Title:

The angst! Oh, the angst!

At Any Turn should seriously consider a brand partnership with a pharma company manufacturing Captopril (“Free bottle with every copy!”) given the elevated blood pressure levels people are likely to experience when reading it. My daughter recently discovered a cartoon series on Netflix, appropriately titled Total Drama, and I’m pretty sure that this book is a more grown-up version of it, all rolled into a convenient, three-hundred-and-sixty-seven page package. I swear, if you’d hooked me up to a pressure cuff or stuck a finger on my pulse while I was reading this thing, you would have rushed me to the nearest A&E.

At Any Turn picks up where At Any Price left off (spoilers ahoy-hoy for those who haven’t read the first book in the Gaming the System series); videogame millionaire, Adam Drake, and gamer-girl blogger Mia Strong are attempting to explore a post-virginity-auction relationship. Adam is working on controlling his workaholic tendencies and Mia is anxiously waiting to find out if she’s managed to get into med school. Given that the ‘will-they-won’t-they’ drama of book one, I thought that At Any Turn might follow a slightly smoother plot trajectory. You know, give readers a bit of time off for good behaviour.

No. No, no, no, no, nooooo.

Unlike At Any Price, which was narrated by Mia, Adam takes the reins in this one, and I can only say that, emotionally, he is like a light switch at the mercy of toddler – turned on and off repeatedly until you think you’re in an 80s discothèque. One minute he wants to stay in a relationship with Mia. The next, he’s totally over the whole thing or playing silly games with her emotions.

I couldn’t lose her. I wouldn’t.

Fuck it. Fuck her. I pulled my eyes away and never looked at her again.

“When can I see you again?”

“April says you’re taken and I as pretty sure that you were single. So which is it?”

… in spite of the warning bells at the back of my head, I decided to milk it a little.

“I am currently unattached.”

 I was willing to concede, finally. I was willing to put this in her hands.

 I was starting to hate the fact that I was still so hung up on her. Maybe it was just time to walk away from this mess?

“… we are done. Forever.”

… it was time she knew she was mine. “I love you,” I said hoarsely as she turned the knob.

You get the idea. (Quick ‘thank you’ to Katniss for standing in for Mia and Ken for Adam. Although I do apologise for the fact that Mia’s hair colour remains the same throughout. The Children’s Toy Box Production Company didn’t have a suitable Barbie replacement.)

In all fairness, Mia, bless her, certainly doesn’t make things easy on old Adam. Granted, her character is going through some pretty heavy stuff but crying all night into a self-help book: what does every single relationship councillor on the planet tell couples going through rocky patches? That’s right, they use the ‘C’ word. No, no that one, this one:

COMMUNICATION.

I do like a book that builds tension but, to me, it felt like that there was a lot of drama for drama’s sake and it all could have been resolved much sooner with a simple conversation between the protagonists. Ultimately, that would have made me like them both a lot more than I ended up doing – and not left me with the overpowering urge to hit both of them over the head with an Xbox controller.

As to the gaming aspects touched on in the story: if you read my review of At Any Price you’ll know that I was originally attracted to the book because of its inclusion of game development in the plotline. As someone who used to work in the videogame industry, I was intrigued as to how Brenna was going to weave the rather unglamorous life of game dev. into the storyline.

While most of the story was believable, two things stuck out for me – the hidden quest in Adam’s online game, Dragon Epoch, and the paintball match against rival developer Blizzard (who actually exist in real life).

Now, according to the book, Adam is the only one who knows exactly what the hidden quest is – which in the real world is highly unlikely because implementing any sort of gameplay isn’t just the work of a single coder. Even simple mechanics require concept artists, modellers, riggers, animators, lighters, a sound team. Then you’ve got the problem of inserting something into existing software. Nine times out of ten, something will break when you do this. Okay, maybe I’m being a little melodramatic, but the bottom line is changing code is (really) risky. That’s why new stuff, after it’s been made by a raft of people, is always always put through its paces by a group of testers before it’s released to the general public. And why the entire studio will take turns shooting you with a Nerf Gun if you ask for a change in the days prior to publishing/manufacture approval.

I know this from personal experience.

As to the paintball game; the only people who usually get shot at these kind of videogame studio corporate get-togethers are the executive and senior producers. And ‘friendly fire’ is a relative term: arm a dev. team with paintball guns after three months of twelve-hour days and eating Domino’s pizza night after night, there’s going to be anarchy.

Reading this review back, I think I sound a little harsh. That actually wasn’t my intention. Brenna is an excellent writer and At Any Turn is a fine example of self-publishing; the copy is wonderfully clean and the story hangs together well. However, I would be lying if I said that the constant on-again-of-again plotline didn’t wind me up and leave me feeling exhausted. I just hope that the third Gaming the System book dials back on the deliberate miscommunication. I don’t think my blood pressure can handle another round of Adam and Mia sabotaging their relationship at any and every turn.

*Please note that a copy of At Any Turn was provided by the author free of charge in exchange for a fair review.

**REVIEW UPDATE: Brenna (who, I might add, has been an excellent sport about the Barbies) has confirmed that Adam alone is not responsible for the secret Dragon Epoch. Misunderstanding of the text on my part. So you can consider that portion of my review A Very (Very) Brief Overview of Videogame development.

Tickle your fancy? Click on the following links to purchase a copy.

Amazon.com

• At Any Turn – Kindle

Amazon.co.uk

• At Any Turn – Kindle

Kobo

• At Any Turn – ePub

The post At Any Turn – Brenna Aubrey (Gaming the System) appeared first on Behind the Chintz Curtain.

