Who Said It: The Pope or Fifty Shades of Grey?
Source: Hollywood (Beta)

Who knew that Pope Benedict XVI and E.L. James had so much in common? As Aly Semigran points out in this article, the former’s new sixty-two page digital scrapbook features names and passages that are spookily similar to the great grey monolith.

We jokingly speculated during Remittance Girl’s Eroticon 2013 Creative Writing seminar that our conference was the final straw for the Pope, our debauchery the reason for him quitting his post (the chatter even spawned the awesome @HuggyPope Twitter account). But I’m beginning to think we were onto something. Except perhaps he’s, you know, really left to pursue his burgeoning erotic writing career under the pen name ‘E.L. James’ …

Amazon Wants to Sell Used Ebooks: Everyone is Confused
Source: EContent

A couple of weeks ago, I saw an article in Publishers Weekly announcing that Amazon has been awarded a patent to sell ‘used’ digital content. I re-read the piece three of four times, trying to get my head around the concept of something that’s digital (and therefore ‘non-physical’) ever being able to be labelled as ‘used’. Because, to state the obvious, unlike a book you hold in your hand, an eBook never degrades. It doesn’t ‘wear’, develop dog-ears, a broken spine, or a crazed cover.

Turns out, I’m not the only one struggling with the concept and this article by Peggy Hageman gives an excellent overview of what Amazon are trying to do. Poignantly, she asks:

‘is there really such a thing as a “used” bit of code?’

I love buying second-hand goods – mainly because I don’t like to see perfectly good (physical) objects go to waste. Books in particular. But this concept makes me feel really nervous. The proposition is undoubtedly good for Amazon (they wouldn’t be doing it otherwise) but I suspect that, for publishers and authors, this business model will have some pretty significant repercussions.

TSA guys hard on sex toys
Source: New York Post

This short article made me feel slightly ill. Airport security is a necessity. I get that. I understand that staff must routinely go through passengers’ bags to ensure the safety of fellow travellers. However, it is NOT OKAY for those in positions of authority to go through people’s luggage for the purposes of sexual gratification or amusement. That is an invasion of privacy and a blatant abuse of power.

The idea of some strange man or woman handling one of my sex toys just for the heck of it makes my skin crawl. And I suspect that a lot of people don’t complain about this kind of carry on (assuming they are aware of it) either because they’re too embarrassed to admit that they had a vibrator, dildo, or whatever in their bag in the first place.

Is this behaviour widespread? Well, reading this article seems to suggest it may be quite common (and if you recall, I posted a similar Alert Me article about the two men whose dildo came out on the baggage carousel a few months ago.) So, Chintz readers, a question:

Have you ever taken sex toys on a plane? And, if you have, were they (to your knowledge) ‘examined’ by airport security?

*Please note that this poll is anonymous, so you can participate without fear of sex toy ‘outage’.

The post Alert Me: E.L. James a pseudonym for the Pope(?), ‘used’ ebooks, and sex toys in airports appeared first on Behind the Chintz Curtain.

Conceptual Sex Toys: Smile Makers
Source: Trendland.com

The Fireman. The Millionaire. The Frenchman. The Tennis Coach.

No, these aren’t the titles of books from Mills & Boon. Rather, they’re the names of the four new Smile Makers vibrators on offer from conceptual design company Ramblin’ Brands. And when I say ‘conceptual’, they really, really are. I was completely puzzled as to how you might use The Frenchman and sat looking at him for quite some time before my OH came to the rescue. (One glance and he quickly identified that he’s supposed to be used like a tongue on your outer bits. Clearly, I’m in the slow group.)

I love the idea of vibrators based on the stereotypical ‘fantasy men’ – fun, amusing and very different. Aesthetically, I think the Smile Makers designs and colourways are extremely appealing, too, and I’ll definitely be adding them to the Chintz ‘to try’ list in the near future. In the meantime, I’m going to continue amusing myself with the Smile Makers Fantasy Man Generator, a hilarious little onsite game that lets you create your dream hunk from a cast of colourful characters and share him with your friends via social media. Loads of fun. (Be sure to click on Jungle Wayne in his tiger-striped underpants.)

