02

Bind and Keep Me - Cari SilverwoodTitle: Bind and Keep Me (Pierced Hearts, Book 2)
Author: Cari Silverwood
Publisher: Cari Silverwood (29 August 2013)
ISBN: 9781301773190
Reviewer(s): Michael & Jane

Two words: still recovering. Bind and Keep Me is non-con BDSM erotica at its absolute best. If you like your tales dark, you’re not going to want to miss this one.

*You can click on any of the stick figure drawings below to make them bigger. Which many of you will likely need to do if your eyesight is as bad as mine and you can’t read the writing!

 

JANE’S TAKE

This book should come with a health warning:

Caution! Jaw may drop to floor and disconnect from face. The author assumes no responsibility for readers who spontaneously combust with arousal and/or spend days wondering whether their moral compass needs resetting as a result of reading (and enjoying) this book.

 

Jane's Jaw

Leave your sanity at the door because there is absolutely no way that Bind and Keep Me can be put into either the Safe, Sane and Consensual (SSC) or Risk Aware Consensual Kink (RACK) buckets. There is unsafe play in spades. There is insane play by the truckload. There is non-consent to the power of a hundred overlaid with the veneer of incredibly dubious consent. There is risk with a capital ‘R’. And there is kink. Oh, man is there kink. Continue reading

21

Jack's Floggers crop

What we used: standard riding crop
From: Jack’s Floggers
Material(s): leather, glass fibre
Price: £12.00
Reviewer(s): Lizzie & Thomas

A crop is a crop is a crop. Or is it? Find out what Lizzie and Thomas think of their newest purchase from U.K.-based Jack’s Floggers.

First thoughts

Lizzie
So, can I just say that my eyes were going all over the place when I saw Jack’s line up of truly beautiful implements at LAM (the London Alternative Market), which is where Thomas and I bought this lovely, lovely riding crop a month or two back. The quality of Jack’s products was abundantly clear but, not only that, they were all, without exception, incredibly stylish. This crop stood out to me, first and foremost, because of the colour – I’m a sucker for red – but as soon as I picked it up, I thought ‘ooh!’. Our current Bondage Boutique crop, the one we reviewed a while back, is now a little worse for wear and, lately, we’ve noticed the keeper has started to part company with the shaft.

Thomas
Like Lizzie, I noticed straight away that this crop of Jack’s looked and felt far superior to our current one. And although they’re both about the same length overall (approximately 27.5 inches from end to end) the leather strop/keeper on his design is much longer (7.0 inches at the attachment point as opposed to 4.5). Continue reading

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Kaylee's KeeperTitle: Kaylee’s Keeper (Masters of The Castle #2)
Author: Maren Smith
Publisher: Blushing Books Publications (5 July 2013)
ASIN: B00DT7YTYE
Reviewer(s): Michael & Jane

Oh, ho-ho. Michael knocked it out of the park with this joint read-and-review choice. Spanking, D/s, violet wands, vegetable safewords. Funny, hot and totally sexy.

MICHAEL’S TAKE

So Kaylee has been saving up for the moment of her life: a trip to The Castle, the hottest BDSM resort in Central Ohio. She gets to spend three whole days living out her fantasies.

She just has one teeny tiny little problem. She’s no clear idea of what her fantasies will be like in real life. She has never played, never been to a club, never done anything. And she is sure of one thing: if she tells The Truth, admits to her inexperience, she’ll be spending her entire stay in the kiddie pool wearing water wings.

So she lies. Not a big lie. She just wants them to think she has some experience. What could go wrong? It isn’t like they are going to drag her down to an underground dungeon and send in a Hulking Brute in an Executioner’s Mask with a Bullwhip, is it? Okay, so maybe it was a big lie. Continue reading

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Today, I have the great pleasure of welcoming the fabulously funny Sheri Savill behind my very chintzy curtains because, lo! She hath just written a BDSM erotica parody by the name of Bound for Disappointment (a.k.a BFD) and, in the past few days, set said satirical masterpiece afloat upon the waters of the Mighty River Zon, unleashed it within the Noble Barn. What better time to pull her into my floral den and force her to answer serious questions about her latest release?

Prepare yourselves. This could get a little messy.