Title:

A huge apology to Sadey Quinn, Bad Girl Good’s author, who has been waiting super-patiently for me to post our review of this book. As many of you may be aware from my Tumbleweed post, things are slightly chaotic behind the florals at the moment and I’m rather behind on, well, pretty much everything. Hmm. Maybe I need Todd, Bad Girl Good’s male protagonist, to keep me in line…?

MICHAEL’S TAKE

Bad Girl Good is a Domestic Discipline novel. When Chloe breaks one of her boyfriend’s rules, Todd gets to spank her.

Bad Girl Good is a Total Power Exchange novel. Chloe has given control of her life to her Dom, Todd, and he disciplines her when she violates any of his dictates.

Which one of those is accurate? I am still not entirely sure.

I have to say my favourite moment was when Todd spanked Chloe after she left the house and went home. She was drunk but he didn’t just punish her for that. She was stoned but he didn’t just punish her for that. He punished her because he thought she should have and discussed things before she left. In other words, he didn’t approve of her decision-making while she was drunk and stoned. That still makes me laugh.

Personally, I thought Todd was a bit of a jerk. But Chloe liked him and I felt like she needed him. The question really came down to whether Todd loved Chloe more or loved the idea of fixing Chloe more. And did it really matter.

JANE’S TAKE

I don’t normally talk about book covers in my reviews, despite the fact that I tend to be quite swayed by them (yeah, I know you’re not supposed to judge the text by the façade but I’m quite a visual person and often can’t help myself). However, I think Bad Girl Good’s one deserves a mention. It’s sexy. Very, very sexy and – thank God! – there’s not a piece of jewellery, men’s accessory, or a piece of fruit in sight. (Apparently, nothing says ‘sex’ these days like an inanimate object. Yes, Penguin marketing department I am looking at you.)

Right, on to the book itself.

To me, Bad Girl Good is a domestic discipline (DD) novel, although I agree with Michael: it does stray close to TPE at times and I, too, wasn’t sure whether Todd’s hot button was mending the girl or the girl herself.

Let me put it this way: Coldplay’s Fix You could be the theme song to this book – and I’m not entirely sure how comfortable I am with that (no offence to Chris Martin).

Did Chloe need Todd? Yes, I think so. Did she need the discipline he could give her? Probably – and she enjoyed it. (The punishment scene with the clothespins? Hot.) But did Todd need to treat her like a naughty toddler rather than a grown up? In my opinion, no, and, as a result, the way he talked down to her rubbed on me a little.

Bad Girl Good is well written and I suspect that fans of DD are going to love it. For me? As someone who has a marked preference for more clear-cut D/s scenarios and storylines? Well, let’s just say that Sadey’s Spanktastic, which I reviewed a while back (and adored), continues to be my favourite of hers.

Tickle your fancy? Click on the following links to purchase a copy:

Amazon.co.uk

• Bad Girl Good – Kindle

Amazon.com

• Bad Girl Good –Kindle

*Please note that a copy of Bad Girl Good was supplied free of charge by the author in exchange for a fair review.

The post Bad Girl Good – Sadey Quinn appeared first on Behind the Chintz Curtain.

As you may have deduced from the title, this entry focuses on a type of fictional hero I have a particular soft spot for: one who can build a tent out of a handkerchief, catch a fish with a shoelace, and ride a horse upside down. Oh, and burn the sheets up (of course). These choices aren’t erotic so much as romantic, but I’m an absolute sucker for a good love story and make no apology for it.

Only His – Elizabeth Lowell

Warning! This is total romantic schmaltz and has all the stereotypical cheese one would expect from this type of book:

Angry Alpha hero? Check.

Naïve virginal heroine? Present.

Improbable plot? Oh, ho ho, yes.

In fact, this scathing Publisher’s Weekly review from 1991 sums it up pretty well:

‘In this tedious historical romance, Lowell (Tell Me No Lies) gives barely enough plot to keep a short story moving. Willow Moran, a West Virginian who lost her parents and most of her possessions during the Civil War, is traveling west with her remaining valuables—five Arabian horses—to find her brother Matt, who is prospecting for gold. Her guide from Denver to the San Juan mountains is former Army scout Caleb Black who, unbeknownst to Willow, also is hunting Matt; on her deathbed, after bearing an illegitimate baby, Caleb’s sister named Matt as her seducer. The largely uneventful journey, complicated only by ruffians who are pursuing them (to steal Willow’s horses and finish a fight begun in Denver with Caleb), occupies a substantial portion of the book: Willow and Caleb spend much of their time riding, eating and lusting after each other. By the time the hero, ”with a silent curse at his unruly desires,” indulges in yet another assessment of the heroine, wondering ”how her hair would feel spilling over his naked skin, ” the reader is likely to be silently cursing right along with him—and brother Matt isn’t even close to being on the horizon.’

 – Copyright 1991 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

So why on earth did I like it so much? Because it is epically enjoyable in all its sugary, schmaltzy ridiculousness, of course! Not only is Caleb’s hardness wonderfully hot – his character, not his penis, you dirty-minded individuals (although that particular bit of wood does make a, er, firm appearance) – but the landscape in which all this carry-on takes place is beautifully rendered by the author. The sex is very, very tame (and it does take Caleb and Willow absolutely ages to get it on with one another) but despite its relative chasteness and unrealistically perfect execution, it’s surprisingly enjoyable when it does eventually make an appearance.

In summary: 1990s-style Alpha hero who can ride a horse, deflower virgins with aplomb, and shoot a six-gun like no one’s business.