’50 Shades Of Grey’ Barbie Sex Shop Display Features Dolls In Explicit BDSM Poses
Source: Huffington Post

Yes, the perfect plastic ones have discovered a penchant for whips and chains. Wicked Wanda’s Adult Emporium in Ottawa, Canada, has teamed up with a local artist to create a storefront installation that shows Barbie and Ken in a whole new light. The pair are featured in various kinky poses, inspired by (you guessed it) E.L. James’ Fifty Shades of Grey.

I have to say, I found the header image for this article highly amusing; I don’t think I ever imagined Ken would wear a gas mask or find himself suspended from tiny silver chains at the mercy of his fishnet-stockinged girlfriend.

For those interested in seeing other images from the Wicked Wanda’s installation, just Google the shop’s name, together with ‘Barbie’ and ‘Ken’.

NB: I don’t think Spanking Bench Barbie will make it into a Toy Story film any time soon.

Writing Erotica is Hot… Unless You Are a Teacher
Sources: Karen Ballum of Sassymonkey Reads for BlogHer

This is a very interesting BlogHer post by Karen Ballum.

Ohio high school teacher, Carol Ann Eastman, was recently placed on administrative leave and given a five-day suspension when it was discovered that she was writing erotica under a pseudonym.

Apparently, penning sexy stories is fine if you’re a London T.V. exec. but if you’re a teacher? No way. Even if you keep your extra curricular writing life completely separate from your professional one. Did Ms Eastman behave inappropriately in the classroom? Mention her erotica writing to her students? No. While the circumstances aren’t particularly clear, it appears she was outed by someone in the local community. And because her erotica is ‘school themed’, folks have gone particularly crazy. Er, people? Fantasy versus reality? Do we vilify teachers who write novels about murder and violent crime, assuming they’re regularly partaking in the acts detailed within their books? No.

As Karen mentions in her piece, this incident is very similar to the ‘un-masking’ of teacher/author Judy Buranich, which happened in April last year. I remember seeing the clip in her article (also featured below) on Sarah Wendell’s Smart Bitches Trashy Books and reading another in support article on the same site just after poor Judy was outed. Frankly, I think the same sentiments apply in this instance. Just swap out Judy’s name for Carol’s.

The post Alert Me: ‘Fantasy man’ vibrators, BDSM Barbie, and a teacher in trouble appeared first on Behind the Chintz Curtain.

Fifty Shades of a bawdy board game
Source: Evening Standard

I actually have no words. A Fifty Shades of Grey boardgame with ‘Inner Goddess Tokens’ a ‘Red Room Expansion Pack’ and a non-disclosure agreement between the players and Christian Grey (otherwise know as the ‘Receiving Party’).

As someone who spent nearly a decade protecting the integrity of a rather high-profile brand that shall remain nameless, this kind of cash-in merchandising actually makes me feel slightly ill. Worse, if Susannah Butter’s article is anything to go by, those who fork over their hard-earned cash for this thing aren’t even going to be rewarded with anything particularly titillating or racy. Sample question:

“Which girlfriend would buy the best present for the man who had everything?”

No joke, I can’t decide whether to laugh or cry. Really E.L. James? Really? Stick with Monopoly, people. I guarantee fighting over who gets to be the boot will be more fun.

British sex toy shop makes post-watershed Christmas ads
Source: B&T

Now this is interesting. Adverts for sex toys on British television are almost unheard of. I recall Lovehoney doing one a while back but I don’t recall it being quite as titillating as this Christmas offering from High Street giant Ann Summers. Content-wise, it’s hardly explicit but the censors have deemed that it can only be shown after 11.00pm (although there is an edited version that we’ll be allowed to see from the earlier time of nine o’clock – PM, not AM).

