Me!

Roleplay. It’s not a kink I know a lot about or tend to indulge in. Not because I have anything against it but because it just doesn’t really push any of my hot buttons. Why not? Well, I’m kind of inclined to think that because it’s taken so long to get to the point where I’m comfortable with the kinks that do rev my engine, I don’t want to pretend.

I want to just be me.

Raw.

As I am.

In fact, the things that I tend to find the most powerful in a D/s context involve being stripped back to nothing, all ‘other’ gone, both mentally and physically.

We once attended an impact play class that, unexpectedly, included a small roleplay element and, of all the things my other half and I have tried and done together over the years, adopting alternate personas proved to be one of the most difficult and challenging. Discussing the merits of a wooden paddle in front of ten others? No problem. Pretending to be a helpless stowaway on a bad-ass pirate ship? Well, let’s just say I got pretty desperate for him to make me walk the plank and put us both out of our misery. Tongues became tied, faces red, and all of a sudden we weren’t quite sure what to do with one another. Quite simply, roleplaying threw us.

Is it, perhaps, a personality thing? Maybe. I was never the kid who auditioned for the school drama production; playing another person just doesn’t come naturally to me and I think the need to be myself overrules everything else, no matter how titillating or deliciously debauched the scenario. Says Mollena Williams, who wrote a really fabulous piece on roleplaying in Tristan Taormino’s The Ultimate Guide to Kink:

‘I am, among many things, an actor and a performer, and I have been practicing my craft professionally since I was about four years old. But even for me, with a lifetime of formal training and experience under my belt, turning up the heat in bed by playing make-believe games can sometimes feel awkward, vulnerable, or difficult.’

This sums it up perfectly. There’s a certain vulnerability to roleplaying and I just don’t think I’m fearless enough to put myself out there like that. Yep, I’m a scaredy cat.

Do I think that engaging in D/s is a form of roleplay? I can’t answer for others but for me it’s most definitely not. I don’t step into another personality or adopt a character that isn’t already a part of me. I simply let another side of my regular self loose.

Having said all this, though, I should make it clear that I absolutely have fantasies; things and situations that I imagine or dream about. Some of which will remain in my head as lovely dark secrets and others, less fanciful, that will, perhaps, see the light of day. But all of these imaginings tend to involve me being, well, me – faults, flaws and all.

Title image: Th. van den Brink (Beeld en Geluidwiki – Gallery: Pipo de clown)

The post Kink of the Week: Tonight, I’m going to be … appeared first on Behind the Chintz Curtain.

What we used: Pony Play Butt Plug Whip (small)
Brand: Doc Johnson
From: UberKinky
Price: £19.99
Material(s): plug – PVC (latex-free, phthalate-free); tail whip – synthetic (unspecified)

If you like the idea of a butt plug with a little decoration, or have a penchant for pony play, the Doc Johnson Pony Play Butt Plug Whip may be all the excuse you need to mount up.

First thoughts …

Lizzie
The very first butt plug I ever tried – quite a few years back now – was a Doc Johnson offering and it looked very, very similar to this one – albeit slightly larger and without the glossy black tail sprouting from the base. I really liked that old plug, so was very much looking forward to trying this one out.

The first word that sprang to mind looking at this toy? Cute! It’s a very manageable size and the tail gives it lovely kinky little twist. Pony play isn’t one of my particular kinks but I do love the idea of decorative butt plugs, so the Pony Play Butt Plug Whip fits that bill perfectly.

Thomas
This is a small butt plug, not much bigger than a finger. It does have a large base, though – which is essential, as you don’t want to lose your toy while in use! The tail ‘hair’ (if you can call it that) is attached to the latter and made from rather wiry plastic stands. Honestly, it’s not the most pleasantly tactile material I’ve ever come across but the choice of synthetic does herald easy cleaning.

The construction …

Lizzie
The butt plug itself is made of nice, soft PVC, which, in my experience, is important if you’re new to anal play/anal sex. Why? Because it has a bit of give to it and that makes a plug slightly easier to ‘take’ when it’s being inserted. (Glass, steel and ceramic plugs don’t compress in the same way.) The only downside is that it has a slight plasticky smell about it, although this isn’t particularly strong.

Size-wise, this butt plug is very unassuming. It has an insertable length of 9.5 centimetres (3.75 inches) and a diameter of 2.5 centimetres (1 inch). In real terms, that’s just slightly bigger than the average masculine index finger. A perfect size if you’re a beginner.

The tail is attached to the base of the plug and made of what looks to be strands of black nylon, which are approximately 40 centimetres (15.75 inches) in length.

Thomas
The plug is much the same as others we have used except for the tail, which looks to be well attached. It’s a very simple toy, really; you just need to make sure you clean it well before and after use with hot water, anti-bac soap, and toy cleaner. The widest point of the butt plug is not much larger than the tip, so it’s not particularly intimidating.

