10

A sustainable spanking paddle for rosy cheeks

What we used: Rubberwood Spanking Paddle
From: Coco de Mer
Price: £20.50
Material(s): Rubberwood

First thoughts …

Lizzie
I am likely to be a little biased in my review of this Rubberwood Paddle because, straight up, spanking is one of my favourite bedroom activities – receiving rather than giving. With the right partner, the right mood and the right delivery, nothing beats it – no pun intended – although, as those of you who have read my previous reviews will be aware, I am a bit of a masochist, so please keep that in mind when digesting that statement!

Thomas and I tend to purchase most of our toy box items online, but this particular paddle was the result of a browsing session in Coco de Mer and something that I picked out for Thomas to use on me rather than the other way around. To that end, I had the opportunity to handle it and experiment with it before purchasing, so was pretty sure I was going to enjoy its various charms. Continue reading →

07

Alert Me: No-Sign-of-Sadomasochism – The Boardgame!, Ann Summers on TV, and printing 3D sex toys

In this week’s Alert Me: Fifty Shades consumer products go not-so-wild, Ann Summers hits our screens, and sex toys from printers.

 

Fifty Shades of a bawdy board game
Source: Evening Standard

I actually have no words. A Fifty Shades of Grey boardgame with ‘Inner Goddess Tokens’ a ‘Red Room Expansion Pack’ and a non-disclosure agreement between the players and Christian Grey (otherwise know as the ‘Receiving Party’).

As someone who spent nearly a decade protecting the integrity of a rather high-profile brand that shall remain nameless, this kind of cash-in merchandising actually makes me feel slightly ill. Worse, if Susannah Butter’s article is anything to go by, those who fork over their hard-earned cash for this thing aren’t even going to be rewarded with anything particularly titillating or racy. Sample question:

 

“Which girlfriend would buy the best present for the man who had everything?”

 

No joke, I can’t decide whether to laugh or cry. Really E.L. James? Really? Stick with Monopoly, people. I guarantee fighting over who gets to be the boot will be more fun. Continue reading →

06

FrankenDom – Robin L. Rotham

Title: FrankenDom
Author: Robin L. Rotham
Publisher: Robin L. Rotham (27 October 2012)
ISBN: 9781301029679

Mary Shelley meets Grey’s Anatomy meets Torture Garden.

‘Let’s experiment’ is the tagline for FrankenDom and flippin’ heck does it ever. Reading this book was the literary equivalent of walking into Heston Blumenthal’s Michelin-starred The Fat Duck, ordering the snail porridge and, after a tentative taste, scraping the bowl clean with enough enthusiasm to chip the porcelain.

FrankenDom is by far and away one of the most original and engaging BDSM books I’ve read this year; the plot is awesomely wacky, the characters original, and the D/s relationships in play both unusual and captivating. A medical drama on crack and filmed in a Rocky Horror Show-esque dungeon, if you will. (Or more, accurately, castle Bangenschloss in Montavena.) Continue reading →

05

Five-minute erotica: All girls love ponies

Image: Karlyne (Own work)

All Girls Love Ponies is my second five-minute erotica offering and involves a sadistic dressage instructor giving some rather unorthodox instructions to his female pupil. If the idea of a whip applied to a soft backside makes you hot, then this story might be for you …

Missed the first five-minute erotica, Frostbite? You can find it here.

IMPORTANT: Please note that All Girls Love Ponies is a work of fiction and contains explicit sexual content and BDSM elements, including impact play. If such material offends you or you are under the age of 18, please don’t read any further. Continue reading →

03

Santa Baby: the slightly kinky version

Image: Kris de Curtis 

There are quite a few things I’d like for Christmas. I think it’s fair to say, though, that some of them won’t make it under the family tree. No, they’ll be opened in private with my own personal Santa Claus. Ho, ho, ho.

I’ve yet to write out my wish list but, in the mean time, I thought I’d have a little fun with the 1953 classic song Santa Baby, the original version of which was famously sung by Eartha Kitt, to get me in the mood …

 

Santa Baby, slip a paddle under the tree, For me.
been an awful bad girl, Santa baby,
so hurry down the chimney tonight.

 

Santa baby, a multi-speed vibrator too,
Light blue*.
I’ll wait up for you dear,
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

  Continue reading →

30

Reclaimed Surrender – Riley Murphy

Title: Reclaimed Surrender
Author: Riley Murphy
Publisher: Ellora’s Cave (08 February 2012)
ASIN: B0077ROL0O

A marriage on the rocks. A wife who longs to be taken in hand. A husband who wants nothing more than to recover the control he’s relinquished. Reclaimed Surrender is a fabulous exploration of what happens when the equilibrium is upset in a D/s relationship; of the havoc that ensues when a Dom, with the best of intentions, cedes to his sub.

Rene and Alexis Tanner are having major problems. Something has happened (I won’t spoil the book for you by saying what) that’s severely affected the level of trust between them – and it’s absolutely killing their relationship. To the point that they’re unable to relate to one another, to exchange power, in the way they both desperately need to. Continue reading →

29

An orgasm for charity with Desire and Pleasure

If you’re a regular Chintz visitor, you may have noticed the bright pink banner that appeared on the site earlier this week. It’s very rare that I place persistent ads on Chintz – if I do, it’s usually within reviews to help you locate a product – but I’ve broken my normal rule and included this one. Why? Because the sex toy store it links to, Desire and Pleasure, is very special and very unique. It’s actually run by the U.K.’s Family Planning Association (FPA), and all profits from the sex toys you purchase from them go towards their charitable work promoting sexual health.

With the highest teenage birth and abortion rates in Western Europe and year-on-year rises in the number of people affected by STIs (482,696 new cases in 2009, 3% more than the year before) sex education and sexual health services in the U.K. have never been more important. The FPA is very much on the front line and not only does an amazing job of both supporting and advising people of all ages on their sexual health as individuals, but also actively campaigns for abortion rights, the protection of sexual health services, contraceptive and alcohol awareness, and those with learning disabilities. Continue reading →

28

Alert Me: poultry bondage, Spotify for eBooks, and horny Canadians

In this week’s Alert Me: BDSM with chicken (no, I’m not making that up), a new eBook subscription service, and a sudden surge in Canadian sex toy sales.

 

Fifty Shades of Chicken
Source: http://www.fiftyshadesofchicken.com/

 

‘Pro-tip: Spatchcocked or trussed? Depends on how sarcastic your chicken has been.’

 

Thanks to author Andrew Shaffer (@andrewtshaffer), I am now following erotic poultry on Twitter (@50ShadesChicken) and considering buying a BDSM chicken cookbook. Clearly, I’m plucked. Continue reading →