Tag: Fifty Shades of Grey

03

A floral milestone

I can’t quite believe it but Behind the Chintz Curtain has been live for three months as of today.

Nearly 3,000 of you have visited since the first post went up and every day, more and more of you stop by. So a massive ‘thank you’ to all my regulars, and a warm ‘hello’ to those who are here for the first time.

Sixty posts in (this is number sixty one) and guess what the most popular entry has been so far? No real surprise – it’s Lizzie’s Fifty Shades of Grey-inspired review of jiggle balls, which is sitting at the top of the pile with over 500 pageviews. But I think E.L. James’s ben was may be in for a bit of competition; also making appearances in the top ten, C is for clitoris, c is for clip and the wonderfully erotic Victorian birching story, Uncle Charles’ Girls by Anne Randolph. (Clearly, there’s call for more toys in the Toy Box and some red-bottomed literature!) Continue reading →

28

Sheds, Shelves and Shame: the best of the Fifty Shades parodies

‘Reader, I buggered him.’

 

Talk about an alternative ending to a classic. I never imagined Jane Eyre as a Domme, but now I can’t stop thinking about her pegging Mr Rochester.

 

It isn’t easy to write a good parody; limp jokes and tawdry puns abound – and many are about as entertaining as watching cement set – but in this post-Fifty Shades world, they’re being churned out left, right and centre as people try to cash in on the badly-written-BDSM-erotica revolution. Standing tall amidst the forest of downloadable dross, however, are three works of comedy that are absolute masterclasses in how to take the mick out of awful prose. Shenanigans with Thousand Island dressing, rimming the Black Gate of Mordor, and romantic nights at the Holiday Inn: will Fifty Sheds of Grey, Fifty Shelves of Grey and Fifty Shames of Earl Grey please stand up? Continue reading →

27

Talk dirty to me

Words have a lot of power. They can move us to tears, make us laugh, shock the hell out of us, make us happy. They can also turn us on.

Lately, I’ve noticed that increasing numbers of female erotica and erotic romance writers are using flowery euphemisms less and what we would traditionally have considered ‘baser’, masculine terms more. We all have different tastes, obviously, but I’m curious to know whether our comfort levels as female readers are changing. In text, are we now more able to embrace words that, say, five or ten years ago had the power to shock us? And do they invoke feelings of arousal or have we simply become desensitised by the rise in their use?

The feminist Germain Greer said in the BBC’s Balderdash and Piffle series, which originally aired back in 2006, that the word ‘cunt’ was ‘one of the few remaining words in the English language with a genuine power to shock.’ Is this still true six years down the line? (I did consider titling this post ‘Cunt: when is it appropriate?’ but decided that the word, when used blatantly and without context, would likely be a barrier to people reading any further into this piece. Which tells me straight away that I, personally, have attached some degree of stigma to it even though I consider myself fairly comfortable with ‘cunt’ in the context of erotic writing.) I also have to wonder if the success of E.L. James’ Fifty Shades of Grey is due to its rather chaste language. Sure, we get some non-vanilla toys and some alternative sex practices, but how many times do we get to hear about Anastasia’s ‘down there’ during the course of the story? I’m not saying that you have to use crude words to write good sexual content – look at John Cleland’s Fanny Hill – but do we, as women, have a fear of using certain words in the bedroom? Continue reading →

05

Masochism versus sadism, Domme school, and sex toys on baggage carousels

It’s Wednesday. Which means it’s link day.

This week’s collection of articles and posts includes a Belfast Telegraph article, which suggests that they (and the husband of Fifty Shades author, E.L. James) need to buy a dictionary and look up the meaning of ‘masochist’, a chat with the London Mistress School, and a poor couple whose sex toy was ‘outed’ by United Continental.

 

Husband of Fifty Shades of Grey author insists ‘I’m no masochist’
Source: Belfast Telegraph

 

‘The Northern Irish husband of Fifty Shades of Grey author EL James has denied that she based the seductive Christian Grey character on him.

He said of the best-selling phenomenon: “I’m not a masochist and that’s all I’m going to say about our sex life.”’