Also available from Amazon.com and Kobo.

Comanche Moon ­– Catherine Anderson

I adore this book and have re-read it more times than I can remember. If you haven’t encountered it yet, go buy it right now. Now, I tell you! Again, it’s a romance rather than an erotica, but it is beautiful and tumultuous and absolutely epic. It’s entirely possible that Comanche Moon spoke to me so strongly because there’s a strong capture fantasy thread running through it (if you’ve read the previous two My Life in Books  posts you’ll know that that’s one of my favourite plot devices) but, having said that, I think the quality of the writing and Catherine Anderson’s overall execution of the storyline are what really sold it to me.

Hunter is the most delicious of heroes. He is angry. He is intelligent. He is stubborn. He has the capacity for both brutality and ruthlessness. But mixed in with all of that is an unfailing sense of morality – and it’s that sense of right and wrong that transforms him from an average hero into one who’s spectacular.

He said “woman” as if he were spitting bile and slid his lance arrow to her chin. She had heard of women being disfigured by Indians and expected him to slash her as he outlined her mouth and the slope of her nose. Breathless fear brought moisture to her brow. Black spots danced, blurring her vision.

She blinked and forced herself to focus on him. Laughter twinkled in his eyes. She realized that since he had decided not to kill her, he was, for some reason she couldn’t imagine, playing a hideous game, terrifying her to test her mettle. She caught hold of his lance and shoved it aside, lifting her head in defiance. Chuckling low in his chest, he leaned over his thigh, making a fist in her hair. His grip brought tears to her eyes.

As he turned her face to study her, he said, “You have more courage than you have strength, Yellow Hair. It is not wise to fight when you cannot win.”

Looking up at his carved features and the arrogant set of his mouth, she longed for the strength to jerk him off his horse. He wasn’t just taunting her, he was challenging her, mocking her.

“You will yield. Look at me and know the face of your master. Remember it well.”

In summary: glorious, intelligent capture fantasy-style romance with a sublime Comanche hero at the helm.

Also available from Amazon.com and Kobo.

Defiant ­– Pamela Clare

If you loved reading James Fenimore Cooper’s The Last of the Mohicans or fell for Michael Mann’s film version of the story (in case you need your memory jogged, I’ve included the – incredibly dated – 1992 film trailer below) then Pamela Clare’s MacKinnon’s Rangers series, of which Defiant is the final instalment, will likely result in a heady book crack fix. I actually discovered Ms Clare through her I-Team series and enjoyed the entries in that so much that I was persuaded to try out her historical offerings. (Hands up, I’d initially been put off them by the rather in-your-face shirtless fake-tan-man covers, which, stylistically, aren’t my bag, but the gamble well and truly paid off.)

The MacKinnon’s Rangers series follows the fates of three brothers in forced service to the British Crown, specifically, at the hands of one Lord William Wentworth, and Defiant  is the last instalment in the trilogy. Now, while this book can, in my opinion, be read as a stand-alone, I suspect readers will enjoy it far more if they demolish books one and two, Surrender and Untamed, first so that they get all the backstory and can fully appreciate the depth of the conflict between Connor (the hero) and Wentworth.

Defiant  is absolutely not a pick-it-up-and-put-it-down book. If you get this thing in your hands, just make sure you have a few clear hours ahead of you because I guarantee that once you start you will be glued until the very last page. The road for rough Scottish diamond Connor and the refined Lady Sarah Woodville, his love interest, is a difficult one but made all the more compelling by Clare’s exceptional attention to historical detail. It’s romance, but it’s romance with an edge to it – the frontier environment, together with the war that’s going on as Connor and Sarah fight to be together absolutely prevent Defiant from becoming predictable and boringly fluffy.

In summary: The Last of the Mohicans run through with a romance claymore.

Oh, and here’s that trailer I promised you:

Also available from Amazon.com.

Missed the first two My Life in Books posts? You can find Part One here and Part Two here.

The post My Life in Books (Part Three): Wild Men appeared first on Behind the Chintz Curtain.

Title:

Two words: still recovering. Bind and Keep Me is non-con BDSM erotica at its absolute best. If you like your tales dark, you’re not going to want to miss this one.

*You can click on any of the stick figure drawings below to make them bigger. Which many of you will likely need to do if your eyesight is as bad as mine and you can’t read the writing!

JANE’S TAKE

This book should come with a health warning:

Caution! Jaw may drop to floor and disconnect from face. The author assumes no responsibility for readers who spontaneously combust with arousal and/or spend days wondering whether their moral compass needs resetting as a result of reading (and enjoying) this book.

Leave your sanity at the door because there is absolutely no way that Bind and Keep Me can be put into either the Safe, Sane and Consensual (SSC) or Risk Aware Consensual Kink (RACK) buckets. There is unsafe play in spades. There is insane play by the truckload. There is non-consent to the power of a hundred overlaid with the veneer of incredibly dubious consent. There is risk with a capital ‘R’. And there is kink. Oh, man is there kink.

But the scary thing is that it works. Almost too well. So well that you come out the other end of this book and think ‘I’m one twisted individual for enjoying that. And wanting more.’

A sadist who’s completely off the chain? Check.

Thoroughly illegal activity (murder-slash-manslaughter and abduction)? Check.

A ‘victim’ who has absolutely no say, no outs, no choice in what is done to her? Check, check, check.

Why is it that this book is so deliciously frightening? Because it feels so believable. You could actually imagine the scenario it describes happening. Cari Silverwood has taken everyday characters and situations and completely run them through the twisted kinky wringer to create something that is, pardon my language, a thoroughly arousing mind f*ck. (Let me assure you, you will never look at accountant in quite the same way.)