—————————————————————-

Bound for DisappointmentJane: Welcome, Ms Savill! It is an honour to have you here in my erotic Laura Ashley-stroke-Cath Kidston paradise. First of all, why don’t you give us a brief run down on YOU. Who is Sheri, really, and what is she about? What does she spread on her toast in the morning? Does she take milk in her coffee? Does she pay her electricity bill on time?

Sheri: Greetings Jane! And if I may, just a quick hello to the last of your readers as they rush for the doors. So glad to be here! At last! I’m Behind the Chintz Curtain. And may I say it is every bit as lovely as I had suspected it would be. The pictures do NOT do it justice. I expected nice, but this is really elegant. And thank you for setting out the cheesy poofs for me. A most thoughtful gesture.

Jane: Let’s begin our Bound for Disappointment discussion by talking a little bit about Tara Febreze, the book’s intrepid erotic author heroine. What – or who – inspired her creation and could you tell us a little more about the etymology of her name? It has a very French feel to it and I am curious as to whether you may have been influenced by the great Anne Desclos of Story of O fame.

Sheri: Very perceptive of you Jane, to notice the literary influences as to Tara’s name. Yes, the name conjures cheap French perfume and odour-masking aerosols. The name Tara … I was thinking of Scarlett O’Hara’s plantation and of course Scarlett wore corsets. See how it all connects so cleverly? So well-crafted, isn’t it? Or, maybe I just got up one morning and, before I’d had that first life-giving slug of espresso, let out a breathy sigh and said to myself, “Hmm. Name for character. Let’s see. How ’bout Tara? Febreze? Yeah, good a name as any. Clackety-clack.” Oh no! Trade secrets given away here on Chintz Curtain. Redact! Continue reading

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Thai Nipple Sticks (floral)

If you’ve been rummaging around in the Chintz Toy Box, you may remember that last year, Thomas and Lizzie reviewed a set of Squeezer Teaser nipple clamps.  Low and behold, that post has gone on to become one the most popular and visited on Behind the Chintz Curtain and, even weeks and months after its publication, it continues to draw readers on a regular basis. It seems there’s a definite appetite to know more about the practice of nipple clamping – the various clamp styles, how they’re used, the pros and cons of the different designs out there, and the sensations they create.

How intense are they? Are they easy to get on? What happens, exactly, when you take them off?

To that end, I’ve asked the pair of them to put together a quick ‘n’ dirty overview of their clamping experiences, discussing their perceptions of the sensations clamps generate, and a breakdown of the benefits and hindrances of the various styles on offer.

IMPORTANT: This isn’t a ‘how to’ guide. If you think clamping is something you’d like to try, please make sure you do your homework and are aware of the risks involved/understand how to apply clamps safely. Please also take the time to read the Behind the Chintz Curtain disclaimer.

 

Sensation

Lizzie
First off, let me say this: clamping won’t be for everyone. To use the old flavouring analogy (although I’ll avoid the term ‘vanilla’) it’s all a matter of taste. For me, personally? I find that having my nipples clamped incredibly erotic and the sensation of compression a huge turn on. Bluntly, I get aroused by the pain they generate – the hit when they go on, the ache they generate once applied, and the devilish throb that kicks in when they come off. Some of the more intense styles also leave me feeling incredibly sensitive after removal and there is nothing nicer, I think, than experiencing the brush of clothing, or lips, or fingers a day or two later and being reminded of what Thomas and I did together to make them that way. Continue reading

09

Remember the write up that Michael and I did for Cari Silverwood’s Take Me, Break Me back in March? Of course you do! Who could forget deliciously sadistic Klaus and Jodie of the capture fantasy? Well, Cari, God bless her, stopped by Chintz to read our review after we’d posted it and was sweet enough to pay us both some lovely compliments on our respective ramblings. She even said nice things about my questionable ‘art’ skills. (I can’t help but have serious love for anyone who gets my stick figures.)

Anyway the other day, Michael and I received a fantastic surprise: Take Me, Break Me will soon be released in paperback and guess whose words will be appearing on the cover? Yup. Mr M’s. Continue reading

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Truth - Sherri HayesTitle: Truth (Finding Anna)
Author: Sherri Hayes
Publisher: The Writer’s Coffee Shop (25 July 2013)
ISBN: 9781612131610
Reviewer: Jane

 

Doing the wrong thing for the right reasons. (Well, mostly.)

