Photo courtesy of Sex with Rose

Welcome to e[lust] - The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at e[lust]. Want to be included in e[lust] #56? Start with the rules, come back March 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

Why I Post Nude Photos (and blog about sex)
Discovering Myself Through My Strap-On
Sex Toy Shaming and Bigoted Wise Cracks, FTW!

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Aftercare and BDSM Play
Two worlds

~ Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*

Erotic Fiction

Come Again
Undiluted
Shudder
Tattoo
And When I Take You…..
Ride on the Night bus
Superotica Valentine – Day 1
The spelling lesson

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Please let me just say “no.”
5 Easy Mistakes to Make While Flirting
SexyLittleIdeas – The Woman in the Dark Alley
Comparisons
Treasured Property
Supporting Love and Freedom
Predicting My Own Future
Let’s Go Down Again
How to eat my pussy
10 (non-sexual) ways to be intimate with your
Permission to be Human: Granted.
Squirting: What Science Says

Erotic Non-Fiction

Date with V. (N. Likes)
Luscious
Saving Movie Night
Wicked Wednesday: Nervous
The Painter
Stolen Moments Turn Into Treasured Memories
The Art of the Blow Job and Deepthroat
Stun Guns & Happiness
Fatal’s First Time (with a Hitachi)
First Session
Probation Officer #145: Bowre of blisse 9
Trust Games

Blogging

you will ask Me to fuck your ass
Fish & Chips
This is not an invitation
Men I Have Known
My Storyyy (Trigger Warning)

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

More Than Whips and Chains
Being shouted at: kink or abuse?
Explaining violence and sex
Awww Yeah – Targeted Marketing!
Grass is always greener – swinging
Lazy Dog Sex Position

Sex News,Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Valentine’s Day Sex Toy Selections
Discovering My Sexuality
Pathologizing Male Aggression

Poetry

Sex is…

The post e[lust] #55 appeared first on Behind the Chintz Curtain.

Photo courtesy of Property of Potter

Welcome to e[lust] - The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at e[lust]. Want to be included in e[lust] #52? Start with the newly updated rules, come back November 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

7 (Random!) Suggestions for Dominant Types!

Pain Positive

i know what you are.

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Golden Girl

Have You Met Larry

~ Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*

Poetry

Shown
To Punt or Not To Punt, That is the Question

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

SexyLittleIdeas – Why PUA Is Like Feminism
Understanding When His Glass is Full
To Minxy Malone, Thanks For Everything
Biting the Bun
The List (is a waste of time)
Confronting Your Sense of Entitlement
What Do You Prefer: Cut or Uncut?
My Secret Relationship with Max
Quaint Little Categories
Erectile dysfunction isn’t a big deal

Erotic Fiction

Property Procured
The Delight of Leather
Christmas Eve Surprise
Granny’s Door
Lolita Twenty-Thirteen, Part Nine
Jessica
The Edge of the Park
Trust
The Blood Mage’s Sacrifice
The Spanking Paddle-Off
Used, Using, Endless

Erotic Non-Fiction

I Want You To
Love like a lotus
Bend to my will
Spanked
How you helped me to stray
Little Lightening Bolts v. Rayne’s Clit
Master’s Fuck Toy
Conflict
Tease For Two
Memories of Spunk
“It’s total perfection.”
Fucking a Girl with a Double Dildo

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

Insatiable Whore
Thoughts: Submissive Journals
Bondage vs. restraint
Dominant and Submissive “Fix”
Baring It All
Blow Job Submission – A spicy twist
Quickstart Guide
Struggling with sub drop

Sex News, Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

American Tantra is Full of Shit
Really, Riddick? Really?

Blogging

My nudity

Events

CatalystCon Part 1: Dildos, dildos, dildos

The post e[lust] #51 appeared first on Behind the Chintz Curtain.

Welcome to e[lust] - The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at e[lust]. Want to be included in e[lust] #51? Start with the newly updated rules, come back October 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

When the sex isn’t great

The Least You Can Do

I don’t know how to dominate

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

TO THE MAN WHO OWNS MY SUBMISSION

Why I Need Him There.

~ Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

First lesbian love

Erotic Non-Fiction

Dressing Up for Master
2 nights of great sex – Monday
Marking My Body
Let’s Get It On
Better Lucky Than Good
starry night
Master’s Filthy Whore
Silence
Watching
Eat Dust
We Made a Sex Tape
Incapable of Thinking
Spank Bank

Erotic Fiction

Hickory, dickory, dock…
Oatmeal and Almost Orgasms
Classroom Adventure
The Inspection
The Hood
Opportunity Knocks
Little Red
Remember Me
Scorched Flesh
Awakening
Lolita Twenty-Thirteen, Part Eight
So Easily Bruised
Under the Desk

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

The Q&A’s of Stainless Steel Sex Toys
Triggers and PTSD
Palate Cleanser
Relationships: Is a sexless marriage normal?
Why Premature Ejaculation is Hot
Casual Encounters on trains and at stations
I wouldn’t really class a client as a lover

Blogging

Introducing Me
Why Bad Sex Toy Reviews Are Important
You never know who you’re going to meet.

Poetry

I want. . .
The Grand Old Duke of York …

Sex News, Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Penis Truths

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

Strap-on Sex & Empowerment
Never Thought
Two Cocks, One Mouth, One Excited Jade
Aural Sex
Why I Stay Silent
Sub in Space
Hotter Sex Through Intellect
Nazisploitation and how it relates to BDSM
Service and Ritual
No Stupid (Kink) Questions: Episode 18 – SSC
Kink of the week: Exhibitionism
Pegging: Fun for men, awesome for women

Photo courtesy of Down the Rabbit Hole

The post e[lust] #50 appeared first on Behind the Chintz Curtain.

Image: Maja desnuda censurata by Twice25 (via Wikimedia Commons)

Adult content. Pornography. Legal. Criminal. Consensual. Fantasy. Responsible parenting. Child abuse.

What do these words and terms mean to you? How do they make you feel? And if I asked you to separate them into ‘Good’ and ‘Bad’ buckets, what would you put where?

In the wake of the U.K. government’s plans to default censor pornography (David Cameron announced last week that all British households will be required to ‘opt in’ if they wish adult content to appear in search results), these questions will become more and more pertinent. Everyone, and I mean everyone, regardless of whether they feel they’re directly affected by these proposed changes, needs to be asking themselves ‘How do I feel about government imposed censorship?’ and ‘What value do I place on my right to discover legal content on the Internet?’

I’m willing to bet money on the fact that any normal, well-adjusted person reading this post will have put ‘criminal’ and ‘child abuse’ into the ‘Bad’ bucket and ‘legal’, ‘consensual’, ‘fantasy’ and ‘responsible parenting’ into the ‘Good’ bucket. But where did you put ‘adult content’? Where did you put ‘pornography’?

Up front and in a loud, shouty voice: I do not, for one minute, condone any pornographic content that is produced illegally, without the actors’ consent, or features children. Anyone who has any sort of involvement in that kind of sick sh*t needs to be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. Legally produced pornography, however, is another matter entirely. By definition, it is just that – legal – and it’s a dangerous and slippery road we travel down if we decide that governments have the right to automatically restrict our access to material that may make us uncomfortable but ultimately complies with the law.

I will be blunt: as far as titillation goes, visual pornography is not my thing. I come across it on my travels around the web and usually keep moving right along – I far prefer to explore sexual fantasy in text form. But the fact that legal pornography doesn’t work for me, that it is not a hot button in my particular case, in no way means that I have the right to tell another responsible adult that they cannot source and enjoy it. That would be projecting my own tastes and values on someone else and I have absolutely no right to do that. Do I see legal content on the Internet that offends me? All the time – and do you know what I do? I click away. The same way that I put a book down if the content is objectionable, switch off a television programme I dislike.

‘But isn’t this move about protecting children?’ I hear you say. ‘Won’t all this default censorship better shield them from the cocktail of sexual content lurking just a few key taps and mouse clicks away?’

For about five minutes. If we, as parents, think for one second that this move is going to absolve us from teaching out children about online safety, sex and sexual responsibility then we need our heads read. We live in a digital age and we need to get our heads around that. Fast. What happens when they go to another child’s house to play, those filters are switched off and they’re surfing the web unsupervised? What happens when they discover how to deactivate the filter on your home computer and have a good old poke around when you’re in the kitchen cooking supper? There is no substitute for age-appropriate discussions about sex and what is morally right and wrong. No substitute for providing a frank and thorough education about the online space and what they may or may not discover there. Frankly, I have more immediate concerns about the content on the various music video channels, which is readily available, at any time of day, via a digital T.V. box.

It is my job as a mum, as a responsible parent, to make sure that I educate and supervise my kids, ensure to the best of my ability that they are not exposed to pornography, and not rely on the government to semi-babysit them at the expense of normal, law-abiding adults. Because what the government is basically saying with this proposed legislation is that we, as a nation, cannot be trusted to turn on a filter system on our own, and that porn and the people who engage with it are bad, lumping them in with all those who are truly criminal. Nice.