I was expecting a continuation of Klaus and Jodie’s story, which began in Take Me, Break Me. What I got was a tale that took me on a totally unexpected right-angle and went far deeper and darker than it’s predecessor. And as I read, I could not get out of my mind the following passage from that first book, the one in which Klaus truly begins to understand just how far his sadistic desires go:

‘My new epiphany turned creepy cold. Sharing hadn’t been last on the list, killing her and burying her on the beach had been it. Christ. Thank God, I wasn’t that man, but it made me wonder who I had become. I doubted I could change back.’

So just how far will his desires push him to take things in Bind and Keep Me?

To the limit, people. To the limit.

And what can I say about the ending? I’d have thought that Klaus would be a pretty hard act to follow but reading the Bind and Keep Me epilogue, it seems Ms Silverwood is going to crank things up even further with the next Pierced Hearts entry; Chris frightens the cr*p out of me – but oh, hell, do I want to read about him …

MICHAEL’S TAKE

I’ve decided to keep this review as spoiler-free as possible.

So after Jane and I read Take Me, Break Me a few months ago I learned that there was a second book in the Pierced Hearts series. At first I was confused but then I remembered that there were several possible supporting characters who could be featured in the next story.

So when Jane sent me the Bind and Keep Me review copy, I just picked it up and started reading. And found that it featured Jodie and Klaus. I was surprised, obviously, but decided to just go with it and see where we ended up.

And then … Boom! I didn’t see that coming.

What Cari had to do was tricky. Add a third character to the mix. Create someone who was likeable enough that we did care what happened to her. And yet at the same time make her unlikable enough that we didn’t get too upset at what she went through. I think she pretty much succeeded.

I am still trying to process the ending. Did I see it coming? I definitely saw it as a possibility earlier but had kind of eliminated that from the list by the time it happened. How do I feel about it? Honestly, I am still kind of unsure.

I gave Klaus a lot of leeway and the benefit of the doubt the first time around. Truth? He scares me more than a bit now. I am not sure where he is going to draw the line anymore.

Is there room for a third book? Actually, there is. I am not going to make any assumptions next time around, though.

*Please note that advance copies of Bind and Keep Me were supplied free of charge by the author in exchange for a fair review.

Tickle your fancy? Click on the following links to purchase a copy.

Amazon.co.uk

• Bind and Keep Me – Kindle

Amazon.com

• Bind and Keep Me – Kindle

The post Bind and Keep Me – Cari Silverwood appeared first on Behind the Chintz Curtain.

EBOOKS

*The following books were listed as free at the time of this post’s publication. Please double-check that that’s still the case before you hit the download button.

Beg – C.D. Reiss

• Amazon.co.uk – Kindle
• Amazon.com – Kindle

‘If you loved Fifty Shades of Grey or Sylvia Day’s Crossfire series, you’ll love BEG – book one in Songs of Submission…’

In all honesty, that strapline puts me off wanting to download this one (anti-marketing!), but the ratings appear to be pretty solid (most are between three and five stars). I rather like the cover, too.

My name is Monica. I’m a singer born and raised in Los Angeles.

I’ve stopped dating. When I cut a record, or win a Grammy, maybe then I’ll be with someone, but every man in my past has done everything he could to make me submit myself to him, and it’s gotten in the way of my career. I won’t do it again.

But there’s Jonathan. He owns the high-rise hotel where I work, and he is gorgeous and charming. I refuse to fall in love with him, even though when he asks me to submit to him, I want nothing more.

Tempt Me – Isabel Morin

• Amazon.co.uk – Kindle
• Amazon.com – Kindle

A novella that’s likely to push your buttons if you’re after something quick and sexy. Nothing too controversial or challenging. Just good old erotic romance.

Nina Valentine is done with New York. After spending the last year struggling to make it as a painter, all she has to show for it are bills she can’t pay. Out of money and sick of struggling, she decides it’s time to pack it up and head back to her hometown in New Hampshire.

When she meets Ian Sinclair at her going away party, Nina’s instantly attracted to his dark, smoldering looks and lean athletic body. When he asks her back to his apartment, she’s willing to overlook the fact that he’s a high-powered lawyer. It’s just for one night, and guys as gorgeous as Ian don’t come around every day.

Ian has never had a problem getting women into his bed, but after his hot night with Nina, all he wants is more of her. So he makes the curvy painter a deal – stay in the city for a few weeks and he’ll take care of everything.

Nina agrees, even though she knows better than to get attached. He’s a rich corporate suit, she’s a struggling artist. But as the connection between them deepens and Ian takes her to places she’s never been – both in and out of the bedroom – Nina doesn’t know how much longer she can resist.

Deadly Offerings – Alexa Grace

• Amazon.co.uk – Kindle
• Amazon.com – Kindle

Romantic suspense, which is a category I quite enjoy if the story is cleverly executed. This one does sound quite promising – reading the various reviews it seems that it has a quite a broad appeal.

Deadly Offerings is an ebook with a blend of pulsing passion and razor-sharp suspense. It is the first adventure in this sizzling romantic suspense trilogy.

Anne Mason thinks she’ll be safe living in the Midwest building a wind farm. She may be dead wrong. Someone is dumping bodies in her corn field and telling Anne they are gifts—for her!

As the body count rises, Anne realizes a cold-blooded serial killer is patiently waiting and watching her every move. And he won’t stop until he ends her life. It is clear there are no limits to this killer’s thirst for revenge or how far he will go to get it.

