How timely this Kink of the Week topic is; I have literally (as in the last 24 hours) hit the ‘pay now’ button and invested a chunk of change in a new phallic monolith for the old Jane and M toy box. No batteries, no cords, no plastic – just a lovely hunk of made-to-order glass that I’m hoping will get me off like no-one’s business. I want an orgasm. And I want a good one.

At this point, I’m going to say something controversial. Well, not controversial exactly but, possibly, a little surprising because I really haven’t seen that many other women make the statement I’m about to:

Phallic-style vibrators don’t, as a general rule, get me off.

Not without a lot of fiddling about, anyway.

From a stimulation point-of-view, the internal vibrations do a whole lot of nothing to my lady parts (am I the only one whose vagina pretty much yawns in boredom at these?) and while the rabbit ears – if the vibrator in question happens to have them – do generally feel good against my clitoris, they never seem to hit quite the right place with any sort of consistency. M’s fingers are far easier to position, far more flexible, and far more likely to get me where I need to go. They don’t need recharging, either.

Which brings me to dildos.

I was late to the dildo party, seduced in my youthful exuberance by the idea of vibrations equalling orgasmic heaven: why would I want to choose a plain old phallus over one that vibrates like an Airbus during take-off and churns little beads around like a cement mixer full of marbles? Surely the more features the better? Give me the bells and whistles! Stick as many things on that hot rod as possible!

Image: L’Academie des Dames… Aloïsia, Nicolas Chorier

Yeah, turns out all those extras, for me personally, were highly un-necessary. In short, I have come to realise that, internally, all my body really cares about is size, shape, and material.

My first dildo purchases were probably not the best (rubbery numbers that smelled awful and, in hindsight, were likely choc-full of phthalates). However, the fact that they were, respectively, both bigger and smaller than a standard vibrator made them stand out because they could do things their vibrating siblings weren’t really able to: the larger-sized dildo created more satisfying friction internally due to its girth; the smaller, thinner one could be inserted into tighter places. Eventually, however, as I became more educated about phthalates, I threw them both out and went in search of body-safe alternatives.

And this was when I discovered the joys of the glass dildo.

The glass phallus has pretty much become my internal sex toy of choice. Why? First and foremost, because it has a firmness to it that the softer, plasticised versions just don’t. In turn, this means that it can be angled and rubbed against the G-Spot extremely effectively and, if I’m lucky, prompt a squirting orgasm. (When all’s said and done, that’s the kind of climax I put on a pedestal because they’re nearly always more intense than one triggered by clitoral stimulation.) I’ve also found that glass tends to lend itself to more extreme angling design-wise and that the hooked, curved dildos that can be produced from it as a result are perfect for targeting that little sponge of internal nerve endings. Best of all, glass isn’t going to leach all sorts of chemical nasties into your body. It’s easy to clean, too.

Image: Erotische Darstellung, Franz von Bayros 

I’ve not yet tried a stainless steel dildo (although one of those is on my wish list) but have heard that many others rate them, particularly the njoy Pure Wand, for the same reasons: it’s firm, angled, body-safe, and non-porous. (This particular design comes up again and again on Toy with Me Tuesday and looking at various other online reviews, it seems some people are ready to marry the thing!)

So (after all that rambling), I hereby declare myself a card-carrying member of Camp Dildo. I like it here. There’s no fast, or slow or pulse setting, but it’s satisfying. Blissfully so.

The post Kink of the Week: Camp Dildo appeared first on Behind the Chintz Curtain.

Similarly, keeping the toy box interesting can leave a pretty serious ding in the old bank account. I don’t tend to buy vibrators and dildos at the same rate I buy books (I doubt I’d be able to stand upright if I did!) but, even so, the good stuff is never particularly cheap.

So in the spirit of preventing whacking great reading bills and giving you frugal orgasms, I thought I’d compile a list of current deals and freebies. I’m going to try and do this every Friday, if I can – so if you fancy a little something for the weekend you’ll (hopefully!) be able to find a book or toy that won’t break the budget.

