28

Woohoo! Good clean fun?

What we used: woohoo! water-based intimate lubricant
From: Boots
Price:  £5.99 – £6.99 for a 50ml tube
Ingredient(s): Aqua (water), Cyamopsis tetragonolbus (Guar gum)*, Ceratonia siliqua (Locust bean gum)*, Aloe barbadensis leaf juice powder (Aloevera)*, Camellia sinensis (Green tea extract)*, Equisetem arvense (Horsetail extract)*, Carrageenan (Red seaweed extract), Phenoxyethanol, Potassium sorbate, Citric acid

*Organically grown ingredients.

Is organic better? Lizzie shares her thoughts on Soil Association-certified woohoo! lubricant.

First thoughts …

Lizzie
It’s very easy to get stuck in a lube rut. You find one, it makes things sufficiently slippery, job done. Thomas and I often use the same brand for months at a time and then, usually because the one we’re courting is out-of-stock at our supermarket (we tend to buy lube as part of our grocery shop), we switch and the cycle starts again. Occasionally, a new lube will catch my eye when I’m in the local pharmacy, generally because it has some sort of twist to it (‘cooling!’, ‘heating!’, etc.) and I’ll pick it up, but I’m fundamentally a simple girl and have discovered over time that I like my lube plain and simple – non-irritating, water-based and with a decent texture to it. If I want hot and cold, there are other things around the house the work just as well – but that’s another post entirely.

woohoo! is a bit of a departure from the status quo for me as I consider organic products a ‘nice to have’ rather than an essential – I don’t make a habit of buying them – but I do have to say that I’m not immune to the appeal of slathering a chemical-free substance on and inside myself. Continue reading →

23

From M/F/M to BDSM – the erotic alphabet

Letters. They have quite an important role in erotica and erotic romance book synopses. If you’re a seasoned reader of titles from these genres, you’ll know immediately what I’m talking about, but if Fifty Shades of Grey was your first foray into racy reading, you may be somewhat curious – or perhaps confused – as to what all the letters and acronyms you’re encountering in erotic book descriptions actually mean. Should you pay any attention to them? Are they important? Is there any difference between a book that has M/F/M listed in its description from one that has M/M/F?

In a word, yes. Many (but not all) erotica and erotic romance authors and publishers use letters and acronyms in online blurbs to give readers an idea of how the characters in their stories relate to one another sexually. And that’s important, because it lets you know what you’re getting yourself into before you start reading. Turned on by lesbian sex? Love the idea of a threesome? Behold, Chintz’s quick and dirty guide to the erotic alphabet … Continue reading →

22

Strange sex toys, a secretive author, and Fifty Shades of Grey meets Shakespeare

I love the Internet. It’s an endless river of information at my fingertips. A few quick key taps and I can find out about pretty much anything. But, lately, you know what I’ve really developed a thing for? Google Alerts. Having the ability to use words and phrases to throw up all sorts of news articles, blog posts, commentaries and clips that directly – and sometimes very tenuously – relate to things that interest me. So today, I thought I’d share some of the more intriguing Chintzy links that have arrived in my inbox, courtesy of GA, over the past week or so …

 

15 Real Sex Toys That Will Give You Nightmares
Source: http://www.cracked.com/

Dear God but this article from Cracked.com made my eyes bug out on stalks. I’m a pretty open-minded person but, boy, this post was a bit of an education. The title pretty much says it all and apparently, it’s a follow-on from the ‘most disturbing toys’ articles the author, Ian Fortey, wrote in 2008 and 2009.

The writing in this blog post is very funny and extremely witty – ensure you don’t have food or liquid in your mouth when reading because you will choke and/or spit them across the room – but a note of caution: if you’re easily offended or freaked out, steer clear. The article doesn’t feature any overt nudity or sex acts and there are a bunch of images that have been pixelated out in full to preserve your sanity but it’s still something of a trip. Favourite quote: ‘Finally, the sexual thrill of being a supermarket pork chop can be yours’. NSFW (Not Suitable for Work). Continue reading →

20

‘I’d like more … ‘ survey results

Back in July, we ran a poll asking what you’d like to see more of on Behind the Chintz Curtain. Interestingly, the results were very close, with an identical number of you voting for the two most popular options:

More Garden of Earthly Delights posts – 33.33%

An equal mix of all three – 33.33%

More book reviews – 22.22%

More Toy Box reviews – 11.11%

So, given your feedback it seems the current balance of posts is about right for now – albeit there’s a bit of a bias towards book and Garden [*no longer available on the blog] entries. We’ll try and include a few more of these going forwards but we may also start introducing some new topics during August, too.

