erotic romance Archives « Behind the Chintz Curtain

May 19

Bored with the same old billionaire bikers? Tired of erotic romance heroes who only have nine-inch penises? Not enough grease in your Chanel No. 5? Then you need …

[Cue voice of Brian Butterfield] …

CARI SILVERWOOD’S NEW EROTIC ROMANCE PARODY, SQUIRM!

Every erotic romance you’ve ever read over the past two years rolled into one handy novella. Horny virgin? Check. Fifty shades of Charlie Hunnam? Check. An enormous penis – I mean tentacle – that just won’t stop poking? Check.

Cue interview …

JANE: Does eau de biker have a two-stroke top note and can I buy it from Selfridges or John Lewis?

CARI: I hope you appreciate how much Googling I had to do for this – I’d heard of Selfridges though. To let the US and rest-of-the-world readers in on this, think Target and Walmart with a smidge more class.

I think two-stroke would be a wonderful way to describe this sought after perfume. Although the exact ingredients are a closely held secret by all motorcycle clubs, there’s definitely a base of petrol/gasoline along with the other obvious ingredients like beer, grease, and pizza leftovers.

I doubt you can buy it at Selfridges/Walmart due to the price being the blood of an untamed virgin … or the kiss of one. My inner voice just yelled at me that blood is too icky for a humorous story about a tentacle monster ravaging a virgin. Let’s stick with kiss. Continue reading →

Aug 12

Chintz has been a little silent this past week – and that’s because I’ve been here, on top of this beautiful hill, in a tent, with no Wi-fi:

Stunning, no?

I’d like to say that I was reading saucy books and writing more but I, um, spent most of my time exploring the gorgeous North Devon coastline and getting myself wet in the mighty Atlantic. Oh, and eating fish ‘n’ chips and scones slathered in jam and clotted cream. (Lush. Totally, totally, lush.) Continue reading →

Jun 21

Title: Truth (Finding Anna)
Author: Sherri Hayes
Publisher: The Writer’s Coffee Shop (25 July 2013)
ISBN: 9781612131610
Reviewer: Jane

Doing the wrong thing for the right reasons. (Well, mostly.)

How do I even begin reviewing Truth? Firstly, let me say that if you haven’t read the previous two books in the Finding Anna series, Slave and Need, you’re going to be seriously, seriously lost if you go straight in with this one. It cannot be read as a stand-alone. All three instalments are closely tied together and to truly appreciate the circumstances that Brianna and Stephan find themselves in, you need to understand how they got to where they are. Continue reading →

May 21

Title: The Compound
Author: Claire Thompson
Publisher: Romance Unbound Publishing (30 Jan 2013)
ISBN: 978-1482302493
Reviewer(s): Michael & Jane

Bondage! BDSM! The Beatles! And, no, that last one’s not a typo. In this joint review of The Compound, Michael and I get a bit rock ‘n’ roll. (I know, I know, I know. Just go with it.)

*Proceed with caution: spoilers ahoy-hoy

JANE’S TAKE …

Completely confused by the presence of the Fab Four in this review? Don’t worry, all will become clear as mud, I promise. Continue reading →

Mar 20

Title: Take Me, Break Me
Author: Cari Silverwood
Publisher: Wolf Charm Press (04 March 2013)
ISBN: 9781301060573
Reviewer(s): Michael and Jane

Yep. As requested, Michael and I are back once again as a book-reviewing double act. Are we less ranty than last time? I think so. But I still ended up drawing stick figures. Couldn’t seem to stop myself. He, meanwhile, took the high road and included intelligent and insightful quotes. (I think it’s clear which of us is Batman and which of us is Robin in this instance …)

JANE’S TAKE …

Before I say anything else, I just want to make it clear that I liked this book. The story was interesting, the characters likeable, and the sex hot. (Very, very hot in fact.) But it disturbed me. And I felt bad for enjoying it at times. Continue reading →

Mar 07

Since I attended Eroticon last weekend, I’ve been thinking. About lots of things. But, in particular, making more time to write. Not reviews, not articles, but erotica. More Five-minute stories. More serials.

Chintz went live approximately eight months ago and since then I’ve blogged nearly every week day. That’s a fair few posts! But while I’m tapping away furiously on my keyboard for a good few hours Monday to Friday, I’ve found that I’m devoting more and more time to reviews and less and less to writing stories. Continue reading →

Mar 06

If you’re a regular Chintz visitor, you’ll know that I was lucky enough to win one of three Xcite-sponsored tickets to Eroticon 2013, which was held in London last weekend. The conference ran for two full days and featured what can only be described as a truly mighty line-up of speakers, all there to encourage us, whatever our medium – blog or book – to write sex right.

