the bit that really amused me? The interview with company founder and CEO, Varka, who insists on talking about himself in the third person. Oh, and in case you’re wondering, Bad Dragon’s most popular make-believe appendages include David the Werewolf, Natascha the Anthro Husky, and Bruiser the Fusion.

I have a husband who likes Lord of the Rings. I’m officially scared. Continue reading →

12

Thievery, bad erotic writing, and Hysteria

This week’s Internet alert pearls include a Crimestoppers call for help to those who may have witnessed a sex toy theft, an extremely amusing look at awful sex scenes in books by comedian Ken Levine, and an article the charts the history of the vibrator.

 

Crimestoppers seeks info on sex toy theft

Source: www.wataugademocrat.com

‘The suspect stole two sex toys, lubricant and adult DVDs, according to police.’

Well, no prizes for guessing what he’s going to do with those. Clearly, a night alone with his hand didn’t hold a great deal of appeal for this particular perpetrator. Although the thing that really made me giggle when reading this article? The name of the street upon which the store, Night Secrets, is located: ‘Blowing Rock Road’. Could this sex shop’s locale be any more perfect? (I’m guessing they aren’t going to want the stolen items back if the pilferer is eventually caught …) Continue reading →