Does this signal that, as a society, we’re becoming more accepting of sex toy advertisements in mainstream media?

Your next sex toy could come out of a 3D printer (NSFW)
Source: io9

I’m married to an engineer. And when he reads this article, the first thing out of his mouth is going to be ‘what did I tell you?’.  We’ve both been aware of 3D printing for some time and have often debated when and how the sex toy industry would begin to embrace the technology. The possibilities are endless (custom shapes, custom sizes, custom colours, etc.) but as this article points out, the resolutions, materials and costs are quite a way from being perfect just yet. It’s only a matter of time, though, and I think we’re going to see a lot more bespoke toys being manufactured in this way in the years to come. This is a great piece to geek out and dream to!

The post Alert Me: No-Sign-of-Sadomasochism – The Boardgame!, Ann Summers on TV, and printing 3D sex toys appeared first on Behind the Chintz Curtain.

‘The Fifty Shades of Grey official collection is beautifully packaged, discreet and couple-friendly. Products are supplied with a luxurious, branded storage bag and each comes with suggestions for use and tips on introducing the toys into a relationship.’

Yes, fans of the series will soon be able to buy ‘Inner Goddess – Silver Pleasure Balls’, ‘You. Are. Mine. – Metal Handcuffs’, a ‘Submit To Me – First Time Bondage Kit’, ‘All Mine – Deluxe Satin Blackout Mask’, the ‘Sweet Sting – Riding Crop’, and the ‘Twitchy Palm – Spanking Paddle’.

Which begs the question: will we see a move towards more book-branded sex toys in the future? I’ve long believed that erotica and erotic romances can have a direct influence on the adult toys we choose to buy, as well as our sexual experiences – in fact, that’s the main premise of this blog! – but I’m curious to know just how many of us use what we read to inspire our purchases (sex-oriented or otherwise). So tell me: does J.R. Ward’s Black Dagger Brotherhood make you want to rush out and buy Biolage, Patek Philippe, and Diamonds by the Yard? Or Maya Banks’ Sweet Persuasion a crop and a butt plug?

Enquiring minds want to know!

The post Lovehoney to release official range of Fifty Shades of Grey sex toys appeared first on Behind the Chintz Curtain.

I can’t quite believe it but Behind the Chintz Curtain has been live for three months as of today.

Nearly 3,000 of you have visited since the first post went up and every day, more and more of you stop by. So a massive ‘thank you’ to all my regulars, and a warm ‘hello’ to those who are here for the first time.

Sixty posts in (this is number sixty one) and guess what the most popular entry has been so far? No real surprise – it’s Lizzie’s Fifty Shades of Grey-inspired review of jiggle balls, which is sitting at the top of the pile with over 500 pageviews. But I think E.L. James’s ben was may be in for a bit of competition; also making appearances in the top ten, C is for clitoris, c is for clip and the wonderfully erotic Victorian birching story, Uncle Charles’ Girls by Anne Randolph. (Clearly, there’s call for more toys in the Toy Box and some red-bottomed literature!)

Finally, I’d like to take the opportunity to say ‘thanks’ to the members of the BDSM group on Goodreads who have been so wonderful and generous with their time, providing feedback and advice as I write The Garden of Earthly Delights. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it.

Jane
x

The post A floral milestone appeared first on Behind the Chintz Curtain.

‘Reader, I buggered him.’

Talk about an alternative ending to a classic. I never imagined Jane Eyre as a Domme, but now I can’t stop thinking about her pegging Mr Rochester.

It isn’t easy to write a good parody; limp jokes and tawdry puns abound – and many are about as entertaining as watching cement set – but in this post-Fifty Shades world, they’re being churned out left, right and centre as people try to cash in on the badly-written-BDSM-erotica revolution. Standing tall amidst the forest of downloadable dross, however, are three works of comedy that are absolute masterclasses in how to take the mick out of awful prose. Shenanigans with Thousand Island dressing, rimming the Black Gate of Mordor, and romantic nights at the Holiday Inn: will Fifty Sheds of Grey, Fifty Shelves of Grey and Fifty Shames of Earl Grey please stand up?