What I would like to know is how this censoring is going to stop child pornography, because that, to my mind, is the issue that needs urgent attention. Tell me, Mr Cameron: how is this default filter going to stop those who are putting it online and those who watch it? How will it help with prosecutions? What are you doing to teach young people about online safety in schools and (controversial suggestion ahead), at the appropriate age, about ‘good’ versus ‘bad’ porn? Are we giving children any tools to cope, teaching them what to do if they discover the latter? Do they know how to report it?

What has also become very clear from all the commentary out there is that many people are confusing legal and illegal content. Further, we don’t seem to be able to distinguish between fantasy and real life:

‘Possessing pornography that depicts simulated rape is to become a criminal offence in England and Wales to make Britain a place where there is a “sense of right and wrong”.’

– via The Independent

Remember that word I used at the beginning of this piece, ‘consensual’? It’s sitting in your ‘Good’ bucket, yes? Well, let’s for a moment attach it to the word ‘fantasy’, also on the ‘Good’ sheet. ‘Yes, yes, Jane,’ I hear you say, ‘That’s perfectly all right with me. Consensual fantasy. Totally acceptable.’ Okay, then. Now imagine that the fantasy involves consensual non-consent between adults – by which I mean that the participants willingly choose to play out a non-consent scenario. What is your stance now? Keep in mind that none of the elements in these fantasies can be attached to the two things we’ve placed in the ‘Bad’ bucket, ‘criminal’ (there’s consent) and ‘child abuse’ (only of age adults are involved). My point here is that this scenario may make you feel uncomfortable – it may make you squirm more than a little – but it is, nonetheless, a consensual fantasy, and one that the participants or observers have every right to engage with or in. (You can read a brilliant article about this very topic on Musing of Rose’s blog; she herself is a rape survivor, and she articulates the complexities of such a scenario far more eloquently than I ever could.) I am not saying for one minute that some people won’t find this particular proposition offensive or that rape is ever acceptable in real life – rather that we have the right to engage or not engage in consensual fantasies of this type. And I’m not the only one who thinks this; per the Twitter account of author and columnist Louise Mensch:

‘It is not for our government to police consensual simulation, between adults, of one of women’s most common fantasies. I would hope that any such law would be challenged in the courts and fail in the courts. It is inhuman. Rape and rape fantasy not the same.’

I have to wonder, if the government pursues this line of thought, are they  going to go after the Mills & Boon back catalogue, which throughout the 80s and 90s featured the awful ‘rape plot’ device? In my opinion, the messages in those books promoted a far more damaging idea (‘rape as romance’).

And this leads me on to my next point: copy.

I can’t help but notice that the media hoopla surrounding this whole pornography crackdown has focussed largely on the Big P in its visual form, that there has been very little said about text. Will these measures affect the written word? What about short stories, books and articles? Will these filtered by search engines, too?

According to David Cameron:

‘It will depend on how the filters work.’

– via The Independent

Well, that clears that up then. And who, may I ask, will be deciding what is pornographic? Who, pray tell, is going to become our moral compass? What exactly will be included on the hit list? Sex education blogs? Sexual health sites? Erotic romance bookstores? Sex toy retailers? Fetlife? Blogs just like this one? (I had a friend recently tell me she got a pop-up warning saying that Behind the Chintz Curtain was a ‘porn’ site. Wow. News to me.) Oh, and I read non-con erotica. Am I going to be prosecuted for having C.J. Roberts’ Captive in the Dark on my bookshelf?

Freedom of speech and expression are not always comfortable. But we cannot just choose to be liberal with the easy stuff. We’re very lucky that, up until now, we have automatically been given the opportunity to decide what we see when we search for material online. (At this moment in time, you can choose to visit this site, read this post, decide I am or I’m not talking complete rubbish, and stay or leave.) But if we let this type of default censorship become the norm, where does it stop? Per Molly Moore and Harper Eliot: First they came for the pornographers – but who’s next?

I’ll leave you with this map of world Internet censorship below; I suspect that the U.K. isn’t going to be green for much longer …

Image: via Wikimedia Commons

The post Sense, Sensibility and Censorship appeared first on Behind the Chintz Curtain.

He’d just started reading a new BDSM-themed erotica (which shall remain nameless) and made the fatal mistake of giving me an overview of the first chapter. All was going well until he mentioned the dreaded word ‘contract’, at which point he found himself engulfed in a storm of virtual babble – okay, ranting – that probably made him extremely thankful that we live in different countries and therefore ensured he didn’t have to listen to it in person (sorry, Michael):

‘Wow, that’s a lot of information in a single chapter! But do you know what my eye went straight to? The mention of another bloody contract! Contracts, contracts, contracts! If one more author writes about a contract I am going to … Well, I don’t know what, but it will likely involve a judge’s gavel being used on the offending book in the same manner that Basil Fawlty uses that tree branch on his car.’