I was so excited to be able to attend, although I must admit I was a little nervous about walking into a crowd of people I’d never met in person before. The very lovely Emma over at Dirty Little Whispers, who I speak to a fair bit online (and who also won a sponsored ticket) thankfully agreed to meet up with me during the initial registration session so I’d be a little less ‘island in the ocean’. However, while I was waiting for her to arrive, I happened to go and stand next to a woman who was busy perusing the weekend’s schedule. We got to chatting and what do you know? Her name was Tamsin Flowers and she was the winner of the third Xcite sponsorship. So in a room full of people, we’d somehow managed to gravitate towards each other. Spooky! (Is there such a thing as Xcite vibes?)

After listening to Ruby Kiddell’s lovely welcome and Rebecca Findlay’s talk about the XES: We Can’t Go Backwards campaign (did you know that on 1 April 2013 contraception and STI services will no longer be provided by the NHS but your local council?!) I said farewell to Tamsin, and Emma and I headed off to the first of many fabulous seminars, Molly Moore’s Myth Busting: the Submissive Woman. Continue reading →

Feb 28

Title: Rush
Author: Maya Banks
Publisher: Berkley Trade (05 February 2013)
ISBN: 978-0425267042
Reviewer(s): Michael and Jane

Prepare yourselves. Michael and I decided to read and review Rush in tandem. And let’s just say that we had, er, pretty strong reactions to it. Warning: it’s a general winter of discontent below the fold and we only just refrained from using SHOUTY CAPITALS in our respective reviews. Buckle up.

MICHAEL’S TAKE …

First off, let me say this. Maya Banks has been doing this for a while now. I don’t really think this is her version of Fifty Shades of Grey despite the fact that it did sort of feel that way. (Oh, and if you don’t want spoilers, don’t read this because this is a fully-fledged rant.) Having said that, she has accomplished something I wouldn’t have thought possible: created a male lead in Gabe Hamilton that makes Christian Grey and Gideon Cross (Bared to You) look like normal, well-adjusted, thoughtful young men. Continue reading →

Feb 25

A few weeks ago, I was lucky enough to win a sponsored ticket to Eroticon 2013 (thank you so much Xcite Books!) and on Friday night will be travelling up to London for this outstanding event. Two days of discussions and workshops focussing on writing (and presenting) sex in the right way. Bloggers. Editors. Publishers. Photographers. It’s going to be amazing.

Anyway, before I jump on the train to this erotica nirvana, I thought I’d better take part in the pre-conference Meet and Greet. You know, give all the other poor unsuspecting attendees some idea of what’s about to be inflicted upon them …

Name: Jane

Twitter ID: @ChintzCurtain

Must attend Eroticon 2013 session: I can only pick one? Okay. The Anthologies session with Maxim Jakubowski, Lucy Felthouse, Victoria Blisse, and Rachel Kramer Bussel. I’m a huge fan of short-form erotica.

Bloggers you’d like to be trapped in the lift with: Dirty Little Whispers (she’d make me laugh), Being Blacksilk (she’d be able to tell some fabulous erotic stories to pass the time), Ruffled Sheets (I love Andy’s photographs) and Molly (who doesn’t want to be trapped in the lift with her?!).

Erotic writer you’d like to write dramatize your life story: Heck, I’d need to pick someone who wasn’t afraid to use heavy artistic license. My life just isn’t that dramatic. Do they have to be alive? No? Anaïs Nin, then.

Expected biggest fangirl/fanboy moment: Probably Rachel Kramer Bussel. Sex, editing, and red pen. That’s like my idea of pure bliss.

What keeps you awake at night? My husband’s snoring. It’s loud. Very, very loud.

Want to know who else is attending Eroticon 2013? Click here to find out.

Feb 13

Title: Spanktastic
Author: Sadey Quinn
Publisher: CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform (20 June 2012)
ISBN: 978-1475054675
Reviewer: Jane

You know how you’re not supposed to judge a book by its cover? Well, I took one look at Spanktastic and totally (totally) did.

Oh, my, is it hot.

But do you know what’s even better? The inside. Because does Spanktastic ever live up to its super-seductive exterior. In fact, I’d go so far as to say it surpasses it – and a barebottomed red-head draped over a velvet chair is pretty hard to top, in my opinion!

This book is an absolute feast for spanking gluttons. Twenty-two luscious stories, in which different women have their bottoms turned a delightful shade of pink by the various inhabitants of fictional town, Rock Creek – a BDSM-friendly community whose residents are free to indulge their fetishes behind closed doors or in front of them. (I should point out here that whilst Spanktastic is a collection of shorts, they’re all linked together by this common setting and, thus, intertwine to create an anthology with a ‘novelesque’ feel. So even if you’re not generally keen on short-form erotica, Spanktastic may just appeal to you.) Continue reading →

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