THE THORN BIRDS, COLLEEN McCULLOUGH – AMAZON U.K.

If you’ve never read The Thorn Birds (or seen the incredibly cheesy film version staring Rachel Ward, Richard Chamberlain and Aussie icon Bryan Brown – c.f. the roll-around-laughing-til-you-wet-yourself trailer above), click on the above buy link right now. Now, I say! This iconic novel is currently in the Amazon U.K. Kindle Monthly Deal Bin for £0.99 and if you want to be swept up and away by a book that makes Days of Our Lives seem light on the drama, look no further.

TWO FOR $25.00 ON SELECTED BUTT PLUGS – LOVEHONEY U.S.

As the title suggests, Lovehoney U.S. are currently running a ‘two for’ promotion on selected butt plugs, so if you’re looking for a bit of bottom love, this is definitely one to check out. There are some nice silicone plugs on offer (I’d recommend choosing toys made from this material over the jelly types as the latter often contain phthalates), including the Beaded Silicone Butt Plug with Finger Loop, the Lovehoney Booty Buddy, and the Adrien Lastic Anal Triball Beaded Butt Plug.

To see all the butt plugs in the promotion, click here.

HALF-PRICE ROCK-CHICK – ADAM & EVE

The Rock-Chick is a silicone vibrator is designed to stimulate the clitoris and G-Spot (hello squirting orgasm!) and Adam & Eve are currently offering it at half-price (reduced from $69.95 to $34.97) – a nice little saving. The reviews are mixed but at this price it may be worth considering.

 TWO FOR £15.00 ON TENGA EGGS – LOVEHONEY U.K.

One for the boys.

Not seen or heard of these little beauties before? Tenga Eggs are wonderful little single-use penis masturbators that hide inside a variety of different coloured shells. They’re cute, fun and a perfect little treat for yourself or a significant other. Lovehoney U.K. are currently offering two eggs for £15.00, including the very groovy Keith Haring Party, Dance, and Street designs.

Happy Friday, all!

The post Freebies and Discounts: Catholic Priests, Butts, Eggs, and Rock Chicks appeared first on Behind the Chintz Curtain.

Just a quick note before we get into it … I’ve tried to pick eBooks, for the most part, that sound like they’ve actually been written by people with a basic grasp of spelling, syntax, and grammar but sincere apologies in advance if you end up with something that appears to have been written in crayon by a six-year-old. That said, these titles are all free (or were at the time of listing), so if they’re utter rubbish, you’ll have lost absolutely nothing by downloading them except space on your eReader. And maybe a few brain cells.

FREE EBOOKS

*Please note that all of the below were free at the time of this post’s publication but pricing can change at any time. To that end, please double-check that the prices are still at zero before you start downloading.

Out of the Shadows – Senta Holland

• Amazon.co.uk
• Amazon.com

According to the blurb, this is one for those who enjoyed The Secret Diary of a Submissive.

‘A deeply felt and superbly written BDSM love story, Senta Holland’s ‘Out of the Shadows’ explores the beautiful darkness in seven bedrooms.

Senta, a thirty something Londoner, travels around the planet looking for the man who can match her. The one she finds is her ‘Nai’, a high society American in Asia.

Senta’s story is both complicated and made more exciting by the fact that it unfolds in the dark world of BDSM, a world that can be hostile to single, independent females.

Highly erotic, deeply romantic and insightful this book shows the BDSM experience from the inside out, as reality, not just fantasy.’

Unbroken – Carolynn Amara

• Amazon.co.uk 
• Amazon.com 

I’m a sucker for military romance, myself …

‘When Alex Ramirez returns home from Afghanistan, his wife is thrilled to have her husband back. But the man that returns isn’t the same fresh-faced eager soldier that boarded the plane so many months ago. He may have left the war in another country but the one that brews inside follows him everywhere he goes. Can Anna find the strength to stand by the man she barely recognizes?’

 Keep Me Safe – Duka Dakarai

• Amazon.co.uk
• Amazon.com

‘Debated whether to stick this beastie in due to the alarmingly incorrect use of marks of ellipsis in the blurb (overload!) but was ultimately swayed by the candyfloss-sounding plot. (Sometimes, the cock-eyed stuff is great fun.) Be warned: this might be a ‘written in crayon’ choice.

Sky Sinclair is the sexy, sassy investigative journalist known for digging the dirt on the underworld. She oozes sex appeal and knows how to use it to open the doors of the worlds most hardened criminals…..but now her latest investigation turns personal……

Kane is an ex British SAS Captain who now runs Elite Defence. Dark and brooding, he shoots first and asks questions later. He prefers actions, not words. His assignments are Top Secret and always high risk.

When DCI Jack Mercer of the Specialist Crime Squad at New Scotland Yard calls in a favour, Kane is about to take on his toughest assignment yet…..to keep safe the one woman who he secretly rescued from a hostage situation four years ago. Sky Sinclair.