After a nasty divorce, Anne Mason does not want to get romantically involved, especially with ex-husband’s attorney, Michael Brandt.

The ruggedly handsome new County Prosecutor is the last person Anne can trust, but may offer her only chance at survival from a psychopathic killer. But will she survive the passion that rages between them?

TOYS

Lovehoney 
Yet another sale from the U.K. sex toy powerhouse with various price categories: £3.00, £5.00, £10.00 and £20.00. (There are some good silicone dildo/vibrator options in the latter band.)

Myla
Have taken up to 70% off selected underwear/lingerie. There are some gorgeous peek-a-boo bras in this line-up, so if you’re after sexy underthings at a serious discount, this is a sale you should definitely investigate.

The post Freebies and Discounts: Begging, peek-a-boo bras, and sub-£20.00 silicone appeared first on Behind the Chintz Curtain.

MICHAEL’S TAKE

I guess it was sort of inevitable if we did this long enough.

A lot of people are comparing this to Captive in the Dark. I can see why. And I can certainly make the case for comparing them. A young woman is kidnapped. Mexico. International human trafficking. An anti-hero with a troubled past. But there comes a point when this has to sink or swim on its own merits. That is where Jane and I disagree.

Probably the biggest difference is Marco. He is a little hard to describe. He’s a monster, right? The evil human trafficker who forces his captives to do his bidding to further his criminal empire. Simple. Only at least some of his slaves delight in serving him, happy that he rescued them from a life of poverty and despair. In fact, at least one is desperately in love with him. And he could have killed our young heroine right at the beginning instead of taking her into his home. And he certainly could have taken her anal virginity … because … well, the reason he didn’t I didn’t quite get. In fact, I found that entire subplot a little odd.

Douglas. Colin Douglas. That doesn’t actually appear in the novel and Colin never got assigned a designation starting with a couple of zeros but the whole MI-6 thing was an interesting choice. But it was such a minor issue that aside from adding some unintended humour it didn’t make much difference.

Angela’s character was obviously inspired by Natalee Holloway. In fact, when Jane suggested this book, I deliberately just started reading without knowing anything about it. So I had no idea what was about to happen although perhaps I should have seen it.

Ultimately it came down to whether I liked Angela and Colin. And I did. They weren’t Livvie and Caleb but they had their own strengths and weaknesses. I was really hoping things would work out for them. And they did – although not without a few twists right up the very end.

I’m sorry this didn’t measure up for Jane but there is always next time.

JANE’S TAKE

I live in the U.K. Granted, I wasn’t born here but I’ve spent the last decade of my life residing and working in Britain and, over time, have become reasonably familiar with all the dialects therein. Although I will never get the hang of Cockney rhyming slang (the first time someone asked me if I ‘fancied a butchers’ I had all sorts of bizarre images going through my head – we were going to some sort of butcher appreciation event? Some sort of sausage festival? Seemed a rather unlikely turn of events given the nature of the conference call we were having …). My point is that I have a semi-reasonable handle on regional accents these days.

I’ve worked with a few Scotsmen. One of my neighbours is from Edinburgh. And I can tell you right now that NONE of them sound remotely like Colin, the Scottish dude in this story. If ‘C’, said neighbour, started talking to me the way Colin does at certain points in Escape from Paradise, I’d probably think she’d been drinking a lot of Glenfiddich. In short, I could count on one hand the times I’ve heard ‘och’, ‘lass’, ‘lassie’, and ‘ken’ come up in conversation with Scottish people my age.

Reading the blurb for Escape from Paradise, I was excited – in fact, this was my reading choice rather than Michael’s. I like dark erotica, non-con in particular, and I thought this was going to be in the vein of C.J. Roberts’ Captive in the Dark, which I adored. Unfortunately, I fell rather heavily from the wagon within the first quarter of the book and just couldn’t get back on it again.

It wasn’t just the dialogue that flipped the off switch for me, but the rather erratic characterisation of both Colin and Marco, neither of which felt believable. The first does a dramatic personality one-eighty in the space of a few paragraphs, albeit due to a major life event (narcissistic party boy to avenging angel) and the latter is, well, just off somehow. (I was incredibly surprised that he didn’t kill Angela at the very beginning. I realise that would have stopped the story dead but, ultimately, that reaction from him to the circumstances would have been far more true to type.) Oh, and the way the police show up and deal with the crime involving Colin’s younger brother at the very beginning of this story? Er. No. It just wouldn’t happen that way here.

“I’m sorry to tell you this,” one of them said softly. “But we must work quickly. Your parents have been murdered and your brother’s gone missing. We’re taking you into custody for your own protection.”

Maybe this book works better for non-U.K. readers? Looking at this review I can see a lot of my gripes are to do with context and setting. For a comparison, it would be like me trying to write in a caricature American accent.

‘Howdy, Michael. Are you swell today? Because, dude, I totally I am. I am a total hot mess. My checking account is full of cooties and there’s a stick shift stuck in my drywall.’

Eh, something went wrong for me, that’s for sure. I wanted another Caleb, another Livvie – and I didn’t get either. Although looking at all the positive reviews Escape from Paradise is getting, it would seem I’m in the disliking minority.

Tickle your fancy? Click on the following links to purchase a copy:

Amazon.co.uk

• Escape from Paradise – Kindle
• Escape from Paradise – Paperback

Amazon.com

• Escape from Paradise – Kindle
• Escape from Paradise – Paperback

The post Escape from Paradise – Gwendolyn Field appeared first on Behind the Chintz Curtain.