I don’t normally review books in tandem but in this case, the fictitious authors of these publications – C.T. Grey, Vanessa Parody, and Fanny Merkin – were all inspired by the Chaucer of our time, E.L. James’, so, thematically, they sit rather nicely together.

Title: Fifty Sheds of Grey
Author: C.T. Grey
Publisher: Boxtree (13 September 2012)
ISBN: 978-0752265452

You may have seen my mention of the release of Fifty Sheds of Grey in last week’s link round-up, but for those who aren’t aware, this book is the result of the wildly successful @50ShedsofGrey Twitter account, which popped up few months back. Described as ‘erotica for the not-too-modern male’, Fifty Sheds of Grey is DIY-inspired innuendo at its best. Not surprisingly, C.T. Grey’s shed plays the staring role in his tools and hardware sexual fantasy-land and I doubt, after reading his 140-characters-or-less gems, you’ll ever look at a mower or sprinkler the same way again.

‘I do have one fetish,’ I admitted, ‘MILFs … Mowers I’d Like to Fix.’

Yes, you could absolutely go on Twitter and scroll through the various 50Sheds tweets and but by doing so you’ll miss out on the high-quality shed-porn on offer (read: pictures of garden sheds) and the alternative interpretations of iconic pieces of literature – such as Lady Chatterley’s Lover and Shakespeare’s Sonnet 18 – which are interspersed between the wonderful social media pearls.

‘Shall I compare thee to a summer-house?

Thou art more homely and more intimate.

Rough women do shake my darling shed of grey,

But summarily spurn a second date.’

A note of caution – a lot of the jokes in here are very British in tone and content, so this one may be funnier for those in the U.K. (There was a hilarious @50ShedsofGrey tweet that went out a few days ago concerning Marmite and it caused great confusion amongst those unfamiliar with this breakfast spread’s inky charms.)

Fifty Sheds of Grey is available from Amazon.co.uk (Kindle ; Hardback) and Amazon.com (Kindle ; Paperback).

Title: Fifty Shelves of Grey
Author: Vanessa Parody
Publisher: Constable (09 August 2012)
ISBN: 978-1472102386

Fifty Shelves of Grey is a slightly different proposition to Fifty Sheds, although, like C.T. Grey, Ms Parody has taken at least some of her inspiration from the classics. Per the cover: ‘A Selection of Great Books Erotically Remastered’, but I must confess that I was strongly disposed to like this book before I even got to the erotic tinkering because of the outstanding John Waters quote that features in the prelim pages:

‘If you go home with somebody, and they don’t have books, don’t fuck ’em’

If ever a quote was true …

Fifty Shelves has something for everyone. From Charlotte Bronte’s Jane Eyre (from which the very first quote in this post is taken) to Leo Tolstoy’s War and Peace, Herman Melville’s Moby-Dick to Ovid’s The Art of Love, these erotic re-imaginings are punchy, and gut-wrenchingly funny. Even better, they’re distilled right down – the majority of the pieces clock in at one to two pages – so they’re wonderfully digestible. The stand-outs for me? The Lord of the Rings (‘Gimlit talked loudly about ‘preparing to rim the Black Gate of Mordor’), Fight Club (The first rule about fuck club is that you don’t talk about fuck club’), and The Highway Code (‘If an orgasm is oncoming, please pull into the left ‘slow’ lane’), with an honourable mention going to the Boden Catalogue. (For once, I didn’t feel physically ill reading mini-stories about over-priced, mass-produced clothing.)

‘Vintage-look linen sundress, £89
We love the ruffled shoulder straps on this gorgeous knee-length swingy dress. Equally perfect for sunny country strolls and for being pushed up around your waist as you are taken vigorously from behind by a farmer, yokel or rural milkman.’

