Tag: Jay Wiseman

25

Spanking is beautiful (NSFW)

Concise Oxford Dictionary definition of 'spank'

 

Spank Ÿ v. slap with one’s open hand or a flat object, especially on the buttocks as a punishment. Ÿ n. a slap or series of slaps of this type.

 

How can something that’s painful be enjoyable? Create sexual satisfaction?

Erotic pain is a very hard thing to describe and quantify. In the words of Jay Wiseman:

 

‘One of the great fallacies is that people vary in their pain threshold. Medical research has proven that all persons begin to feel pain at almost exactly the same degree of stimulation. What is true is that people vary a great deal in how they react to painful stimuli …’

 

Whenever I read about spanking in the mainstream (outside of an erotic book or BDSM instructional text, basically) it’s invariably portrayed as something that’s met out as a unenjoyable punishment. Indeed, the idea that someone would willing submit to a spanking for the purposes of pleasure alone is confusing to a lot of people. Equally, the notion that there are those who like to inflict pain (responsibly) can be a difficult concept for some to get their heads around. Continue reading →

23

The cane; not just for Victorian schoolmasters

What we used: Rattan cane
From: Bondara
Price: £16.99
Material(s): Rattan (cane), leather (handle)

*Important: Canes can hurt in bad ways as well as good ways! If you haven’t already, please do take the time to read the Behind the Chintz Curtain Disclaimer before delving further into this post.

 

First thoughts …

Lizzie
Excitement and dread.

It’s fair to say that Thomas and I have been on a bit of a journey these past few years with impact instruments; first hands, then paddles, then floggers, then straps, then crops, and now, finally, a cane. We’d been discussing the idea of trying one for a while but had been gradually building up as we knew from all the research we’d done on them (and from playing with our other impact toys) that the pain level would likely be quite a jump. Additionally, because of their greater length, there was the worry that a cane would be trickier to control.

In the end, it was Thomas who took the bull by the horns and ordered  it – I was too chicken! Continue reading →

18

Teach me a lesson

Sex education – and not the kind they teach in schools. I’m a big fan of it and have a fair number of non-fiction books devoted to various sex-related subjects: sexual psychology (Dirty Minds by Kayt Sukel), oral sex (Masterclass: Going Down by Ian Cameron), and sadomasochism (SM 101: A Realistic Introduction by Jay Wiseman) to name just a few. But, sometimes, there’s no substitute for practical experience.

Just over a year ago, I attended an adult sex education class for the first time with my other half and, hands down, it was probably one of the most interesting and liberating things we’ve done as a couple. Being able to talk to someone with the experience to answer topical sex questions in a practical and non-judgemental way and having the opportunity to see things demonstrated (and try a few things ourselves under the watchful eye of the tutor) was wonderful. Even better, that first class opened the door to a whole lot of other lines of thinking and exploration for us. Some new adventures, if you will.

Earlier this week I received a marketing email from British-based sex toy retailer Coco de Mer, reminding me of their new salon season and, I have to say, they’re running some great classes this November, including An Introduction to Sensual Massage, Sensual Spanking, Mistress in the Bedroom (this one has the fabulous Mistress Absolute at the helm), Backdoor Antics: Practicals of Anal Sex, and Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot. Continue reading →