Title:

Oh, ho-ho. Michael knocked it out of the park with this joint read-and-review choice. Spanking, D/s, violet wands, vegetable safewords. Funny, hot and totally sexy.

MICHAEL’S TAKE

So Kaylee has been saving up for the moment of her life: a trip to The Castle, the hottest BDSM resort in Central Ohio. She gets to spend three whole days living out her fantasies.

She just has one teeny tiny little problem. She’s no clear idea of what her fantasies will be like in real life. She has never played, never been to a club, never done anything. And she is sure of one thing: if she tells The Truth, admits to her inexperience, she’ll be spending her entire stay in the kiddie pool wearing water wings.

So she lies. Not a big lie. She just wants them to think she has some experience. What could go wrong? It isn’t like they are going to drag her down to an underground dungeon and send in a Hulking Brute in an Executioner’s Mask with a Bullwhip, is it? Okay, so maybe it was a big lie.

What I loved most about this one was how patient the staff were with her. A fantasy doesn’t work out? Sure. No Problem. As soon as she’s dried her tears, they send her back to costuming and try again. (They had so many things to choose from in that department, I don’t think for a moment we saw everything it had to offer.) Not unlike Goldilocks, Kaylee just has to try and try again until she finds the kink that’s just right.

I think the most negative thing I can say about Kaylee’s Keeper is that it’s a little sad that The Castle isn’t actually real.

JANE’S TAKE

Attractive Random Person Dressed in Skydiving Gear: “Jane! Can you skydive?”
Jane: [Hell no, but you look kind of hot so I’ll give it a crack]: “Yes, of course I can! In fact, I used to be an instructor.”
Attractive Random Person Dressed in Skydiving Gear: “Awesome. Grab a parachute and get your arse in that plane over there.”
Jane: [How hard can it be?] “You’ve got it.”

6,000 feet later …

Attractive Random Person Dressed in Skydiving Gear: “Are you okay, Jane? You look kind of green …”
Jane: [Fucking hell this is high!!!] “Oh, fine, fine. I think I had a bad prawn at lunch.”

12,500 feet later …

Attractive Random Person Dressed in Skydiving Gear: “You ready to jump?”
Jane: [FUCK!!!] Totally … absolutely … er … definitely. My, that weather doesn’t look at all good, does it? Maybe we should turn back?”
Attractive Random Person Dressed in Skydiving Gear: “It’s 30 degrees and sunny with no wind.
Jane: [FUCK x 10!] “See! Terrible conditions!”
Attractive Random Person Dressed in Skydiving Gear: “Er, Jane? Are you sure you’ve done this before?
Jane: [Oh, my God. Does Attractive Random Person Dressed in Skydiving Gear suspect something? That I’m not, perhaps, the skydiving goddess he imagines? Act defensive! Put him off the scent!] “How dare you! What exactly are you suggesting?”
Attractive Random Person Dressed in Skydiving Gear: “That you may not know how to skydive?”
Jane: [He’s fishing! Play it cool; there’s no way he can know I’m not telling the truth …] “Now why on earth would you say that?”
Attractive Random Person Dressed in Skydiving Gear: “Well, for starters, you’re strapping yourself to the emergency first aid kit rather than your parachute.”

Have you ever fudged the truth a little? Massaged your C.V. to get that perfect job? Not been entirely honest on that health questionnaire: “How many times a week do you take regular exercise/eat chocolate/drink more than two units of alcohol?” (Never, no, every day, only at Easter, and only at weddings. (Snort.)) Well, Kaylee’s Keeper is all about what happens when a sub pretends to have a little – okay, a lot – more BDSM experience than she actually does (none).

“Have you ever engaged in BDSM play before? Kaylee checked off her answer, yes, and kept going, swallowing back that same slight twinge of guilt that she’d felt back when she first typed that lie. She had never played. Up until now, all of her spankings had been received through fantasy and daydreams.”

I loved this book for a number of reasons. It did a wonderful job of showing that the fantasies in our heads don’t always play out as we imagine they will in real life. It did a wonderful job of showing how important open and honest communication is between partners. It did a wonderful job of showing that we don’t automatically know what will turn us on, that we often discover these things over time, through experience, with patience. Oh, and it absolutely showed why it is never ever a good idea to lie to a Top.

I don’t want to say too much more and ruin this delightful tale for you, but I will confess that the violet wand scene at the end of this story is awesome, as is the one that leads up to and includes Kaylee’s first use of The Castle’s universal safeword, onion. You’ll never look at an Allium cepa in quite the same way again.

Tickle your fancy? Click on the following links to purchase a copy:

Amazon.co.uk

• Kaylee’s Keeper (Masters of The Castle #2) – Kindle

Amazon.com

• Kaylee’s Keeper (Masters of The Castle #2) – Kindle

The post Kaylee’s Keeper (Masters of The Castle #2) – Maren Smith appeared first on Behind the Chintz Curtain.

EBOOKS

*The following books were listed as free at the time of this post’s publication. Please double-check that that’s still the case before you hit the download button.

The Lady Submits – Chloe Cox

• Kindle – Amazon.co.uk
• Kindle – Amazon.com

Loving the premise of this one. (The warning is more of an incitement to read, as far as I’m concerned!)

‘Sometimes a highborn Lady needs to be brought low…

It’s the decadent, raunchy holiday of Bacchanal, and the Lady Lucrezia Grimaldi cannot find a man to satisfy her. Worse, she’s been saddled with the brutish Carlo Castellan as her bodyguard for the last night of Bacchanal. There’s only one thing to do: escape to the fabled House of the Severille…

The imperious Lady Lucrezia expects to sate herself by dominating some poor house slave. What she gets instead is the harsh touch of a Severille Master who will stop at nothing to make the Lady submit. 