 

Uh, I’m totally confused by this piece of journalism. Mr Leonard, your wife has written a book about a man who is a sadist. Therefore saying that you’re ‘not a masochist’ doesn’t make it seem any less likely that Erika didn’t base Christian Grey on you. FYI, the person doing the spanking, caning, and flagellating is the sadist, yes? Which, by my brilliant powers of deduction, would make the masochist the person on the receiving end of the palm/cane/flogger. Unless I’m misreading this completely and you’re simply trying to tease us by telling us what doesn’t float your boat, i.e. pain? Continue reading →

29

Paid perving, re-vamped vaginas, and real submission

Last Wednesday, I published a selection of links that took you to some interesting articles and posts that I’d come across courtesy of email alerts. It proved to be quite popular, so I’m planning on doing one of these round-ups every week from now on. No strange sex toys in this edition, I’m afraid, but there is voyeurism, ‘like a virgin’ cream and submission …

 

This is how you do it!
Source: New York Post

Fancy a career in voyeurism? A New York man has managed to set up a business that pays him to observe others having sex. Eric Amaranth, who is described by the New York Post as ‘gangly and unassuming’ has cultivated a client base who are willing to pay him USD$175.00 an hour for a ‘talk session’ (one assumes the chat differs markedly from that in the pub on an average Friday night) and a whopping USD$240.00 an hour for a ‘guided session’, during which he ‘observes’ their performances and offers pointers. What I want to know is, what earns you an ‘F’ (‘That’s inappropriate use of that vibrator, madam’), and whether voyeurism will be offered as an undergraduate course at leading universities?  Continue reading →

23

From M/F/M to BDSM – the erotic alphabet

Letters. They have quite an important role in erotica and erotic romance book synopses. If you’re a seasoned reader of titles from these genres, you’ll know immediately what I’m talking about, but if Fifty Shades of Grey was your first foray into racy reading, you may be somewhat curious – or perhaps confused – as to what all the letters and acronyms you’re encountering in erotic book descriptions actually mean. Should you pay any attention to them? Are they important? Is there any difference between a book that has M/F/M listed in its description from one that has M/M/F?

In a word, yes. Many (but not all) erotica and erotic romance authors and publishers use letters and acronyms in online blurbs to give readers an idea of how the characters in their stories relate to one another sexually. And that’s important, because it lets you know what you’re getting yourself into before you start reading. Turned on by lesbian sex? Love the idea of a threesome? Behold, Chintz’s quick and dirty guide to the erotic alphabet … Continue reading →

22

Strange sex toys, a secretive author, and Fifty Shades of Grey meets Shakespeare

I love the Internet. It’s an endless river of information at my fingertips. A few quick key taps and I can find out about pretty much anything. But, lately, you know what I’ve really developed a thing for? Google Alerts. Having the ability to use words and phrases to throw up all sorts of news articles, blog posts, commentaries and clips that directly – and sometimes very tenuously – relate to things that interest me. So today, I thought I’d share some of the more intriguing Chintzy links that have arrived in my inbox, courtesy of GA, over the past week or so …

 

15 Real Sex Toys That Will Give You Nightmares
Source: http://www.cracked.com/

Dear God but this article from Cracked.com made my eyes bug out on stalks. I’m a pretty open-minded person but, boy, this post was a bit of an education. The title pretty much says it all and apparently, it’s a follow-on from the ‘most disturbing toys’ articles the author, Ian Fortey, wrote in 2008 and 2009.

The writing in this blog post is very funny and extremely witty – ensure you don’t have food or liquid in your mouth when reading because you will choke and/or spit them across the room – but a note of caution: if you’re easily offended or freaked out, steer clear. The article doesn’t feature any overt nudity or sex acts and there are a bunch of images that have been pixelated out in full to preserve your sanity but it’s still something of a trip. Favourite quote: ‘Finally, the sexual thrill of being a supermarket pork chop can be yours’. NSFW (Not Suitable for Work). Continue reading →

14

Back to our regularly scheduled programme

You’ll be pleased to know that Chintz is back to normal from today; we’ve had a short short posting break as I’ve (Jane) been on holiday in Italy for the past week or so.

