Tag: Lizzie & Thomas

25

This story is about a little vibrator. Her name is Gigi

What we used: Gigi rechargeable G-Spot vibrator
From: LELO
Price: £53.90 – £69.00 (depending on retailer)
Material(s): Body safe silicone (main shaft) and plastic (base)

 

Do good things come in small packages? Lizzie shares her thoughts on Gigi, LELO’s rechargeable G-Spot vibrator, who she’s been getting to know for a while now.

 

First thoughts …

Lizzie
As you may know from reading my A not-so-Happy Rabbit review, I’ve been using vibrators – alone and with Thomas – for quite some time. But Gigi was a bit of a departure for me because, at the time I bought this little G-Spot gem, it represented a number of firsts. One, it was made by LELO, a brand I’d not tried before. Two, it wasn’t a rabbit (and up until Gigi’s arrival, all my vibes had ears). Three, it was the smallest vaginal vibrator I had ever purchased. Gigi was a bit of stab-in-the-dark, to be perfectly frank; I’d just divorced my latest rabbit – things hadn’t worked out between us – and I was desperate to find a vibrator I enjoyed using again. Continue reading →

13

C is for clitoris, C is for clip

 

What we used: Clitoral clip/clitoral clamp
From: Sh! Women’s Erotic Emporium
Price: £6.00
Material(s): metal (unspecified), fabric (unspecified), plastic (unspecified)

Earlier this week, we reviewed Japanese clover nipple clamps. Today, Lizzie ventures below the waist with a clit clip from Sh! Women’s Erotic Emporium.

First impressions …

Lizzie
As you probably gathered from my last Toy Box post, I particularly enjoy the sensation of clamped nipples, so taking things a little lower was a logical progression for me. I also quite like the idea of clitoral decoration but am too much of a chicken to get anything pierced, so a clit clip seemed like a nice compromise.

This particular clip is an own-brand item from Sh! Women’s Erotic Emporium and arrives without an extraneous branding; the packaging is simple, utilitarian and, accordingly, female-friendly. (Unlike the clover clamps I reviewed recently, there’s no porn star displaying the clip in a raunchy pose, or laugh-out-loud back-of-box-copy talking about ‘excitement areas’.)

The clit clamp itself is very simple in design – a 6.5 centimetre (2.56 inch) metal clip that looks very much like an oversized hairpin with two strings of pink plastic beads, each measuring 4 centimetres (1.57 inches) attached to its looped ends. It’s very unintimidating, to be perfectly frank – no springs, screws or sliding parts – and looks like something you’d keep in your jewellery rather than your toy box. Weight-wise, the clit clip is very light, tipping the scales at a mere three grams, so there’s no need to worry that you’re going to be trying to accommodate something the size of a Christmas decoration between your legs. Continue reading →

10

Squeeze. Tease. The agony and ecstasy of nipple clamps

What we used:  Squeezer Teaser clover nipple clamps
From: Lovehoney
Price: £7.99
Material(s): metal (unspecified) and nylon

Intrigued by nipple clamps but not sure if they’re for you? Lizzie gives her opinion of You2Toys’ Squeezer Teaser clover clamps.

*This post is NSFW (not suitable for work) as it does contain an image of a bare breast and a nipple (shock horror). If you choose to read on, please take the time to peruse the Behind the Chintz Curtain disclaimer before doing so.

First thoughts …

Lizzie
I’m quite a fan of nipple clamps but I’ve always had a bit of a thing for the pleasure/pain dynamic, so I guess that shouldn’t be a surprise to me. However, this is the first set of Japanese clovers or ‘butterfly’ clamps that I’ve tried – previously, Thomas and I have stuck with the tweezer design – and I’m dying to see if I can handle them because, from an intensity perspective, they’re pretty near the top of the tree when it comes to pressure. Just how intense will they be? Will they be too much? Will I back out?

The packaging …

Lizzie
Ye gads. This is tacky sex toy packaging at its best. A woman sitting on the bonnet of what I can only assume is a police car and wearing nothing but a fake policeman’s hat and the Squeezer Teaser clamps on her extremely large nipples. Oh, and sporting the obligatory heavily deforested pubic area. The bit that has me in stitches, though? The hilarious ‘crime tape’ graphic emblazoned across the lower half of her body with the words ‘excitement area’. Continue reading →

30

Do TheyFit? The new frontier: custom-fitted condoms

What we used: TheyFit custom-fitted condoms
From: TheyFit
Price:  £6.99 for a pack of six
Material(s): Latex

Custom-fitted suits? Pfft. So last year. You can now buy condoms tailored to the length and width of your penis. Thomas gets the opportunity to try out TheyFit’s unique ‘sized service’.