The Lady Submits is a 12,000 word erotic historical fantasy novelette featuring strong BDSM themes. If you don’t like bondage, leashes, public display and humiliation, or alpha male doms who brook no dissent, then this probably isn’t for you.’

Strangeville – Kenneth Tingle

• Kindle – Amazon.co.uk
• Kindle – Amazon.com

This one sounds extremely odd, but thoroughly intriguing.

‘Need a good laugh? Strangeville is a different kind of story that draws the reader in and keeps them wondering what will happen next. The story is a dark comedy about a suicidal young man named John Campbell who, after a failed suicide attempt, heads to Virginia to visit an aunt he hasn’t seen in ten years. But his rental car runs out of gas deep in the mountains. When he decides to walk in the middle of the night, he winds up in a town that is isolated from the rest of the world—Strangeville. Unable to leave, he meets an assortment of loveable oddball characters—the beautiful Delilah, Klemm Johnson, Clarissa Puddworthy, Biff Flannigan, Jeboriah Varmint, Cleetus McChoparooski, and others.

So if you want a different kind of reading experience, and you’re tired of the same old cookie-cutter writing, check out Strangeville . Readers love it!’

Covet (Vampire Erotic Theatre Romance Series #1) – Felicity Heaton

• ePub – Kobo 

This could go either way – really good, or really awful. The star rating on Kobo seems decent, though, so I’ve got my fingers crossed for the former. And who could possibly resist the idea of ‘vampire erotic theatre’?)

 ‘They’ve burned for each other for two years, the forbidden attraction between them growing each night. Now resisting the sinful desires of their hearts is becoming impossible.

Javier knows better than to succumb to his hunger for Lilah. The mortal female belongs to a powerful aristocrat patron of Vampirerotique, the theatre he runs with three other vampires. A single touch is all it would take to break the sacred law of his kind, sentencing himself to death, but his passion for her has become too fierce to ignore and he will risk everything to make Lilah his.

Lilah has fought her desire for Javier since arriving at his theatre as a servant but each glance he has stolen, his eyes promising pleasure that will satisfy her longing for him, has chipped away at her defences and she can no longer deny her need and her forbidden feelings for the powerful vampire male.

 When they find themselves alone in a private box during one of the erotic performances, will they surrender to their passion and live out their wildest fantasies in a night of wicked pleasure or will the threat of Lilah’s master keep them apart forever?’

TOYS

ohtique
Are offering up to 50% off selected items, including vibrators, dildos and plugs. Like the full feeling? They’ve reduced the Sportsheets Menage a Trois harness and dildo set from £49.99 to £35.99. A fan of stainless steel toys? The Metal Worx Luv Plug is a smidge under half-price at just £24.00.

Lovehoney
The Lovehoney crew are having a warehouse clearance sale and are offering up to 75% off selected toys and lingerie, including Soft Line Flower Girdle Garter Knickers (reduced from £14.99 to £9.00), the Rocks-Off Finger Tingles clitoral vibrator (reduced from £16.99 to £8.50), and the Jimmyjane Afterglow massage candle in Grapefruit (reduced from £19.99 to £15.00).

SexShop365
Are offering 5% off orders placed with them this week. Use the discount code ‘shiny5’ at checkout. More details here.

The post Freebies and discounts: vampire erotic theatre, stainless steel, wax, and ladies bought low appeared first on Behind the Chintz Curtain.

Madeline Sheehan’s Hell’s Horsemen. Joanna Wylde’s Reapers.

Kurt Sutter’s Sons of Anarchy.

Every so often, a genre will send me on a complete and utter bender. I find something that strikes a chord and that’s it; for as long as I can find the reading material (or in this case, the celluloid) to feed the addiction, I’m a total junkie.

A few weeks back, I bought Madeline Sheehan’s Undeniable, the first book in her series about a biker club known as Hell’s Horsemen. It was, loosely speaking, a romance, but a brutal one. There were a lot of things in it that morally and ethically I didn’t agree with (the treatment of the women, the sanctioning of criminal activity) but the bottom line? It was like my eyes were super-glued to the train-wrecking pages.

Murder? Check.
Extreme violence? Check.
Abuse? Check.
Completely dysfunctional relationships between the characters? Check.
A happy ending? Eh. Well, Eva and Deuce are still breathing at the close.

In short, I haven’t buried myself in a book the way I did with Undeniable for quite a long while. I liked that it wasn’t a conventional romance. That it didn’t colour inside the lines. That I was kind of disgusted with myself for cheering the bad guys. I went and downloaded the second instalment in the series, Unbeautifully (which turned out to be just as compelling), the second I’d finished reading. When I hit the end of that one, though, my genre thirst was in full swing, the need for more of the same clawing at me like a hungry crow. Cue online searches for decent comparable material. My next stop? Joanna Wylde’s Reaper’s Property. More tattooed bad guys on bikes doing, once again, not very nice things. While a lot softer and not quite as deep and textured as Madeline Sheehan’s two offerings, it did go some way to quenching the thirst.

Then the discovery to end all discoveries: Sons of Anarchy.