Fifty Shelves of Grey is available from Amazon.co.uk (Kindle ; Hardback) and Amazon.com (Kindle).

Title: Fifty Shames of Earl Grey
Author: Fanny Merkin
Publisher: JR Books Ltd (31 July 2012)
ISBN: 978-1907532504

Last, but certainly not least, is the bergamot man himself, Earl Grey. Fifty Shames of Earl Grey is, in terms of content, the most closely aligned with E.L. James’ Fifty Shades of Grey, but make no mistake: Fanny Merkin (a.k.a. Andrew Shaffer) slices the original text apart with a wickedly sharp satirical sword, chopping the protagonists into little pieces and re-assembling both them – and the plot – in a tableau of delicious ridiculousness. Further, in addition to firmly elbowing its inspiration’s characters, dialogue and general content, Fifty Shames has a bit of a chortle at Fifty Shades’ Twilight fan-fic origins:

‘I open my eyes and stare down at Mr. Grey and HOLY MOTHER EFFING SPARKLY VAMPIRES IS HE HOT.’
.
.
.
‘“Miss Kraven,” the handsome CEO says, extending a long-fingered hand to me to assist me off his desk. I’d expected him to be British, but there’s no trace of an English accent in his voice. “I’m Edward Cullen. I mean, ‘Earl Grey.’ Have a seat?”’

I had a great time reading passages of this book aloud with a friend of mine – we took turns between fits of laughter – and whether you loved or hated the original, this is an incredibly fun read that will leave you with a smile on your face – private Hawaiian dinosaur parks, Dorm Rooms of Doom, white doves out of vaginas, and all.

Fifty Shames of Earl Grey is available from Amazon.co.uk (Kindle ; Paperback) and Amazon.com (Kindle ; Paperback).

The post Sheds, Shelves and Shame: the best of the Fifty Shades parodies appeared first on Behind the Chintz Curtain.

This week’s collection of articles and posts includes a Belfast Telegraph article, which suggests that they (and the husband of Fifty Shades author, E.L. James) need to buy a dictionary and look up the meaning of ‘masochist’, a chat with the London Mistress School, and a poor couple whose sex toy was ‘outed’ by United Continental.

Husband of Fifty Shades of Grey author insists ‘I’m no masochist’
Source: Belfast Telegraph

‘The Northern Irish husband of Fifty Shades of Grey author EL James has denied that she based the seductive Christian Grey character on him.

He said of the best-selling phenomenon: “I’m not a masochist and that’s all I’m going to say about our sex life.”’

Uh, I’m totally confused by this piece of journalism. Mr Leonard, your wife has written a book about a man who is a sadist. Therefore saying that you’re ‘not a masochist’ doesn’t make it seem any less likely that Erika didn’t base Christian Grey on you. FYI, the person doing the spanking, caning, and flagellating is the sadist, yes? Which, by my brilliant powers of deduction, would make the masochist the person on the receiving end of the palm/cane/flogger. Unless I’m misreading this completely and you’re simply trying to tease us by telling us what doesn’t float your boat, i.e. pain?

In any case, here are two very helpful Concise Oxford Dictionary definitions, just in case they’re of use to you or the members of the Belfast Telegraph editorial team:

masochism n. the tendency to derive pleasure, especially sexual gratification, from one’s own pain or humiliation.

ORIGIN C19: named after Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, the Austrian novelist who described it.

sadism n. the tendency to derive sexual gratification or general pleasure from inflicting pain, suffering, or humiliation on others.

ORIGIN C19: From Fr. sadisme, from the name of the C18 Fr. writer the Marquis de Sade.

LEARNING THE ROPES: The school where a woman discovers how to be a dominatrix
 Source: Islington Tribune

Richard Osley meets the founder of the London Mistress School, Mistress Josephine, and talks to her about teaching good, safe domination practices to women, the influence of BDSM on the high street, and changing attitudes. (I’m particularly pleased to read that Mistress Josephine is in discussion with Coco de Mer about putting on some seminars and workshops later this year. They’ve offered some really great classes and salons in the past, so I look forward to finding out what’s going to be on offer in due course.)