First thoughts …

Thomas
I have to admit that when Jane got in touch about trialling custom-fitted condoms, my first thought was ‘are they going to send someone round?’. I had visions of a seedy individual arriving on my doorstep with a tape measure and some chalk (or perhaps a roll of Clingfilm). Disturbing.

But as it turns out, there’s no bloke in a raincoat. You simply go to the TheyFit website (www.theyfit.com), print out a template, and use it to measure the width and girth of your todger. Armed with your vital statistics, you then submit your size code via TheyFit’s online ordering service and they send you one of 95 sizes, ranging from modest to bloody humungous (my words, not theirs). I’m intrigued … Continue reading →

28

Woohoo! Good clean fun?

What we used: woohoo! water-based intimate lubricant
From: Boots
Price:  £5.99 – £6.99 for a 50ml tube
Ingredient(s): Aqua (water), Cyamopsis tetragonolbus (Guar gum)*, Ceratonia siliqua (Locust bean gum)*, Aloe barbadensis leaf juice powder (Aloevera)*, Camellia sinensis (Green tea extract)*, Equisetem arvense (Horsetail extract)*, Carrageenan (Red seaweed extract), Phenoxyethanol, Potassium sorbate, Citric acid

*Organically grown ingredients.

Is organic better? Lizzie shares her thoughts on Soil Association-certified woohoo! lubricant.

First thoughts …

Lizzie
It’s very easy to get stuck in a lube rut. You find one, it makes things sufficiently slippery, job done. Thomas and I often use the same brand for months at a time and then, usually because the one we’re courting is out-of-stock at our supermarket (we tend to buy lube as part of our grocery shop), we switch and the cycle starts again. Occasionally, a new lube will catch my eye when I’m in the local pharmacy, generally because it has some sort of twist to it (‘cooling!’, ‘heating!’, etc.) and I’ll pick it up, but I’m fundamentally a simple girl and have discovered over time that I like my lube plain and simple – non-irritating, water-based and with a decent texture to it. If I want hot and cold, there are other things around the house the work just as well – but that’s another post entirely.

woohoo! is a bit of a departure from the status quo for me as I consider organic products a ‘nice to have’ rather than an essential – I don’t make a habit of buying them – but I do have to say that I’m not immune to the appeal of slathering a chemical-free substance on and inside myself. Continue reading →

31

A not-so-Happy Rabbit

What we used: Happy Rabbit G-Spot Rechargeable Rabbit Vibrator
From: Lovehoney
Price: £49.99
Material(s): Silicone (main body and operating buttons) and plastic (base)
Lizzie is on a quest to find a new rabbit vibrator. Will Lovehoney’s Happy Rabbit G-Spot rechargeable rabbit vibrator make her, well, happy?

First thoughts …

Lizzie
I have been looking for a new rabbit vibrator for AGES. I bought my first one over ten years ago and fell completely in love with it. It was ridiculously cheap, was likely full of terrible un-bodysafe plastics, smelled dreadful, was louder than a 747 at take-off, and had an awful and superfluous bubble of moving beads the colour of boiled sweets near the base. But it could make me orgasm, no problem at all, and it was used on a weekly basis with much enthusiasm.

Unfortunately, after a few months of faithful (heavy) service it gave up the ghost – the battery chamber corroded – and, in any event, I’d started to do a bit of research on phthalates and had decided that I shouldn’t be putting things that were potentially harmful inside myself.

So I bought another more expensive one – and to my great disappointment, it was not a patch on the cheap-as-chips original. The rabbit ear position was slightly different and even though the vibe was quieter and smelled loads better, it wasn’t nearly as easy to orgasm with. Eventually, I got cross with it, threw it away and started experimenting with some different vibrator designs to see if I could find something I liked better.

But nothing I’ve tried so far has given me quite the same pleasure as my first rabbit and I’m desperate to find one that I adore as much as my original.

Bring on the Happy Rabbit. Continue reading →

30

Durex Deluxe condoms: a slightly thinner plastic bag for your willy

What we used: Durex Deluxe condoms
Manufacturer: Durex
Price: £8.60 – £9.99 for a pack of 5
Material(s): straight-walled polyurethane, non-spermicidal lubricant

At nearly £2.00 per condom, are Durex’s new Deluxe condoms all they’re cracked up to be? Thomas gives us his verdict.

