28

Talk Dirty

Image: courtesy of Tech Affair

‘Do you talk during sex? Do you like to be talked to during sex? What do you say or what do you like to hear? Does it excite you or does it turn you off?’

Words. They have the ability to steal the breath more effectively than a cane, settle beneath the skin more deeply than the thud of a flogger, bind and hold us more firmly than any rope.

When I saw that this was the topic prompt for this week’s Wicked Wednesday, I was thrilled (superb suggestion, Lord Raven). Why? Well, words are a huge (huge) part of my personal kink.

Sex, for me, is rarely silent. It’s always better when there’s verbal communication going on, because, in my opinion, while our bodies generally give our partners a pretty good idea as to whether we’re enjoying ourselves (or not), the right words have the ability to elevate and texture an exchange in a way that nothing else can. They give the speaker and the listener the opportunity to further engage the senses, to fall more fully into an experience and connect more deeply with one another. Over time, I’ve come to understand that I actually need the verbal element in order to reach the places that I find most satisfying. I don’t mean that I require a constant stream of words and chatter to orgasm. Far from it. Rather, that a few choice words and phrases have the ability to elevate sex or a D/s exchange to a whole other level. Put simply, my brain needs to be engaged for me to be aroused and language plays a massive part in its stimulation. Continue reading

06

Eroticon 2013

If you’re a regular Chintz visitor, you’ll know that I was lucky enough to win one of three Xcite-sponsored tickets to Eroticon 2013, which was held in London last weekend. The conference ran for two full days and featured what can only be described as a truly mighty line-up of speakers, all there to encourage us, whatever our medium – blog or book – to write sex right.

I was so excited to be able to attend, although I must admit I was a little nervous about walking into a crowd of people I’d never met in person before. The very lovely Emma over at Dirty Little Whispers, who I speak to a fair bit online (and who also won a sponsored ticket) thankfully agreed to meet up with me during the initial registration session so I’d be a little less ‘island in the ocean’. However, while I was waiting for her to arrive, I happened to go and stand next to a woman who was busy perusing the weekend’s schedule. We got to chatting and what do you know? Her name was Tamsin Flowers and she was the winner of the third Xcite sponsorship. So in a room full of people, we’d somehow managed to gravitate towards each other. Spooky! (Is there such a thing as Xcite vibes?)

After listening to Ruby Kiddell’s lovely welcome and Rebecca Findlay’s talk about the XES: We Can’t Go Backwards campaign (did you know that on 1 April 2013 contraception and STI services will no longer be provided by the NHS but your local council?!) I said farewell to Tamsin, and Emma and I headed off to the first of many fabulous seminars, Molly Moore’s Myth Busting: the Submissive Woman. Continue reading