How do I even begin reviewing Truth? Firstly, let me say that if you haven’t read the previous two books in the Finding Anna series, Slave and Need, you’re going to be seriously, seriously lost if you go straight in with this one. It cannot be read as a stand-alone. All three instalments are closely tied together and to truly appreciate the circumstances that Brianna and Stephan find themselves in, you need to understand how they got to where they are. Continue reading

04

This Is Who I Am - Cherise SinclairTitle: This Is Who I Am (Shadowlands Book 7)
Author: Cherise Sinclair
Publisher: Loose Id LLC (27 May 2013)
ISBN: 978-1-62300-148-3
Reviewer(s): Michael & Jane

 

This joint review was a no-brainer for us. Michael and I are both big fans of Cherise Sinclair and it’s fair to say that we were both gagging to read this latest instalment in her Shadowlands series. When I suggested to him that This Is Who I Am should be our next project?

 

@Jane: I have been looking forward to that book for over a year:

‘”I won’t scar you. I won’t go past when you can take. If you can trust me that far, this will be much easier for you.” He met her eyes straight on, letting her read his body, hear the truth, and see it in his face. “But, Linda, I’m going to hurt you. You’ll hate me when I make you take it, and you’ll hate even more that you need it. That it fills that hole inside you and cleans away the clutter.”‘

(To Command and Collar (Shadowlands Book 6))

 

@Michael: CANNOT WAIT for Sam. And DeVries from Dark Haven. They both scare and tempt at the same time … *sigh*

 

Yep, we were pushing the download button on release day.

Did it live up to our expectations? Continue reading

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Title: The Compound
Author: Claire Thompson
Publisher: Romance Unbound Publishing (30 Jan 2013)
ISBN: 978-1482302493
Reviewer(s): Michael & Jane

 

Bondage! BDSM! The Beatles! And, no, that last one’s not a typo. In this joint review of The CompoundMichael and I get a bit rock ‘n’ roll. (I know, I know, I know. Just go with it.)

*Proceed with caution: spoilers ahoy-hoy

 

JANE’S TAKE …

 

 

Completely confused by the presence of the Fab Four in this review? Don’t worry, all will become clear as mud, I promise. Continue reading

02

In today’s Alert Me, themed BDSM implements, a totally groovy granny, and some very interesting cake decorations …

 

Star Wars BDSM toys from a kinky galaxy far, far away
Source: io9.com

Attention kinky sci-fi fans! Tying up getting a bit terrestrial? Need some fantasy to go with your fetish? Well, go and check out Geek Kink’s incredibly interesting little shop on Etsy. Sith-inspired paddles. Darth Vader lightsabre floggers … Everything you need, really, to go to the Dark Side. No Princess Leia in chains though; you may have to supply her yourself. And if Star Wars isn’t your bag, panic not. You can always go for a Super Mario cane or a My Little Pony paddle (!).

NB: ten points to Geek Kink for his shop tag line: ‘These are the toys you’re looking for’.

 

The oldest romance writer in the world
Source: The New Zealand Herald

I really enjoyed reading this article about 105-year-old Ida Pollock who is, apparently, the oldest living romance writer in the world. Go her. But the thing I liked even more? The accompanying YouTube clip. Cracked me up no end. There’s an incredibly entertaining discourse about the merits of French, Austrian and English heroes. And very emphatic use of the word ‘What?!’ by Ida every so often. Sweet and hilarious all at the same time.

 

James Franco Gets Sex-Toy Birthday Cake and an Award at Miami LGBT Film Festival
Source: E! Online U.K.

 

‘I’d like a piece with the ball gag on it, please.’

 

A strap-on. A ball gag. Anal beads. A flogger. Nope, I’m not talking about sex toys (well, not real ones) but the decorations on actor James Franco’s birthday cake. The sort that aren’t likely available in the baking aisle at Sainsbury’s. You can just imagine everyone eating a slice of this beauty after the candles have been blown out, can’t you? (‘Try the strap-on. It’s delicious!’) I’m not sure I’d be able to get my head around eating anal beads, though – even if they were made of sugar! :-/