Gay couple sues airline after finding sex toy taped to their luggage
Source: NYDailyNews.com

Honey, is that our dildo or someone else’s?

The next time you’re standing at the arrivals carousel waiting for your suitcase, spare a thought for Christopher Bridgeman and Martin Borger, who arrived at baggage claim to find one of their sex toys tapped to the outside of their luggage. United Continental staff allegedly went through their personal items and coated the dildo they found with a ‘greasy foul-smelling substance’ before attaching it to the top of their bag. Amusing for fellow passengers, beyond mortifying for the owners of the toy. Not cool, airport security, not cool. If you must investigate people’s sexual paraphernalia, surely you can re-bag items after you’ve determined that they’re not a, uh, threat? ‘Weapon of mass destruction’ and ‘weapon of arse destruction’: two totally different things.

The post Masochism versus sadism, Domme school, and sex toys on baggage carousels appeared first on Behind the Chintz Curtain.

This is how you do it!
Source: New York Post

Fancy a career in voyeurism? A New York man has managed to set up a business that pays him to observe others having sex. Eric Amaranth, who is described by the New York Post as ‘gangly and unassuming’ has cultivated a client base who are willing to pay him USD$175.00 an hour for a ‘talk session’ (one assumes the chat differs markedly from that in the pub on an average Friday night) and a whopping USD$240.00 an hour for a ‘guided session’, during which he ‘observes’ their performances and offers pointers. What I want to know is, what earns you an ‘F’ (‘That’s inappropriate use of that vibrator, madam’), and whether voyeurism will be offered as an undergraduate course at leading universities? 

Virginity cream sparks Indian sex debate
Source: BBC

Want to feel ‘like a virgin’ again? Ultratech, a Mumbai-based pharmaceutical company is marketing a cream to Indian women that apparently ‘rejuvenates’ and ‘tightens’ the vagina. I have a number of issues with this concept – all of which are eloquently covered by the BBC’s article – but I have to say I was somewhat entertained by the very unlikely Bollywood-style advertisement being used to promote this product. Behold, dancing about vaginal tightening:

‘I like submissive sex but Fifty Shades is not about fun: it’s about abuse’
Source: The Guardian

This brilliantly written article is a must-read for anyone whose consumption of Fifty Shades of Grey has piqued an interest in sexual submission. Sophie Morgan eloquently talks about what being a submissive means to her – and why she has issues with E.L. James’s portrayal of D/s relationships.

The post Paid perving, re-vamped vaginas, and real submission appeared first on Behind the Chintz Curtain.

In a word, yes. Many (but not all) erotica and erotic romance authors and publishers use letters and acronyms in online blurbs to give readers an idea of how the characters in their stories relate to one another sexually. And that’s important, because it lets you know what you’re getting yourself into before you start reading. Turned on by lesbian sex? Love the idea of a threesome? Behold, Chintz’s quick and dirty guide to the erotic alphabet …

The letters ‘M’ and ‘F’

The basics: M = male and F = female.

• F/M? A story in which there is sex between a man and woman.
• M/M? A story in which there is sex between men.
• F/F? A story in which there is sex between women.

But it’s not just the genders in involved that you need to pay attention to; the placement of the letters in relation to one another is important as well:

• F/M/F?  A story in which there is sex involving more than one woman. The women only have sex* with the man and not each other.
• M/F/M? A story in which there is sex involving more than one man. The men only have sex with the woman and not each other.
• M/F/F? A story in which there is sex involving more than one woman. The women have sex with the man and each other.
• F/M/M? A story in which there is sex involving more than one man. The men have sex with the woman and each other.
• M/M? A story in which there is sex between men.
• F/F? A story in which there is sex between women.

* In this definition (and those that follow it), the word ‘sex’ is intended to mean a focussed encounter, penetrative or non-penetrative, between characters. Depending on your point-of-view, the fact that two women are actually in bed with one another, regardless of whether they’re actually touching, could conceivably be considered sexual relations.