Although I did quite a bit of lazing about, I managed to get a fair amount of holiday reading in amidst all the olive and wine consumption and had the joy of discovering three stand-out erotica books: Slave and Need (both from Sherri Hayes’s Finding Anna series) and Uncle Charles’ Girls by Anne Randolph – all of which I’ll be writing reviews for over the next few days. There are some new toy reviews on the way, too, and The Garden of Earthly Delights [*no longer available on the blog] is also due some further instalments. (Unfortunately, the latter suffered a bit in the forty degree Umbrian heat and I didn’t get as many new episodes written as I planned!)

Finally, a word on the image heading up this post (if you follow the Chintz Facebook page you may have spotted this picture already) … As I wandered though the picturesque hilltop town of Urbino (birthplace of the famous Renaissance painter Raphael, home of Piero della Francesca’s iconic ‘Flagellation of Christ’ and site of Federico da Montefeltro’s breathtaking Ducal Palace) what did I see for sale?

Cinquanta sfumature di Grigio.

I wonder if it’s better in Italian?

02

Breaking Free – Cherise Sinclair

Title: Breaking Free (Masters of the Shadowlands)
Author: Cherise Sinclair
Publisher: Loose Id LLC (30 Mar 2010)
ISBN: 978-1-59632-965-2

How’s this for an opening line:

‘Music, beer, tie up a willing woman, maybe use a flogger lightly … should be a no-stress evening.’

Breaking Free was the first book that I read of Cherise Sinclair’s and it made me an absolutely devoted fan of her Masters of the Shadowlands series. It’s well written, has excellent characterisation, a wonderful sense of tension and is hot with a capital ‘H’. (Did I mention it’s hot?)

Where to start? Well, I’m actually going to kick off with the message that Cherise Sinclair includes at the beginning of the book (and indeed all her others that involve BDSM):

‘This book is fiction, not reality … Good Doms don’t grow on trees and there’s some strange people out there. So while you’re looking for that special Dom, please, be careful.
.
.
.
When you find him, realize he can’t read your mind.’
You will have a safeword, am I clear? Use protection. Have a back-up person. Communicate.
Remember: safe, sane and consensual.’

For this alone, I applaud Ms Sinclair. Before the book has even begun, she’s taken a socially responsible approach to the reader and made it clear that, while Breaking Free is a contemporary erotic romance, it is fiction and you shouldn’t be running out to your nearest fetish club and asking the first person you encounter to tie you up and take a cane to your behind. This may sound like a no-brainer but a lot of people use books as inspiration – just look at the rise in sex toy sales since Fifty Shades of Grey hit the mainstream – and Cherise’s message is an important one. That’s not to say that other books don’t include disclaimers (many do) but the personal approach to the reader from the author, I think, is commendable. Continue reading →

17

Christian Grey’s playthings, part four: handcuffs

What we used: Luxury Suede Leather Handcuffs in red
From: Bondara
Price: £25.99
Material(s): Cuffs – suede and leather. Fastenings – nickel-plated steel

Read Fifty Shades of Grey and curious about bondage? If so, we hope you enjoy the fourth and final post in our Christian Grey’s playthings series, in which Thomas restrains Lizzie with some very comfortable leather handcuffs and she does a bit of … hanging about.

Important: If you haven’t already, please read the Behind the Chintz Curtain Disclaimer. (It’s not as dry and boring as you might think, so please do take the time to have a look.)

First impressions …

Lizzie
I have a bit of a thing for the colour red, so it was probably a given that I’d like the look of these cuffs. They arrive in generic brown packaging and, I have to say, my first thought when I extract them from their plastic sleeve is that they appear to be very well made; heavier and a lot more substantial than I imagined they would be. I can’t resist giving them a quick sniff – I adore the smell of leather – and am not disappointed by their aroma!

Each red suede cuff is lined with smooth black leather and has a metal buckle, a leather strap with punched holes, and a metal D-ring (to which the accompanying chain can be clipped to secure the cuffs together) on its outer surface. A close inspection reveals that the finishing is excellent: the stitching on the cuff edges is neat and the rivets that attach the D-rings and buckle sections are firmly set. The leather is wonderfully supple and bends easily when I manipulate the cuffs with my hands – a very good sign since having something stiff or hard around the wrists isn’t a great idea if you’re going to get physical. (You don’t want restraints chaffing, cutting into your skin or affecting circulation.) Continue reading →