FREE EBOOKS

*Please note that all of the below were free at the time of this post’s publication but pricing can change at any time. To that end, please double-check that the prices are still at zero before you start downloading.

40 FREE KINDLE BOOKS action, fantasy, paranormal, mystery, romance, YA

This is a brilliant Amazon Listmania list that’s updated by its author every few days. As the title suggests, there’s a bit a genre mix going on, but this compilation is perfect if you’re desperate to read and can’t afford to part with a penny. Just be aware that it’s hosted on Amazon.com so the freebie statuses may not always apply on the Amazon.co.uk site.

Currently includes Heather Bowhay’s YA Amethyst, which has a fair few positive reviews.

You can find the list here.

Masters at Arms (Introduction to Military Romance & BDSM Series) (Rescue Me) – Kallypso Masters

Amazon.co.uk edition
Amazon.com edition

I’ve read some of Kallypso’s other books and this one is definitely worth a look if you have a thing for military men.

‘Masters at Arms is an introduction to the Rescue Me series, which needs to be read first. The book begins the journey of three men, each on a quest for honor, acceptance, and to ease his unspoken pain. Their paths cross at one of the darkest points in their lives. As they try to come to terms with the aftermath of Iraq–forging an unbreakable bond–they band together to start their own BDSM club. But will they ever truly become masters of their own fates? Or would fate become masters of them? (Book One in the Rescue Me series.)’

Anything She Wants, A Lesbian Erotica Anthology – edited by Harper Bliss

Amazon.co.uk edition
Amazon.com edition

One for the ladies:

‘In the office, on the set of a movie or on the bathroom floor, the ladies in this anthology don’t care where they get it on. Power play, first time encounters and office rivalry get the characters in these twelve stories so riled up, the only way to go is down and dirty. Tales of spanking, a wild all-female college party and a waitress with a strap-on grace the pages of Ladylit’s first multi-author lesbian erotica anthology.

Caution: Reading ‘Anything She Wants’ will make you wet!’

Private Paradise – Jami Alden 

Kobo ePub

For those who’re in the mood for something romantic:

‘After years of catering to the whims of the rich and famous at one of the Caribbean’s most luxurious resorts, there isn’t much that can rattle Carla DeLuca. 
Until Sam O’Connell shows up. 
Tall, dark, and sexy, Holley Cay’s new security chief is no stranger. He’s the irresistible bad boy who seduced her over a long, hot summer only to leave her heartbroken, humiliated, and determined to never again fall for a player like him. But though her heart still stings with the memory of his rejection, her body can’t forget the all-consuming pleasure of his touch.

Sam never forgave himself for his too cruel rejection of Carla over a decade before. Young, reckless, and convinced it was only a matter of time Carla regretted hooking up with a trouble maker like him, Sam pushed Carla away before she could realize her mistake. But when Sam lands a job working for Carla in paradise, he seizes the chance to finally make things right. 

When a hurricane strands them alone on the island, Carla is unable to resist the passion simmering between them. She doesn’t fool herself that what they have will last past the storm. But little does she know, Sam will do whatever it takes to make her his – forever this time.’

TOYS

Lovehoney 

Currently have a £10.00 toy deal on until Tuesday 11 June. When I checked earlier today, there were forty-four items in the deal list, including the Cupid’s G-Spot Smoothie Vibrator (reduced from £16.99 to a tenner) and the Satisfy Me Curve Silicone Dildo (reduced from £14.99 to a tenner). G-Spot/squirting orgasm alert!

Full details here.

Bondara

Are offering 15% off their various toy bundles, including the Bargain Anal Sex Toys Bundle and the Ultimate Bondage Bundle.

Full details here.

That Position

Attention pegging fans! That Postion’s Deal of the Week is the Fetish Fantasy Elite 8’’ Hollow Strap-on. It’s made from medical grade silicone and is currently reduced from the RRP of £74.00 to £45.00 (!) and, even better, it’s a hollow strap-on so can be worn by either partner.

Wishing you all a wonderfully saucy weekend.

