As you may have deduced from the title, this entry focuses on a type of fictional hero I have a particular soft spot for: one who can build a tent out of a handkerchief, catch a fish with a shoelace, and ride a horse upside down. Oh, and burn the sheets up (of course). These choices aren’t erotic so much as romantic, but I’m an absolute sucker for a good love story and make no apology for it.

Only His – Elizabeth Lowell

Warning! This is total romantic schmaltz and has all the stereotypical cheese one would expect from this type of book:

Angry Alpha hero? Check.

Naïve virginal heroine? Present.

Improbable plot? Oh, ho ho, yes.

In fact, this scathing Publisher’s Weekly review from 1991 sums it up pretty well:

‘In this tedious historical romance, Lowell (Tell Me No Lies) gives barely enough plot to keep a short story moving. Willow Moran, a West Virginian who lost her parents and most of her possessions during the Civil War, is traveling west with her remaining valuables—five Arabian horses—to find her brother Matt, who is prospecting for gold. Her guide from Denver to the San Juan mountains is former Army scout Caleb Black who, unbeknownst to Willow, also is hunting Matt; on her deathbed, after bearing an illegitimate baby, Caleb’s sister named Matt as her seducer. The largely uneventful journey, complicated only by ruffians who are pursuing them (to steal Willow’s horses and finish a fight begun in Denver with Caleb), occupies a substantial portion of the book: Willow and Caleb spend much of their time riding, eating and lusting after each other. By the time the hero, ”with a silent curse at his unruly desires,” indulges in yet another assessment of the heroine, wondering ”how her hair would feel spilling over his naked skin, ” the reader is likely to be silently cursing right along with him—and brother Matt isn’t even close to being on the horizon.’

 – Copyright 1991 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

So why on earth did I like it so much? Because it is epically enjoyable in all its sugary, schmaltzy ridiculousness, of course! Not only is Caleb’s hardness wonderfully hot – his character, not his penis, you dirty-minded individuals (although that particular bit of wood does make a, er, firm appearance) – but the landscape in which all this carry-on takes place is beautifully rendered by the author. The sex is very, very tame (and it does take Caleb and Willow absolutely ages to get it on with one another) but despite its relative chasteness and unrealistically perfect execution, it’s surprisingly enjoyable when it does eventually make an appearance.

In summary: 1990s-style Alpha hero who can ride a horse, deflower virgins with aplomb, and shoot a six-gun like no one’s business.

Also available from Amazon.com and Kobo.

Comanche Moon ­– Catherine Anderson

I adore this book and have re-read it more times than I can remember. If you haven’t encountered it yet, go buy it right now. Now, I tell you! Again, it’s a romance rather than an erotica, but it is beautiful and tumultuous and absolutely epic. It’s entirely possible that Comanche Moon spoke to me so strongly because there’s a strong capture fantasy thread running through it (if you’ve read the previous two My Life in Books  posts you’ll know that that’s one of my favourite plot devices) but, having said that, I think the quality of the writing and Catherine Anderson’s overall execution of the storyline are what really sold it to me.

Hunter is the most delicious of heroes. He is angry. He is intelligent. He is stubborn. He has the capacity for both brutality and ruthlessness. But mixed in with all of that is an unfailing sense of morality – and it’s that sense of right and wrong that transforms him from an average hero into one who’s spectacular.

He said “woman” as if he were spitting bile and slid his lance arrow to her chin. She had heard of women being disfigured by Indians and expected him to slash her as he outlined her mouth and the slope of her nose. Breathless fear brought moisture to her brow. Black spots danced, blurring her vision.

She blinked and forced herself to focus on him. Laughter twinkled in his eyes. She realized that since he had decided not to kill her, he was, for some reason she couldn’t imagine, playing a hideous game, terrifying her to test her mettle. She caught hold of his lance and shoved it aside, lifting her head in defiance. Chuckling low in his chest, he leaned over his thigh, making a fist in her hair. His grip brought tears to her eyes.

As he turned her face to study her, he said, “You have more courage than you have strength, Yellow Hair. It is not wise to fight when you cannot win.”

Looking up at his carved features and the arrogant set of his mouth, she longed for the strength to jerk him off his horse. He wasn’t just taunting her, he was challenging her, mocking her.

“You will yield. Look at me and know the face of your master. Remember it well.”

In summary: glorious, intelligent capture fantasy-style romance with a sublime Comanche hero at the helm.

Also available from Amazon.com and Kobo.

Defiant ­– Pamela Clare

If you loved reading James Fenimore Cooper’s The Last of the Mohicans or fell for Michael Mann’s film version of the story (in case you need your memory jogged, I’ve included the – incredibly dated – 1992 film trailer below) then Pamela Clare’s MacKinnon’s Rangers series, of which Defiant is the final instalment, will likely result in a heady book crack fix. I actually discovered Ms Clare through her I-Team series and enjoyed the entries in that so much that I was persuaded to try out her historical offerings. (Hands up, I’d initially been put off them by the rather in-your-face shirtless fake-tan-man covers, which, stylistically, aren’t my bag, but the gamble well and truly paid off.)

