Before I hand over to Emma, a little background on this post … A few weeks ago, Molly, who runs the weekly Sinful Sunday meme (which both Emma and I both regularly take part in) asked for photographs themed around men, maleness and masculinity. What did those words mean to each of us? And how did we interpret those words visually? The prompt produced some beautiful photographs and it was really interesting to see the diversity of the pictures and how varied our perceptions of the words were. Which lead me to think more about the word feminine. Does it still have the connotations it did, say, ten years ago? Thirty years ago? And how do we each define our womanliness?

Over to you, Emma …

FEMININITY

Femininity isn’t a word I use, partly because I can neither spell (thank goodness for spell check) or pronounce it (unless very slowly), but also because I don’t like the word. It isn’t a word I hear much either. Is it something we really need nowadays? Traditionally it generally refers to the female gender and the gentler, delicate things in life, sensitivity or empathy. Are these really female traits these days? Times have changed and females are no longer stuck in the kitchen or sewing children’s clothes.

Recently Andrew Garfield was caught out by Girlfriend Emma Stone as saying that sewing the Spiderman costume was a feminine thing to do. Emma instantly questioned as to why it was feminine. Traditionally, sewing would be feminine, but today, are all men incapable of sewing things themselves still in fear of being emasculated? Times have changed and I wish the language would move on too.  Mixing gender roles seems to be seen as an insult at times, as though you have to justify it. I’ve often heard “Why are you crying like a girl?” as though it is fine for girls to cry, but not boys. Is there a fine line between femininity, masculinity and sexism?

I’ve never liked other languages which have sexes for items either. A chair is a chair, I don’t want to have to remember whether it is female, male, or neutral. It’s a chair, they should all be neutral.

In the same sense, a dildo is a dildo. It doesn’t matter to me whether a man or a woman is using it. Does wearing a strap-on make you any less feminine if you chose to be? You can choose your sexuality. If you want to be feminine you can be, or if you want to be masculine, or both. I can’t define what feminine means to each individual person though.

So what does femininity mean to me? Not a lot. You could say that wearing pretty lingerie is feminine, but to me it’s just lingerie. I like pretty lace dresses too, but so can a man in the same respect that I like DIY. I don’t want to be feminine, or masculine. I want to be accepted for who I am.

Emma Whispers.

*A big thank you to Emma for taking the time to write this piece. For more whispers, please visit her at her blog, www.dirtylittlewhispers.com.

What does femininity mean to you? How do you relate to the word? Have our traditional interpretations of it become outdated? And how do you, personally, define your ‘womanliness’?

The post Guest Post: Femininity – Dirty Little Whispers appeared first on Behind the Chintz Curtain.