Jane

xxx

The post Sexy on a Budget: freebies and discounts appeared first on Behind the Chintz Curtain.

It turns out the Jason Julius runs a website called Orgasm Arts and provides online instructional videos to those wanting to learn more about female orgasms. Not surprisingly, the majority of his offerings have to be paid for – and they’re not cheap. (I can’t speak for others, but I don’t think I’d pay $47 to learn about something I could’ve found out about by investing half-an-hour of my time searching the Interweb. I also took a bit of an exception to the ‘if you can’t give your girlfriend/partner/wife a G-Spot orgasm, she’s likely to leave you’ sales spiel on the Orgasm Arts Website.)

However, Mr Julius has placed some ‘free to view’ videos on YouTube, including How To Hit The G Spot and Foreplay Tips and Techniques, which I did take the time watch. And I have to say, I found his freebee offerings somewhat intriguing – less for their informational content, which, pure fact-wise, isn’t too bad – than the man actually presenting them. It’s not often you see a guy who looks like he’s off to a rock concert or the lost fifth member of Stone Temple Pilots trying to talk in a very serious manner about getting a woman off …

The post Jason Julius: frontman for female ejaculation appeared first on Behind the Chintz Curtain.

What we used: Smooth G-Spot Glass Dildo with finger loop
From: Spartacus
Price: From £29.99
Material(s): lead free borosilicate glass

Dildos don’t vibrate, but they do have their charms … Lizzie and Thomas play with the Smooth G-Spot Glass Dildo from Spartacus.

First thoughts …

Lizzie
A couple of months ago, Thomas and I had a major toy box clean out. We threw out a load of stuff – things that we’d bought and didn’t like, mostly, but also some toys that we’d enjoyed and thought were past their use-by date. Amongst them, a monstrously large dildo that Thomas purchased for me as a birthday present. It was an awful, flesh-coloured thing that was eye-wateringly large (he didn’t check the size properly before ordering it – or so he told me) and smelled strongly of latex. So strongly, in fact, you could smell it halfway across the room if the lid on our toy box wasn’t shut properly. Still, we had quite a bit of fun with it before it was eventually consigned to the dustbin, although I can’t say it really sold me on dildos generally; vibrators always seemed to have far more to offer. Needless to say, I was pretty ambivalent about the Spartacus Smooth G-Spot Dildo. Turns out, I grossly underestimated what a well-designed, well-made toy could do for me.

Thomas
My last dildo purchase for Lizzie was less than 100% satisfactory, although I think she quite liked the size ;-). It did look and smell awful; think John Holmes on steroids complete with ‘realistic veins’ (the manufacturer’s words on the packaging, not mine) and ‘realistic’ meaning varicose, apparently. The packaging was also a bit crap. I never showed it to Lizzie as it was too embarrassing (it featured a male model who looked like disturbingly like David Hasselhoff with some major Photoshop-ing having been done on his genitals) and I can see why they didn’t show this on the site I brought it from.

The packaging …

Lizzie
I really appreciate it when toy manufacturers cater to both genders, i.e. don’t plaster big-boobed, de-haired women all over their packaging. It immediately makes me more inclined to buy their products again. This Spartacus glass dildo is presented in a simple, black, hexagonal box with clean font. It’s completely neutral, in other words; you could buy it and give it to a man or woman without worrying that the branding was (potentially) going to send the wrong message, i.e. “I want you to be a porn star!”

How it looks …

Lizzie
Pretty! The dildo is made of mid-blue blown glass and beautifully shaped. The shaft, which has an insertable length of 6 inches (approximately 15.5 centimetres), runs at a consistent width and then flares out to create a bulb-shaped head with a diameter of 4.75 inches (12 centimetres) at its widest point.  The latter crooks forwards slightly, giving it the all-important ability to stimulate the G-Spot. At the dildo’s base, a simple ring that allows the person wielding it slip their fingers through and thus get (and maintain) a decent grip on the toy.