There’s more Garden on the way this week (unfortunately, I’m a bit behind on writing this as the 40 degree heat in Italy played havoc with my ability to do much beyond recline on a sun lounger like lady muck) and you’ll be pleased to know that Nick and Grace have actually made it to the dinner table …

Finally, I have something I’d like your help with. I’m curious to know how many of us actually have ‘toy boxes’. Have we finally moved past hiding things in our knicker drawers and, if so, what are we now keeping our playthings in? This may seem like a bit of a random question but I’m currently researching sex toy storage options and I’ll be publishing the results of my findings here on Chintz for you. (Don’t worry – the poll is completely anonymous, so if you click on one of the voting buttons we’re not going to know that it’s you who’s hiding your vibrator in the freezer or linen cupboard!)

 

 

17

Slave – Sherri Hayes

Title: Slave (Finding Anna)
Author: Sherri Hayes
Publisher: The Writer’s Coffee Shop Publishing House (27 July 2011)
ISBN: 978-1-61213-049-1

I’m beginning to realise that I have a bit of thing for the darker stuff. All of the books I’ve really enjoyed recently have had distinct edges to them; they’ve been the tales that don’t quite sit comfortably and stay with me for hours and days afterwards as I turn the actions of the characters over and over in my head.

Slave definitely falls into the murky category; as the title suggests, it’s not a hearts and flowers read. Rather, it’s a wrenching tale about a girl, Brianna Reeves, who has been forced against her will into a form of modern sexual slavery. A hollow shell, ravaged and scoured – both physically and mentally – by the man she belongs to, Ian Pierce, she is mentally and emotionally buried beneath the weight of the experiences she’s endured at his hands. Enter Stephan, a sexual Dominant who finds that he cannot leave Brianna in the situation he finds her. For although on the surface he inhabits the same world as Ian, his approach, outlook and philosophy on dominance and submission is light-years apart.  The question is, will his sense of caring and compassion be enough to pull Briana out of the deep mental abyss she has fallen into? And if it is, will she be able to accept that the man who helps her is part of a lifestyle that has, thus far, only shown her abuse? Continue reading →

16

Just Tease Me

What we used:  Tease Me Soft Satin Blackout Blindfold
From: Lovehoney
Price: £14.99
Material(s): Satin

Lizzie and Thomas have the opportunity to try out Lovehoney’s innovative satin Tease Me blindfold. Will they encounter the slippage issues they experienced during their last blindfold roadtest?

Lizzie
A few weeks ago, we reviewed Coco de Mer’s ‘Freedom is deciding whose slave you want to be’ blindfold as part of the Christian Grey’s Playthings toy series. If you read our post, you’ll know that we loved the look and feel of this pretty and luxurious bit of kit but had some issues with it slipping off at inopportune moments.

Enter the very lovely Alice from Lovehoney who, after reading our review, kindly sent us Lovehoney’s very own Tease Me blindfold to try out. This innovative product has an ingenious flexible wire embedded inside the satin, so the wearer gets a much better fit across their nose and cheeks and, consequently, there’s less chance of it parting company with the face during use.

First impressions …

Lizzie
The Tease Me blindfold arrives in a slim white cardboard package featuring the Lovehoney’s branding in purple white and black and encased in a clear plastic sleeve. Very simple and understated (I wouldn’t have been offended if Thomas had bought this for me as a gift).

The blindfold itself is pretty; the outward-facing side is rich purple and the inward-facing panel a lovely glossy black. The section that’s designed to sit over the nose and eyes is delineated by a half-moon of leather-like piping and inside the curved section of this is a thin, flexible wire (which you can easily feel and manipulate with your fingers).