And just in case that last reference is a British ‘in’ joke (I’m not sure how many countries had Fawlty Towers), this is what I’m talking about:

Attention authors! I don’t want to read about legal documents! They don’t turn me on! You do not need one to convey that your characters are in a relationship that involves power exchange. Really. You don’t. Just as villains don’t need to be dressed in black in order to convey their ‘badness’ and heroes in ‘white’ to denote their ‘goodness’, people who engage in BDSM aren’t all running off willy-nilly to their lawyers and defining their relationships through legalese. And if I was that desperate to get off on legal jargon I’d visit the solicitor in my local village and get him to lend me a conveyancing agreement.

I WANT WELL-CRAFTED EROTICA – NOT PAGES OF CLAUSES.

My husband does not take me to bed and spout legal jargon to get me in the mood. Nor does he make me read the folder of deeds to our house.

I am not saying that contracts – not to be confused with limit lists and negotiation forms – don’t exist in power exchange relationships. I am sure they do and that they work perfectly well for those who draw them up. But having one is not mandatory and, as Molly Moore said so eloquently in her Myth Busting: the Submissive Woman seminar at Eroticon earlier this month, if they are used, they ‘are rarely a standard rent agreement’.

I think we all know who, or rather what, we have to blame for this bat-sh*t obsession with ‘erotic’ paperwork. Yes, That Book. That great, grey brick of a thing whose name I dare not speak, because, frankly, it’s becoming a little bit like Voldemort:

‘Who gave you that scar?’

‘E.L. bloody James with all her talk of legal agreements and protagonists who have to be ‘damaged’ to engage in BDSM, that’s who.’

If only I had an Elder Pen to wave – or perhaps an Unforgiveable Manuscript Curse to make all this silliness disappear. (What would that be called, I wonder? Editora Kedavra?)

Hmm. Maybe I should recreate the Basil Fawlty moment above with a copy of You-Know-What and a nice, long rattan can. If only my technical skills were up to the job and I could get over the idea of destroying a perfectly good book.

It’s tempting, though. Very, very tempting …

The post I do not get turned on by legal jargon appeared first on Behind the Chintz Curtain.

Hello Touch May Be the Best Sex Toy Ever Invented
Source: Gizmondo

Behold. A tens machine for your hands.

I think most of us would agree that our fingers are one of the most satisfying masturbatory tools at our disposal. Something that hasn’t gone un-noticed by luxury sex toy brand Jimmyjane, who have taken the humble digit and turned it into a vibrator.

Looking at the pictures in this article, I have to say that, visually, the Hello Touch doesn’t do a lot for me (it looks a bit medical) but I do like fingers to play a significant role in sex, so I’m willing to be convinced.

Having had a quick look around, it doesn’t seem that any of the big toy retailers have the Hello Touch in stock yet, but if you’re absolutely desperate to get your hands on one immediately, you can purchase directly from Jimmyjane for USD $65.00.

NB: article author, Jesus Diaz, hits the nail on the head regarding the iPod style product shots; not sure that we can expect U2 and Lenny Kravitz to be fronting the ad campaign any time soon, though.

A Brit of what you fancy
Source: The Sun

I tweeted about this article earlier in the week, so some of you may have seen it already, but the gist of it is:

• Midlanders like to have sex outside (clearly, the British weather is no barrier to arousal);
• Londoners like to read smut (don’t we all).
• The V&A has some interesting CCTV footage (somewhere, a security guy is watching an intriguing security tape).

Worth reading for the pun-licious strapline, which includes the brilliant terms ‘Land’s End Away’ and ‘John O’Gropes’, if nothing else.

Eroticon schedule
Source: www.writesexright.com

The Eroticon schedule for 2013 has now been published.

Taking place in London on Saturday 2 March and Sunday 3 March, this conference brings together sex writers and bloggers from the U.K. and abroad, and is a great way to learn something new and network with other like-minded individuals.

I’m particularly excited to see the following people on the ‘speaker’ list: sex blogger Molly Moore (NSFW), who I think is just fabulous; erotica writer and editor, Rachel Kramer Bussel; and the creator of Toy with me Tuesday, Nymphomaniac Ness.

Tickets are available for one or both days and can be bought from the Eroticon 2013 Website.

The post Alert Me: turning your fingers into vibrators, sexy Midlanders, and Eroticon 2013 appeared first on Behind the Chintz Curtain.