Last week, I saw this tweet by blogger and writer Betty Herbert …

… and had something of a ‘heck, yeah!’ moment. Mainly because Betty had managed to articulate in less than 140 characters something that has been bugging me for a long time: sex toy manufacturers’ use of annoyingly euphemistic language within their instruction manuals. Or, put another way, their ridiculous insistence on providing virtually no practical instruction whatsoever when it comes to anything other than nuts and bolts functionality.

When I questioned her further about her tweet, Betty went on to say:

If you own a vibrator, or a dildo, or a cock ring, or a butt plug, or any other kind of sex toy or implement, you’ll likely understand exactly what it is she and I are talking about. How many times have you taken something out of the box, perused the manual, and gotten a run-down on Button A and Button B but nothing whatsoever about how or where to insert it? Looked at something online, twisted your head sideways and thought ‘how the hell does that work?’ Turned something over and over in your hands and, after scratching the old noggin, thought ‘well, I get the basic idea, but is this the front or the back?’ Granted, most of us can work out where to stick a dildo or a vibrator but as toy designs evolve and change, become more sophisticated, it’s not always as simple as it might seem to navigate the parameters of functionality. Continue reading →