Thomas
This is a very nice blindfold. It looks high quality, the stitching is good and it feels soft to the touch. The packaging is nicely discrete as well. Continue reading →

15

Uncle Charles’ Girls – Anne Randolph

Title: Uncle Charles’ Girls (A Novel of Victorian Discipline)
Author: Anne Randolph (foreword by Alice Liddell)
Publisher: Blushing Books (30 June 2012)
ISBN: 9781609686963

If you have a bit of a thing for spanking and punishment, Uncle Charles’ Girls should be at the very top of your ‘to read’ list. Although penned approximately ten years ago, this little novella was only available via a private membership site until it was published as an eBook in June of this year and I can only thank Alice Liddell, who wrote the foreword, for encouraging Randolph to make this story more widely available.

To say that Uncle Charles’ Girls got me hot and bothered would be something of an understatement. It literally had me squirming in my seat – and I mean that in a good way. Such was its impact (sorry, couldn’t resist) that I had to lock myself in the bedroom during and after reading it. Windows were steamed. Sheets were wrinkled.

Set in Victorian England, the story focuses on eighteen-year-old Lady Clara Smithson and nineteen-year-old Lady Louise Wellington. Although not related by blood, an unfortunate series of events throws the girls quite unexpectedly into the guardianship of Louise’s half-brother, Charles – otherwise known as Baron Cladwell. Louise has little knowledge of her half-brother, having had no real contact with him during the course of her life, and both she and Clara are extremely curious about the man who is to oversee the remainder of their education and their introduction to society. Never in their wildest dreams (or nightmares), however, do they imagine that the Baron has a decided predilection for birching and that he intends to discipline their bare, youthful bottoms whenever the opportunity presents itself. Continue reading →

14

Back to our regularly scheduled programme

You’ll be pleased to know that Chintz is back to normal from today; we’ve had a short short posting break as I’ve (Jane) been on holiday in Italy for the past week or so.

Although I did quite a bit of lazing about, I managed to get a fair amount of holiday reading in amidst all the olive and wine consumption and had the joy of discovering three stand-out erotica books: Slave and Need (both from Sherri Hayes’s Finding Anna series) and Uncle Charles’ Girls by Anne Randolph – all of which I’ll be writing reviews for over the next few days. There are some new toy reviews on the way, too, and The Garden of Earthly Delights [*no longer available on the blog] is also due some further instalments. (Unfortunately, the latter suffered a bit in the forty degree Umbrian heat and I didn’t get as many new episodes written as I planned!)

Finally, a word on the image heading up this post (if you follow the Chintz Facebook page you may have spotted this picture already) … As I wandered though the picturesque hilltop town of Urbino (birthplace of the famous Renaissance painter Raphael, home of Piero della Francesca’s iconic ‘Flagellation of Christ’ and site of Federico da Montefeltro’s breathtaking Ducal Palace) what did I see for sale?

Cinquanta sfumature di Grigio.

I wonder if it’s better in Italian?

02

Breaking Free – Cherise Sinclair

Title: Breaking Free (Masters of the Shadowlands)
Author: Cherise Sinclair
Publisher: Loose Id LLC (30 Mar 2010)
ISBN: 978-1-59632-965-2

How’s this for an opening line:

‘Music, beer, tie up a willing woman, maybe use a flogger lightly … should be a no-stress evening.’

Breaking Free was the first book that I read of Cherise Sinclair’s and it made me an absolutely devoted fan of her Masters of the Shadowlands series. It’s well written, has excellent characterisation, a wonderful sense of tension and is hot with a capital ‘H’. (Did I mention it’s hot?)

Where to start? Well, I’m actually going to kick off with the message that Cherise Sinclair includes at the beginning of the book (and indeed all her others that involve BDSM):

‘This book is fiction, not reality … Good Doms don’t grow on trees and there’s some strange people out there. So while you’re looking for that special Dom, please, be careful.
.
.
.
When you find him, realize he can’t read your mind.’
You will have a safeword, am I clear? Use protection. Have a back-up person. Communicate.
Remember: safe, sane and consensual.’

For this alone, I applaud Ms Sinclair. Before the book has even begun, she’s taken a socially responsible approach to the reader and made it clear that, while Breaking Free is a contemporary erotic romance, it is fiction and you shouldn’t be running out to your nearest fetish club and asking the first person you encounter to tie you up and take a cane to your behind. This may sound like a no-brainer but a lot of people use books as inspiration – just look at the rise in sex toy sales since Fifty Shades of Grey hit the mainstream – and Cherise’s message is an important one. That’s not to say that other books don’t include disclaimers (many do) but the personal approach to the reader from the author, I think, is commendable. Continue reading →