The MacKinnon’s Rangers series follows the fates of three brothers in forced service to the British Crown, specifically, at the hands of one Lord William Wentworth, and Defiant  is the last instalment in the trilogy. Now, while this book can, in my opinion, be read as a stand-alone, I suspect readers will enjoy it far more if they demolish books one and two, Surrender and Untamed, first so that they get all the backstory and can fully appreciate the depth of the conflict between Connor (the hero) and Wentworth.

Defiant  is absolutely not a pick-it-up-and-put-it-down book. If you get this thing in your hands, just make sure you have a few clear hours ahead of you because I guarantee that once you start you will be glued until the very last page. The road for rough Scottish diamond Connor and the refined Lady Sarah Woodville, his love interest, is a difficult one but made all the more compelling by Clare’s exceptional attention to historical detail. It’s romance, but it’s romance with an edge to it – the frontier environment, together with the war that’s going on as Connor and Sarah fight to be together absolutely prevent Defiant from becoming predictable and boringly fluffy.

In summary: The Last of the Mohicans run through with a romance claymore.

Oh, and here’s that trailer I promised you:

Also available from Amazon.com.

Missed the first two My Life in Books posts? You can find Part One here and Part Two here.

The post My Life in Books (Part Three): Wild Men appeared first on Behind the Chintz Curtain.

Title:

Two words: still recovering. Bind and Keep Me is non-con BDSM erotica at its absolute best. If you like your tales dark, you’re not going to want to miss this one.

*You can click on any of the stick figure drawings below to make them bigger. Which many of you will likely need to do if your eyesight is as bad as mine and you can’t read the writing!

JANE’S TAKE

This book should come with a health warning:

Caution! Jaw may drop to floor and disconnect from face. The author assumes no responsibility for readers who spontaneously combust with arousal and/or spend days wondering whether their moral compass needs resetting as a result of reading (and enjoying) this book.

Leave your sanity at the door because there is absolutely no way that Bind and Keep Me can be put into either the Safe, Sane and Consensual (SSC) or Risk Aware Consensual Kink (RACK) buckets. There is unsafe play in spades. There is insane play by the truckload. There is non-consent to the power of a hundred overlaid with the veneer of incredibly dubious consent. There is risk with a capital ‘R’. And there is kink. Oh, man is there kink.

But the scary thing is that it works. Almost too well. So well that you come out the other end of this book and think ‘I’m one twisted individual for enjoying that. And wanting more.’

A sadist who’s completely off the chain? Check.

Thoroughly illegal activity (murder-slash-manslaughter and abduction)? Check.

A ‘victim’ who has absolutely no say, no outs, no choice in what is done to her? Check, check, check.

Why is it that this book is so deliciously frightening? Because it feels so believable. You could actually imagine the scenario it describes happening. Cari Silverwood has taken everyday characters and situations and completely run them through the twisted kinky wringer to create something that is, pardon my language, a thoroughly arousing mind f*ck. (Let me assure you, you will never look at accountant in quite the same way.)

I was expecting a continuation of Klaus and Jodie’s story, which began in Take Me, Break Me. What I got was a tale that took me on a totally unexpected right-angle and went far deeper and darker than it’s predecessor. And as I read, I could not get out of my mind the following passage from that first book, the one in which Klaus truly begins to understand just how far his sadistic desires go:

‘My new epiphany turned creepy cold. Sharing hadn’t been last on the list, killing her and burying her on the beach had been it. Christ. Thank God, I wasn’t that man, but it made me wonder who I had become. I doubted I could change back.’

So just how far will his desires push him to take things in Bind and Keep Me?

To the limit, people. To the limit.

And what can I say about the ending? I’d have thought that Klaus would be a pretty hard act to follow but reading the Bind and Keep Me epilogue, it seems Ms Silverwood is going to crank things up even further with the next Pierced Hearts entry; Chris frightens the cr*p out of me – but oh, hell, do I want to read about him …

MICHAEL’S TAKE

I’ve decided to keep this review as spoiler-free as possible.

So after Jane and I read Take Me, Break Me a few months ago I learned that there was a second book in the Pierced Hearts series. At first I was confused but then I remembered that there were several possible supporting characters who could be featured in the next story.

So when Jane sent me the Bind and Keep Me review copy, I just picked it up and started reading. And found that it featured Jodie and Klaus. I was surprised, obviously, but decided to just go with it and see where we ended up.

And then … Boom! I didn’t see that coming.

What Cari had to do was tricky. Add a third character to the mix. Create someone who was likeable enough that we did care what happened to her. And yet at the same time make her unlikable enough that we didn’t get too upset at what she went through. I think she pretty much succeeded.