Using it

Lizzie
Thomas took my by surprise with this one because I’d completely forgotten that the tail on this butt plug could be used as a whip. The first time he struck me with it I was blindfolded and got very confused about what was actually making contact with me. (I know all the toys in our toy box extremely well and can generally tell straight away which one he’s using on me – sight or no sight.) The impact was very mild in the scheme of things but because the whip strands are synthetic, you do get the merest hint of a sting from the ends if there’s enough force behind the blow.

Because I’m used to anal sex and other anal toys, inserting the actual butt plug section wasn’t a problem for me but all the usual golden rules applied: lots and lots of lube, warm up with fingers first, relax. However, once it was inserted I did encounter something new.

Over the years, Thomas and I have tried out a lot of butt plugs but they’ve all generally been medium in size. Because the Pony Play Butt Plug Whip is relatively slender and doesn’t have a particularly deep groove at the base to lodge it in the same way as a larger plug, I really had to work to hold it in place. For some people, this might be a minus but for us, this actually gave us the opportunity to play a rather nice game: If I dropped the plug, I got a punishment. If I kept it in place, I got a reward. (Although the ‘reward’ was a double-edged sword as I had to try and hold the damn thing in whilst having an orgasm – and that wasn’t particularly easy!)

I did like feeling the brush of the tail against my legs but for obvious reasons I can’t say how it looked from an in-situ aesthetics perspective. I do know, however, that contracting my internal muscles to hold the butt plug in place caused the tail to twitch – and Thomas definitely liked the look of that.

Thomas
After a good clean with toy cleaner to start (essential) and giving Lizzie a proper warm-up it was time to try it out.

First up, a bit of anticipatory whipping. The plug made a decent handle and was quite good to hold onto, but the hair tail didn’t have a lot of weight to it so I needed to get a good swing going to give Lizzie a reasonable flick. With that in mind, I wouldn’t rave about it but it’s a decent whip for more sensitive areas or those who want a lighter touch.

The butt plug. As with all anal play, the rule is too much lube is about the right amount. I wasn’t overly gentle inserting this toy as Lizze is used to both anal sex and slightly larger items, so after a copious amount of lube was applied to the plug and her, in it went. Generally, I like to tease Lizzie as I insert anal toys, usually holding them at the widest point for a few seconds to get the best reaction out of her. As this plug had a relatively small girth, though, the effect when I did this was not as great and her reaction was rather muted. I also noticed she was having trouble holding it in (not an issue with larger plugs) due to the very shallow ridge between the body and the base stem, which is there – in theory – to seat the plug and stop it sliding out. So as Lizzie mentioned above, I decided we’d play a game of ‘hold it in or else’, which was quite fun. Her failure involved several punishments for disobedience and there were several rewards for complying – which, in turn, caused her to fail. (It’s a difficult job but someone has to teach her.)

As for the look, pony play has never been my thing, although I do like riding ;-). And I must say Lizzie looked very fetching with a tail; seeing her wearing this plug was undoubtedly a turn on for me – especially when she made strands of hair move with her efforts to keep hold of it.

I think if the plug was larger (and less likely to fall out) there would be more you could do with the tail (tugging, pulling, leading, etc.) so if you or your partner can cope with a bit more width, I’d suggest going for this toy in the next size up (medium).

The verdict?

Lizzie
An adorable little butt plug that will appeal to those who enjoy role play – pony play in particular – and/or those who like their anal toys with a bit of decoration. The plug section of this toy is a perfect size for beginners, but be aware that you’ll need to do some work with your internal muscles to hold it in place. (If you want a plug that goes in and stays in without any effort on the wearer’s part, you might want to opt for the Pony Play Butt Plug Whip in medium rather than small. Keep in mind, though, that you will need to stretch more to accommodate the wider diameter.)

Thomas
I nice little plug, good for beginners, or if you are into pony play and want something easy on the bottom. I don’t think it would satisfy anyone who’s keen on anal play for too long as it is quite small and the tendency to fall out could be annoying. I also suspect those who’re into pony play in a serious way may want something with more realistic hair. But, like we have said, it’s a good starter.

In summary …

Things we liked …

• The plug material. It’s not too firm and gives a little upon insertion.
• The ‘accessible kink’ factor. From a purely functional perspective, this is a very mild toy but it covers a lot of bases: anal sex and decoration, whips, and role play. You can use it for just one of these things – or all three.
• The colours. The contrast of the red plug and black tail is very pleasing.

Things we weren’t so keen on …

• The PVC odour, but that’s a very minor quibble.
• This plug does require the wearer to hold it in place, so the Pony Play Butt Plug Whip in medium would be a better choice for those who want a more secure fit.
• The ‘hair’ is okay for a whip, but not very tail-like.

Tickle your fancy? Click here to buy the Pony Play Butt Plug Whip (in small and medium) from UberKinky.

*Please note that this item was provided free of charge by UberKinky in exchange for a fair review.

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