Keep Me Safe tells their story.’

Super Dark 1 (Super Dark Trilogy) – Tanith Morse

Kobo ePub

Teen contemporary romance. Go on. You know you want to.

‘Darkness stalks seventeen-year-old Sam Harper. Ten years ago on Halloween night, she and her best friend Elliot were snatched by grotesque creatures and Sam narrowly escaped with her life. Now a decade on, the police investigation has ground to a halt and Elliot’s whereabouts remains a mystery. Traumatized by her ordeal, Sam finds it hard to make friends. She is mistrustful of authority and changed schools more times than she cares to remember. To Sam, the world is cruel and unforgiving. Then she meets the enigmatic Lee Weaver. With his gorgeous face and magnetic presence, he turns heads wherever he goes. Sam has never wanted anyone as much as she wants Lee, but there are things about the alluring stranger that don’t add up, leading Sam to ask unsettling questions about her past. Soon she discovers the boy of her dreams is keeping a terrible secret: one that threatens to destroy everything Sam holds dear. Super Dark is a seductive love story that will keep you guessing right until the final page.’

TOYS

Passion8

Currently have a ‘3 for 2’ deal going on. There are over thirty toys included in the promotion, including the PalmPower Massager Wand, the Jimmyjane Form 2 and the Aneros Vice.

Crystal Delights

Don’t forget the back door! These guys do beautiful anal toys (their fur-tailed butt plugs are to die for) but they currently have a special on their small vintage plugs, which have been reduced from $94.95 to $84.95.

The Wood Wang Workshop

Okay, this one isn’t really a ‘deal’ per se, but I couldn’t resist highlighting it because I think it’s a lovely idea. For £10.00, The Wood Wang Workshop, who specialise in gorgeous, handcrafted wooden sex toys (including dildos, paddles and butt plugs) will personalise any spanking paddle you buy from them. Choose the style of paddle you’d like, chose the wood you’d like it made in, give them the text, et voilà! More details here.

The post Sexy on a Budget: romance, butt plugs and personalised spanking paddles appeared first on Behind the Chintz Curtain.

Image: Evolved Bendable Silicone Rose Vibrator, courtesy of Vibrator Kingdom

A Hallmark card with a schmaltzy message. Flowers. Chocolate. Jewellery.

Yawn.

I’m in two minds about Valentine’s Day. On the one hand, I think it’s great to tell and show your partner that you love and appreciate them. On the other, I’m not that keen on being railroaded into buying a load of sentimental tat for a day that has, over the years, become less about romance and more about commerce.

The numbers are staggering. According to History.com, men, on average, open their wallets to the tune of USD $150.00. Women? USD $75.00. The amount of chocolate sold? 58 million pounds worth. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Take a look at this Valentine’s Day by the numbers meme they put together.

What a long, long way from Lupercalia – the Roman pagan festival many believe to be the origin of the modern Valentine’s Day celebrations – we’ve come. No blatant nudity or gentle flogging with thongs these days (more’s the pity). Just lots of cardboard, slowly wilting vegetation, sugar, and hearts on chains.

My proposal for this Valentine’s Day? Don’t go crazy on the cash. Keep the fun, sex, and debauchery of the original Lupercalian festival (sans the animal sacrifices) front and centre.

No idea where to begin looking for a lusty present? Some ‘starters for ten’ …

An alternative to red roses …

Evolved Bendable Silicone Rose Vibrator (see image above)
Price: £24.99
From: Vibrator Kingdom

Induces orgasms and doesn’t need watering or throwing out after a week. Now that’s a flower I’d like to receive …

One for the historians …

Luxury Suede Flogger Whip
Price: £21.99
From: Bondara

In keeping with the Lupercalian festival tradition of gently flogging your woman … (And it’s red! So it’s on-theme!)

Image: Luxury Suede Flogger Whip, courtesy of Bondara

For romantics and role-players …

I am Mr Darcy t-shirt
Price: £25.00
From: The Jane Austen Centre

‘In vain I have struggled, it will not do. My feelings will not be repressed – you must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.’

– Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen.

My, God, but I love Mr Darcy. I think it’s the breeches. And maybe the riding crop …

An alternative to a heart …

Rocks-Off ‘The Lick’ silicone vibrator
Price: £19.99 (approx.)
From: Adult Sensations (Canada) | Amazon.com | Lovehoney U.K. | Rock-Chick

We all know that hearts say ‘I love you’, but I would assert that tongues do, too – both literally and figuratively!

