Tag: vibrators

26

Kink of the Week: Camp Dildo

Camp DildoImage: Maanpuolustusvastainen (own work)

How timely this Kink of the Week topic is; I have literally (as in the last 24 hours) hit the ‘pay now’ button and invested a chunk of change in a new phallic monolith for the old Jane and M toy box. No batteries, no cords, no plastic – just a lovely hunk of made-to-order glass that I’m hoping will get me off like no-one’s business. I want an orgasm. And I want a good one.

At this point, I’m going to say something controversial. Well, not controversial exactly but, possibly, a little surprising because I really haven’t seen that many other women make the statement I’m about to:

Phallic-style vibrators don’t, as a general rule, get me off.

Not without a lot of fiddling about, anyway.

From a stimulation point-of-view, the internal vibrations do a whole lot of nothing to my lady parts (am I the only one whose vagina pretty much yawns in boredom at these?) and while the rabbit ears – if the vibrator in question happens to have them – do generally feel good against my clitoris, they never seem to hit quite the right place with any sort of consistency. M’s fingers are far easier to position, far more flexible, and far more likely to get me where I need to go. They don’t need recharging, either.

Which brings me to dildos. Continue reading →

01

Sex toy manuals: puppies, kittens and a whole lot of nonsensical fluff

Last week, I saw this tweet by blogger and writer Betty Herbert …

@BettyHerbert

… and had something of a ‘heck, yeah!’ moment. Mainly because Betty had managed to articulate in less than 140 characters something that has been bugging me for a long time: sex toy manufacturers’ use of annoyingly euphemistic language within their instruction manuals. Or, put another way, their ridiculous insistence on providing virtually no practical instruction whatsoever when it comes to anything other than nuts and bolts functionality.

When I questioned her further about her tweet, Betty went on to say:

@BettyHerbert(2)

If you own a vibrator, or a dildo, or a cock ring, or a butt plug, or any other kind of sex toy or implement, you’ll likely understand exactly what it is she and I are talking about. How many times have you taken something out of the box, perused the manual, and gotten a run-down on Button A and Button B but nothing whatsoever about how or where to insert it? Looked at something online, twisted your head sideways and thought ‘how the hell does that work?’ Turned something over and over in your hands and, after scratching the old noggin, thought ‘well, I get the basic idea, but is this the front or the back?’ Granted, most of us can work out where to stick a dildo or a vibrator but as toy designs evolve and change, become more sophisticated, it’s not always as simple as it might seem to navigate the parameters of functionality. Continue reading →

12

Freebies and discounts: vampire erotic theatre, stainless steel, wax, and ladies bought low

Some intriguing free eBooks on the list this week. Like the idea of being bought low by an Alpha male? Oh, ho-ho. Stainless steel toys your thing? Do read on …

 

EBOOKS

*The following books were listed as free at the time of this post’s publication. Please double-check that that’s still the case before you hit the download button.

 

The Lady Submits – Chloe Cox

The Lady Submits

Loving the premise of this one. (The warning is more of an incitement to read, as far as I’m concerned!)

‘Sometimes a highborn Lady needs to be brought low…

It’s the decadent, raunchy holiday of Bacchanal, and the Lady Lucrezia Grimaldi cannot find a man to satisfy her. Worse, she’s been saddled with the brutish Carlo Castellan as her bodyguard for the last night of Bacchanal. There’s only one thing to do: escape to the fabled House of the Severille…

The imperious Lady Lucrezia expects to sate herself by dominating some poor house slave. What she gets instead is the harsh touch of a Severille Master who will stop at nothing to make the Lady submit. 

The Lady Submits is a 12,000 word erotic historical fantasy novelette featuring strong BDSM themes. If you don’t like bondage, leashes, public display and humiliation, or alpha male doms who brook no dissent, then this probably isn’t for you.’ Continue reading →

14

Sex Toy Stories: Fifty Shades of Pink

Fifty Shades of PinkDisheartened. That’s the word that comes to mind after watching last night’s Sex Toy Stories on Channel Four. I didn’t plan on writing this post. But I went to bed feeling annoyed about it and when I woke up with my teeth still clenching, decided to let loose on the keyboard.

If you follow the Chintz Twitter account, you may have seen the tweets I posted following the show’s the conclusion late last night. They were, largely, to do with the colour pink and how annoyed I was that sex toy manufacturers-slash-sellers seem to think that every women wants something that looks like a piece of rock candy to stick between her legs. However, for me, this gripe was really the tip of a much bigger iceberg.

A quick recap for those who didn’t see get the chance to see this documentary … Eight everyday women – the ‘O Team’ – are recruited by adult toy/lingerie giant Ann Summers to produce a range of sex toys for ‘real women’. A camera crew follows them around for a year as they share their thoughts and ideas, and documents the Summers team taking them from concept to completion. The final (pink/purple) products are unveiled, everyone claps, and Ann Summers make a sh*t load of money. The volunteers? Oh, they get the kudos of having designed something for Ann Summers. And maybe a few free toys. Continue reading →

20

Alert Me: ‘Fantasy man’ vibrators, BDSM Barbie, and a teacher in trouble

In this last Alert Me for 2012, we have ‘dream man’ sex toys from Smile Makers, Barbie and Ken getting their kink on in Ottawa, Canada, and a school teacher under fire for writing erotica.

 

Conceptual Sex Toys: Smile Makers
Source: Trendland.com

The Fireman. The Millionaire. The Frenchman. The Tennis Coach.

No, these aren’t the titles of books from Mills & Boon. Rather, they’re the names of the four new Smile Makers vibrators on offer from conceptual design company Ramblin’ Brands. And when I say ‘conceptual’, they really, really are. I was completely puzzled as to how you might use The Frenchman and sat looking at him for quite some time before my OH came to the rescue. (One glance and he quickly identified that he’s supposed to be used like a tongue on your outer bits. Clearly, I’m in the slow group.)

I love the idea of vibrators based on the stereotypical ‘fantasy men’ – fun, amusing and very different. Aesthetically, I think the Smile Makers designs and colourways are extremely appealing, too, and I’ll definitely be adding them to the Chintz ‘to try’ list in the near future. In the meantime, I’m going to continue amusing myself with the Smile Makers Fantasy Man Generator, a hilarious little onsite game that lets you create your dream hunk from a cast of colourful characters and share him with your friends via social media. Loads of fun. (Be sure to click on Jungle Wayne in his tiger-striped underpants.) Continue reading →