There’s no denying I’m more of a reader than a TV-watcher but, holy shit, I can’t seem to tear myself away from this thing. It’s everything that made the Hell’s Horsemen books so compelling and then some. Sons is far more stylish, the characters infinitely more engaging, the plot lines far wilder. (Given that the series began in 2008 and is five seasons deep already, I’d be very surprised if it didn’t have at least some influence on Madeline Sheehan’s series, which debuted in October last year). Aided and abetted by Netflix, which is loaded seasons-deep with the lure of episode cliff-hangers to battle against on a daily basis, I’ve been roaring through five-years’ worth of biker drama with barely a pause for breath. The last series I had this kind of obsession with? Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I can recall being heavily pregnant during a re-run season and telling my husband I couldn’t go into labour until after Tubula Rasa, the one in which Buffy and Spike finally hook up, aired. (Yeah, yeah. I know.) Let’s just say that if Sons of Anarchy had been on then, I suspect I would have been 10 months along.

I think what’s pulled me so deeply with this show is the strength of the leading characters. Gemma Teller (played brilliantly by Katey Sagal of Married … with Children fame) is one of the best anti-heroines I’ve come across in a long time and Jax, who plays her son, the perfect knife-edge balance of criminal, bad boy, and gentleman. That deliciously unholy mix of dirty hands and good heart. The cast of slightly eccentric supporting characters is no less engaging. Tig (who reminds me in a lot of ways of Mr Blonde from Reservoir Dogs), the corrupt and completely loveable Chief Unser … they all add to the unusual (and sometimes unsavoury) SOA flavour. It’s not as tightly plotted as, say, The Sopranos, but the rawness of the Sons of Anarchy draws like a magnet. Oh, and the music? Well, this girl’s a die-hard rock chick and there are some beautiful, beautiful originals and covers to go with the drama (see my title clip choice), although I wish the sound team would stop plaything thrashy rock whenever the Sons ride down the highway.

I will nearly always push a book over a TV programme. But I’m going to break my rule for Sons of Anarchy.

In the words of Neil Young: Hey hey, my my.

Need an MC fix? Pick your poison …

• Sons of Anarchy – Amazon.co.uk
• Sons of Anarchy – Amazon.com
• Undeniable – Amazon.co.uk
• Undeniable – Amazon.com
• Unbeautifully – Amazon.co.uk
• Unbeautifully – Amazon.com
• Reaper’s Property – Amazon.co.uk
• Reaper’s Property – Amazon.com

The post The Crow Flies Straight – A Sam Crow Love Affair appeared first on Behind the Chintz Curtain.

TOYS AND LINGERIE

Agent Provocateur
AP is one of my favourite, favourite under-thing brands but at full-price their stuff, while beautiful, is death on the old wallet. This is definitely the time to buy. These corset-style Ilya Big Briefs? Reduced from £110 to £55.  This Mercy Waspie? £185 to £95. These Syble tie-side knickers (similar to the ones I wore in my Sinful Sunday pic a while back)? Reduced to £35 from £65.

Coco de Mer
Is offering up to 50% off selected items, including lingerie, bondage/fetish wear and sex toys. There are some beautiful, beautiful items in this sale, including FYI’s Binding Briefs (£64.00), the Coco de Mer Jade Petite Rosebud Small Butt Plug (£60.00), the DL & Co Lady Rhubarb Ombre Collection Scented Candle (£32.00) and this beautiful Crystal Flogger from Bo’s Tit Bits (£98.00).

Figleaves
Loads and loads of sizes and styles to choose from in this one. The Midnight Grace underwired smoothing slip is now £32. £6.40 for a pair of Butterfly Blue flirty frill ruffle mesh shorts (very cute cut at the rear!) Elle MacPherson Intimates Desert Heat Torsolette? Reduced from £75 to £45.

EBOOKS

As ever, the following books were listed as free at the time of this post’s publication. Please double-check that that’s still the case before you hit the download button.

Secret Story Time: More Filthy Fantasies – Jason Jaxx

• Amazon.co.uk
• Amazon.com 

Threesomes, spanking and fantasy. Absolutely no idea what the writing is like in this one but the ratings seem to be positive.

‘A compilation of erotic tales, packed with sizzling, unrelenting, graphic action. Explicit erotica designed for providing pleasure featuring threesomes, spanking, fantasy, and enough hot sex to satisfy a variety of tastes.’

A Bit of Bite – Cynthia Eden

• Kobo ePub 

Paranormal romance rather than erotica but Cynthia Eden is a popular author so I suspect that the quality of the writing in this short (it’s 11,000 words long) will be half-way decent.

‘A killer is stalking the streets of Crossroads, Mississippi, and it’s up to Sheriff Ava Dushaine to stop him. But when suspicion falls on werewolf alpha Julian Kasey—Ava’s ex-lover and the man who still haunts her dreams—Ava knows that she’ll either have to prove his innocence…or watch the whole town go up in flames.’

The Business of Pleasure – Justine Elyot

• Amazon.co.uk
• Amazon.com 

I’ve read this one before and can thoroughly, thoroughly recommend it. The writing is excellent and the sexual encounters in it are hot, hot, hot. Make sure you have some, er, relief handy.

‘If one call could set you on a trail to the heart of your darkest fantasy, would you make it? Charlotte does, and her bold decision propels her into a world where no desire is too outrageous, decadent or extravagant to be satisfied, for a price. Her own fantasy life merges with reality when she is hired to work for the shadowy organisation she first encountered as a client. She organises an array of wild set pieces involving banquets, film productions, mansions full of pleasure slaves, as well as thoroughly researching those requests that chime with her own kinky tastes. Two men, one woman, and every sexual fantasy imaginable, these are the ingredients that make up the business of pleasure.’

Wishing you all a wonderful, sexy weekend.

Jane xxx

The post Freebies and discounts: half-price lingerie and The Business of Pleasure appeared first on Behind the Chintz Curtain.