Image: Rocks-Off ‘The Lick’ silicone vibrator, courtesy of Rocks-Off

For lovers of jewellery …

njoy Pure Medium Stainless Steel Butt Plug
Price: £37.00 – £70.00 (depending on retailer)
From: Amazon.com | Lovehoney

Necklaces, rings and bracelets … Boring. Go below the waist and decorate a loved one’s bottom with this gorgeous stainless steel njoy plug. It even comes in a jewellery box – how perfect is that? (I haven’t tried one of these myself but know others who have and they rave about their weight and design.)

For word worms …

Goolnick Erotic Fridge Magnet Poetry Set
Price: £12.85
From: Amazon.co.uk | Amazon.com

Magnetic dirty talk. Bawdy poems. Lascivious lists. Deviant instructions. So many possibilities … How nice would it be to come home and find a a mischievous message or dirty ditty on the fridge? (Provided you don’t have small people around who can read, of course!)

However you choose to celebrate Valentine’s Day, don’t forget to tell your other half-that you love them. In the words of one of my all-time favourite erotica writers, Anaïs Nin:

‘Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age.’

The post Now that’s a Valentine’s gift … appeared first on Behind the Chintz Curtain.

What we used: Pony Play Butt Plug Whip (small)
Brand: Doc Johnson
From: UberKinky
Price: £19.99
Material(s): plug – PVC (latex-free, phthalate-free); tail whip – synthetic (unspecified)

If you like the idea of a butt plug with a little decoration, or have a penchant for pony play, the Doc Johnson Pony Play Butt Plug Whip may be all the excuse you need to mount up.

First thoughts …

Lizzie
The very first butt plug I ever tried – quite a few years back now – was a Doc Johnson offering and it looked very, very similar to this one – albeit slightly larger and without the glossy black tail sprouting from the base. I really liked that old plug, so was very much looking forward to trying this one out.

The first word that sprang to mind looking at this toy? Cute! It’s a very manageable size and the tail gives it lovely kinky little twist. Pony play isn’t one of my particular kinks but I do love the idea of decorative butt plugs, so the Pony Play Butt Plug Whip fits that bill perfectly.

Thomas
This is a small butt plug, not much bigger than a finger. It does have a large base, though – which is essential, as you don’t want to lose your toy while in use! The tail ‘hair’ (if you can call it that) is attached to the latter and made from rather wiry plastic stands. Honestly, it’s not the most pleasantly tactile material I’ve ever come across but the choice of synthetic does herald easy cleaning.

The construction …

Lizzie
The butt plug itself is made of nice, soft PVC, which, in my experience, is important if you’re new to anal play/anal sex. Why? Because it has a bit of give to it and that makes a plug slightly easier to ‘take’ when it’s being inserted. (Glass, steel and ceramic plugs don’t compress in the same way.) The only downside is that it has a slight plasticky smell about it, although this isn’t particularly strong.

Size-wise, this butt plug is very unassuming. It has an insertable length of 9.5 centimetres (3.75 inches) and a diameter of 2.5 centimetres (1 inch). In real terms, that’s just slightly bigger than the average masculine index finger. A perfect size if you’re a beginner.

The tail is attached to the base of the plug and made of what looks to be strands of black nylon, which are approximately 40 centimetres (15.75 inches) in length.

Thomas
The plug is much the same as others we have used except for the tail, which looks to be well attached. It’s a very simple toy, really; you just need to make sure you clean it well before and after use with hot water, anti-bac soap, and toy cleaner. The widest point of the butt plug is not much larger than the tip, so it’s not particularly intimidating.

Using it

Lizzie
Thomas took my by surprise with this one because I’d completely forgotten that the tail on this butt plug could be used as a whip. The first time he struck me with it I was blindfolded and got very confused about what was actually making contact with me. (I know all the toys in our toy box extremely well and can generally tell straight away which one he’s using on me – sight or no sight.) The impact was very mild in the scheme of things but because the whip strands are synthetic, you do get the merest hint of a sting from the ends if there’s enough force behind the blow.

Because I’m used to anal sex and other anal toys, inserting the actual butt plug section wasn’t a problem for me but all the usual golden rules applied: lots and lots of lube, warm up with fingers first, relax. However, once it was inserted I did encounter something new.

Over the years, Thomas and I have tried out a lot of butt plugs but they’ve all generally been medium in size. Because the Pony Play Butt Plug Whip is relatively slender and doesn’t have a particularly deep groove at the base to lodge it in the same way as a larger plug, I really had to work to hold it in place. For some people, this might be a minus but for us, this actually gave us the opportunity to play a rather nice game: If I dropped the plug, I got a punishment. If I kept it in place, I got a reward. (Although the ‘reward’ was a double-edged sword as I had to try and hold the damn thing in whilst having an orgasm – and that wasn’t particularly easy!)

I did like feeling the brush of the tail against my legs but for obvious reasons I can’t say how it looked from an in-situ aesthetics perspective. I do know, however, that contracting my internal muscles to hold the butt plug in place caused the tail to twitch – and Thomas definitely liked the look of that.