Thomas
Much better than our original monster. It looks like it could be a glass sculpture or a paperweight. The packaging is also subtle and low-key so you won’t feel like a member of the old mac brigade if you give one as a gift. Well-made and very smooth with no visible cracks or joins (a must in a glass dildo); it’s even got a ring you can hang it on. Handy.

In action …

Lizzie
Two words. Female ejaculation. I have experienced this orgasm-induced side effect quite a few times before but generally find it easier to achieve with Thomas’s fingers (although G-Spot vibrators also do the job). There was something about the Spartacus dildo’s shape, however, that got me there faster and more easily than either digits or my usual toy-partner in crime, the LELO Gigi. The head of the dildo, when angled correctly, felt wonderful when pressed and rubbed against my G-Spot and, as far as I’m concerned, the size and design of it are pretty close to perfect. I had four ejaculatory orgasms in the space of an hour with this thing (no lie) although Thomas was the one in the driver’s seat, so I have to give him a large chunk of the credit for using the dildo to such devastating effect.

Material-wise, the Spartacus felt wonderful. The glass was beautifully smooth and slippery and I especially liked the way it changed temperature during use. (To start with, it was very cool but as it absorbed my body heat, it became warmer and warmer.)

I found that the best way to use this toy was standing and bent forwards over a soft chair; the position gave Thomas a decent amount of room to manoeuvre and also allowed him some scope to get the dildo in the correct position. In addition, he was able to press the head of the dildo against the front wall of my vagina more easily (no fighting gravity) – and thus target my G-Spot.

Thomas
I didn’t know to start with this was a G-Spot dildo, although the shape looked about right for one so once we got down to business, I started to see how effective it would be for stimulating this area. Extremely effective, as it turned out.

I could tell it was certainly hitting the spot (so to speak) with Lizzie but it soon became very obvious that it was really hitting it. Lizzie has ejaculated a number of times before but this was by far the quickest and the most frequent I have seen, so much so that the line from that Bloodhound Gang song ‘love the kind you clean up with a mop and a bucket’ springs to mind. I could have stopped after the first one but I don’t like letting Lizzie off too easily so I thought I would push the boat out.

The reason I think this dildo works so well is because of the shape of its large, angled head. It caught Lizzie in just the right place inside and I could feel it moving over her pelvic bone (which is the sweet spot for her), so it was relatively simple to position. Also the ring on the base makes it easy to get a good grip and to get the head in at just the right angle (which is much harder to do with just the shaft on a normal dildo).

Any downsides?

Lizzie
None that I can think of. I’m in love with this thing!

The verdict?

Lizzie
A really fabulous dildo that looks good, is well made, and shaped like a dream. It’s very easy to clean, too, as it can be sterilised in the dishwasher. I suspect this toy is going to be brought out often and that it’s going to result in a quite a few soaked towels, sheets and floors. Great fun to use with a partner and highly (highly) recommended to those who enjoy or climax from G-Spot stimulation. Even better, although we had plenty of fun during our inaugural session with this dildo, there’s lots of scope to mix things up in the future as the glass construction means that we can warm it in a basin of water or cool it in the fridge or freezer before use. (The idea of the frozen glass being put somewhere hot holds a lot of appeal – rather like an ice cube but far less messy!)

Thomas
I have never used a glass dildo before but I have to say I am sold on this one; it looks good, has outstanding performance and is very practical. I also think the ability for it to be frozen will add extra thrills (and the odd shock) for Lizzie in the future.

In summary

Things we liked:

• The orgasms it produced. Full-on, full-out female ejaculation.
• The glass construction. Attractive and easy to clean.
• The play possibilities. Can be heated or cooled safely.
• Phthalate-free. No nasty chemicals and especially good for those with latex allergies.
• Lube-friendly. Because this dildo is made of glass, it can be used with all types of lubricants (oil-, silicone- or water-based).

Things we weren’t so keen on:

• Nothing!

Tickle your fancy? Click here to buy this item from Lovehoney.

The post A touch of glass: the Spartacus Smooth G-Spot Dildo appeared first on Behind the Chintz Curtain.