My personal favourite? M/F/M.

BDSM

They’re aren’t many people who don’t now know what this means, in the broadest sense, thanks to E. L. James. But before Fifty Shades became popular, I was regularly asked what this acronym stood for. It’s important to realise that there’s a lot of information contained in these four letters – and they don’t always sit together as a nice, neat quartet. For example:

• B/D (or B&D) = bondage and discipline.
• D/s (or Ds, D&s) = Dominance and submission (note the capitalisation here – it’s significant as it further highlights the nature of the relationship being described).
• S/M (or S&M) = sadomasochism (or sadism and masochism).

Keep in mind that there are other ‘kinks’ that fall into the BDSM category even though they aren’t specifically represented by the letters – or combinations of them – described above. (A story might have all or some of more recognisable BDSM elements in it – D/s and B&D, for example – but it may contain others, too.)

The letters ‘M’ and ‘E’

If you see these two letters applied to the end of the word ‘Dom’ – it means that the ‘top’ or ‘dominant’ in the story is female. So:

• Dom = male top.
• Domme = female top.

An important distinction, depending on your BDSM reading preferences.

Useful? I hope so. Now go forth and find that M/M/M/M/M D/s cowboy romance you’ve been looking for!

The post From M/F/M to BDSM – the erotic alphabet appeared first on Behind the Chintz Curtain.

15 Real Sex Toys That Will Give You Nightmares
Source: http://www.cracked.com/

Dear God but this article from Cracked.com made my eyes bug out on stalks. I’m a pretty open-minded person but, boy, this post was a bit of an education. The title pretty much says it all and apparently, it’s a follow-on from the ‘most disturbing toys’ articles the author, Ian Fortey, wrote in 2008 and 2009.

The writing in this blog post is very funny and extremely witty – ensure you don’t have food or liquid in your mouth when reading because you will choke and/or spit them across the room – but a note of caution: if you’re easily offended or freaked out, steer clear. The article doesn’t feature any overt nudity or sex acts and there are a bunch of images that have been pixelated out in full to preserve your sanity but it’s still something of a trip. Favourite quote: ‘Finally, the sexual thrill of being a supermarket pork chop can be yours’. NSFW (Not Suitable for Work).

Why erotica is the new must-read
Source: http://www.thisissomerset.co.uk/

Elizabeth Forster, a pen name, talks about living in rural England and why she writes her erotica novels in secret. Author of Educating Anna and Sins of the Flesh – neither of which I’ve read but, after scanning their synopses on Amazon, feel strongly compelled to! – Elizabeth discusses why she thinks erotica and erotic romance books are so popular and how she deals with keeping her writing life under wraps from friends and family. I now have visions of the villagers of Shepton Mallet twitching their drapes and playing ‘guess the identity of the saucy book writer’…

Behind the Chintz Curtain indeed.

Fifty Shades Casting: Christian Grey, Tour Guide
Source: http://uk.eonline.com/

And, finally, the Fifty Shades of Grey juggernaut continues. You might have noticed that I mentioned this article on the Chintz Facebook page earlier in the week but if you missed that update, you’ll be pleased or horrified (depending on your point-of-view) to know that you can now visit Stratford upon Avon, home of the Royal Shakespeare company, birthplace of the Bard, and experience ‘An Evening with Christian Grey’. Yes, no more Tempest for you Merry Wives. Instead ‘a light-hearted experience, that will allow the visitors to celebrate a good time, drawing on some of the themes from the popular Fifty Shades trilogy.’ I wonder: will the Christian Grey stand-in – currently being recruited – get to flog the guests? And will The Falstaff Experience, the folks running this, er, show, have the bottle to include anal beads in a take-home goodie bag?

The post Strange sex toys, a secretive author, and Fifty Shades of Grey meets Shakespeare appeared first on Behind the Chintz Curtain.