Thomas
After a good clean with toy cleaner to start (essential) and giving Lizzie a proper warm-up it was time to try it out.

First up, a bit of anticipatory whipping. The plug made a decent handle and was quite good to hold onto, but the hair tail didn’t have a lot of weight to it so I needed to get a good swing going to give Lizzie a reasonable flick. With that in mind, I wouldn’t rave about it but it’s a decent whip for more sensitive areas or those who want a lighter touch.

The butt plug. As with all anal play, the rule is too much lube is about the right amount. I wasn’t overly gentle inserting this toy as Lizze is used to both anal sex and slightly larger items, so after a copious amount of lube was applied to the plug and her, in it went. Generally, I like to tease Lizzie as I insert anal toys, usually holding them at the widest point for a few seconds to get the best reaction out of her. As this plug had a relatively small girth, though, the effect when I did this was not as great and her reaction was rather muted. I also noticed she was having trouble holding it in (not an issue with larger plugs) due to the very shallow ridge between the body and the base stem, which is there – in theory – to seat the plug and stop it sliding out. So as Lizzie mentioned above, I decided we’d play a game of ‘hold it in or else’, which was quite fun. Her failure involved several punishments for disobedience and there were several rewards for complying – which, in turn, caused her to fail. (It’s a difficult job but someone has to teach her.)

As for the look, pony play has never been my thing, although I do like riding ;-). And I must say Lizzie looked very fetching with a tail; seeing her wearing this plug was undoubtedly a turn on for me – especially when she made strands of hair move with her efforts to keep hold of it.

I think if the plug was larger (and less likely to fall out) there would be more you could do with the tail (tugging, pulling, leading, etc.) so if you or your partner can cope with a bit more width, I’d suggest going for this toy in the next size up (medium).

The verdict?

Lizzie
An adorable little butt plug that will appeal to those who enjoy role play – pony play in particular – and/or those who like their anal toys with a bit of decoration. The plug section of this toy is a perfect size for beginners, but be aware that you’ll need to do some work with your internal muscles to hold it in place. (If you want a plug that goes in and stays in without any effort on the wearer’s part, you might want to opt for the Pony Play Butt Plug Whip in medium rather than small. Keep in mind, though, that you will need to stretch more to accommodate the wider diameter.)

Thomas
I nice little plug, good for beginners, or if you are into pony play and want something easy on the bottom. I don’t think it would satisfy anyone who’s keen on anal play for too long as it is quite small and the tendency to fall out could be annoying. I also suspect those who’re into pony play in a serious way may want something with more realistic hair. But, like we have said, it’s a good starter.

In summary …

Things we liked …

• The plug material. It’s not too firm and gives a little upon insertion.
• The ‘accessible kink’ factor. From a purely functional perspective, this is a very mild toy but it covers a lot of bases: anal sex and decoration, whips, and role play. You can use it for just one of these things – or all three.
• The colours. The contrast of the red plug and black tail is very pleasing.

Things we weren’t so keen on …

• The PVC odour, but that’s a very minor quibble.
• This plug does require the wearer to hold it in place, so the Pony Play Butt Plug Whip in medium would be a better choice for those who want a more secure fit.
• The ‘hair’ is okay for a whip, but not very tail-like.

Tickle your fancy? Click here to buy the Pony Play Butt Plug Whip (in small and medium) from UberKinky.

*Please note that this item was provided free of charge by UberKinky in exchange for a fair review.

The post A butt plug with a twist – or, rather, a tail appeared first on Behind the Chintz Curtain.

‘The Fifty Shades of Grey official collection is beautifully packaged, discreet and couple-friendly. Products are supplied with a luxurious, branded storage bag and each comes with suggestions for use and tips on introducing the toys into a relationship.’

Yes, fans of the series will soon be able to buy ‘Inner Goddess – Silver Pleasure Balls’, ‘You. Are. Mine. – Metal Handcuffs’, a ‘Submit To Me – First Time Bondage Kit’, ‘All Mine – Deluxe Satin Blackout Mask’, the ‘Sweet Sting – Riding Crop’, and the ‘Twitchy Palm – Spanking Paddle’.

Which begs the question: will we see a move towards more book-branded sex toys in the future? I’ve long believed that erotica and erotic romances can have a direct influence on the adult toys we choose to buy, as well as our sexual experiences – in fact, that’s the main premise of this blog! – but I’m curious to know just how many of us use what we read to inspire our purchases (sex-oriented or otherwise). So tell me: does J.R. Ward’s Black Dagger Brotherhood make you want to rush out and buy Biolage, Patek Philippe, and Diamonds by the Yard? Or Maya Banks’ Sweet Persuasion a crop and a butt plug?

Enquiring minds want to know!

The post Lovehoney to release official range of Fifty Shades of Grey sex toys appeared first on Behind the Chintz Curtain.