First thoughts …

Thomas
I’ll be totally honest. Condoms are not my favourite sexual aid by a long shot. They fall into the category of ‘necessary evil’ but as STIs are with us for the foreseeable future, they are the best barriers to infection. As a rule, I always take the words ‘Ultimate’, ‘Ultra’, ‘Super’, and ‘Ultra-mega-f**king-amazing’, etc., with a large (large) pinch of salt when I see them applied to condoms. That fact is they all involve sticking a plastic bag over your willy, which is not terribly erotic, and they certainly don’t heighten any sensations, despite what some ribbed brands may say. Continue reading →

23

O is for orgasm

What we used: Play O orgasm enhancing gel
From: Durex
Price: £11.39 – £15.35 (depending on retailer)
Ingredient(s): aqua, propylene glycol, arginine, lactic acid, hydroxyethylcellulose, aroma, PEG-40 hydrogenated castor oil, isopulegol, methylparaben

Can Play O gel really help you achieve orgasm? Lizzie discovers that, yes, it can.

First thoughts …

Durex Play O has been around for a while now. I first saw it on a shelf in my local Boots pharmacy a few years ago, lurking unobtrusively next to the condoms and lubricants. The word ‘orgasm’ caught my attention and within seconds I was scanning the back of the box:

‘Durex Play OTM Gel is a revolutionary product for enhanced orgasm pleasure. Play OTM Gel has been specially designed and tested by women for women using a unique combination of ingredients that create a multitude of cooling, warming and tingling sensations all at the same time, heightening sensitivity of the clitoris for more intense orgasm pleasure and easier to reach orgasms.’

All of this sounded marvellous but to be brutally honest, I was pretty sceptical about whether a gel could have that much of an effect. An easy orgasm is pretty much the Yetti of intercourse – for women at least; everyone talks about it, but no one really believes it exists. Surely, if this stuff actually worked, I’d be hearing shrieks of pleasure echoing around the neighbourhood? Nevertheless, I’ll try anything once and so proceeded to march off to the checkout with my new discovery. Continue reading →

17

Christian Grey’s playthings, part four: handcuffs

What we used: Luxury Suede Leather Handcuffs in red
From: Bondara
Price: £25.99
Material(s): Cuffs – suede and leather. Fastenings – nickel-plated steel

Read Fifty Shades of Grey and curious about bondage? If so, we hope you enjoy the fourth and final post in our Christian Grey’s playthings series, in which Thomas restrains Lizzie with some very comfortable leather handcuffs and she does a bit of … hanging about.

Important: If you haven’t already, please read the Behind the Chintz Curtain Disclaimer. (It’s not as dry and boring as you might think, so please do take the time to have a look.)

First impressions …

Lizzie
I have a bit of a thing for the colour red, so it was probably a given that I’d like the look of these cuffs. They arrive in generic brown packaging and, I have to say, my first thought when I extract them from their plastic sleeve is that they appear to be very well made; heavier and a lot more substantial than I imagined they would be. I can’t resist giving them a quick sniff – I adore the smell of leather – and am not disappointed by their aroma!

Each red suede cuff is lined with smooth black leather and has a metal buckle, a leather strap with punched holes, and a metal D-ring (to which the accompanying chain can be clipped to secure the cuffs together) on its outer surface. A close inspection reveals that the finishing is excellent: the stitching on the cuff edges is neat and the rivets that attach the D-rings and buckle sections are firmly set. The leather is wonderfully supple and bends easily when I manipulate the cuffs with my hands – a very good sign since having something stiff or hard around the wrists isn’t a great idea if you’re going to get physical. (You don’t want restraints chaffing, cutting into your skin or affecting circulation.) Continue reading →

10

Christian Grey’s playthings, part three: pleasure beads

What we used: LELO Luna Pleasure Bead System
From: Lovehoney
Price: £29.99
Material(s): FDA-approved body-safe silicone

The third in our series of posts on Christian Grey’s playthings, in which we review pleasure beads (a.k.a. ‘jiggle balls’, Ben Wa balls, Geisha balls) and discover that they make a bit of noise!

First impressions …

Lizzie
Nice. The packaging is very grown up and classy – not a topless porn-star in sight! There’s an outer case in white with the LELO branding on it, and inside that a heavy black cardboard box with ‘LELO’ embossed on the lid. Opening up the latter reveals four pleasure beads – two in ‘petal pink’ and two ‘powder blue’ – sitting in a moulded black plastic casing. The pink beads are encased in a flexible white sleeve (girdle) shaped like the number 8.

All the beads are made of transparent, coloured silicone and inside each one there is a small grey weight, roughly the size of a marble. (Shaking a bead causes the weight to rattle against the outer plastic sleeve but the noise it makes doesn’t seem particularly loud – more like a dull thudding.) Continue reading →