I am still trying to process the ending. Did I see it coming? I definitely saw it as a possibility earlier but had kind of eliminated that from the list by the time it happened. How do I feel about it? Honestly, I am still kind of unsure.

I gave Klaus a lot of leeway and the benefit of the doubt the first time around. Truth? He scares me more than a bit now. I am not sure where he is going to draw the line anymore.

Is there room for a third book? Actually, there is. I am not going to make any assumptions next time around, though.

*Please note that advance copies of Bind and Keep Me were supplied free of charge by the author in exchange for a fair review.

Tickle your fancy? Click on the following links to purchase a copy.

Amazon.co.uk

• Bind and Keep Me – Kindle

Amazon.com

• Bind and Keep Me – Kindle

The post Bind and Keep Me – Cari Silverwood appeared first on Behind the Chintz Curtain.

EBOOKS

*The following books were listed as free at the time of this post’s publication. Please double-check that that’s still the case before you hit the download button.

Beg – C.D. Reiss

• Amazon.co.uk – Kindle
• Amazon.com – Kindle

‘If you loved Fifty Shades of Grey or Sylvia Day’s Crossfire series, you’ll love BEG – book one in Songs of Submission…’

In all honesty, that strapline puts me off wanting to download this one (anti-marketing!), but the ratings appear to be pretty solid (most are between three and five stars). I rather like the cover, too.

My name is Monica. I’m a singer born and raised in Los Angeles.

I’ve stopped dating. When I cut a record, or win a Grammy, maybe then I’ll be with someone, but every man in my past has done everything he could to make me submit myself to him, and it’s gotten in the way of my career. I won’t do it again.

But there’s Jonathan. He owns the high-rise hotel where I work, and he is gorgeous and charming. I refuse to fall in love with him, even though when he asks me to submit to him, I want nothing more.

Tempt Me – Isabel Morin

• Amazon.co.uk – Kindle
• Amazon.com – Kindle

A novella that’s likely to push your buttons if you’re after something quick and sexy. Nothing too controversial or challenging. Just good old erotic romance.

Nina Valentine is done with New York. After spending the last year struggling to make it as a painter, all she has to show for it are bills she can’t pay. Out of money and sick of struggling, she decides it’s time to pack it up and head back to her hometown in New Hampshire.

When she meets Ian Sinclair at her going away party, Nina’s instantly attracted to his dark, smoldering looks and lean athletic body. When he asks her back to his apartment, she’s willing to overlook the fact that he’s a high-powered lawyer. It’s just for one night, and guys as gorgeous as Ian don’t come around every day.

Ian has never had a problem getting women into his bed, but after his hot night with Nina, all he wants is more of her. So he makes the curvy painter a deal – stay in the city for a few weeks and he’ll take care of everything.

Nina agrees, even though she knows better than to get attached. He’s a rich corporate suit, she’s a struggling artist. But as the connection between them deepens and Ian takes her to places she’s never been – both in and out of the bedroom – Nina doesn’t know how much longer she can resist.

Deadly Offerings – Alexa Grace

• Amazon.co.uk – Kindle
• Amazon.com – Kindle

Romantic suspense, which is a category I quite enjoy if the story is cleverly executed. This one does sound quite promising – reading the various reviews it seems that it has a quite a broad appeal.

Deadly Offerings is an ebook with a blend of pulsing passion and razor-sharp suspense. It is the first adventure in this sizzling romantic suspense trilogy.

Anne Mason thinks she’ll be safe living in the Midwest building a wind farm. She may be dead wrong. Someone is dumping bodies in her corn field and telling Anne they are gifts—for her!

As the body count rises, Anne realizes a cold-blooded serial killer is patiently waiting and watching her every move. And he won’t stop until he ends her life. It is clear there are no limits to this killer’s thirst for revenge or how far he will go to get it.

After a nasty divorce, Anne Mason does not want to get romantically involved, especially with ex-husband’s attorney, Michael Brandt.

The ruggedly handsome new County Prosecutor is the last person Anne can trust, but may offer her only chance at survival from a psychopathic killer. But will she survive the passion that rages between them?

TOYS

Lovehoney 
Yet another sale from the U.K. sex toy powerhouse with various price categories: £3.00, £5.00, £10.00 and £20.00. (There are some good silicone dildo/vibrator options in the latter band.)

Myla
Have taken up to 70% off selected underwear/lingerie. There are some gorgeous peek-a-boo bras in this line-up, so if you’re after sexy underthings at a serious discount, this is a sale you should definitely investigate.

The post Freebies and Discounts: Begging, peek-a-boo bras, and sub-£20.00 silicone appeared first on Behind the Chintz Curtain.

MICHAEL’S TAKE

I guess it was sort of inevitable if we did this long enough.

A lot of people are comparing this to Captive in the Dark. I can see why. And I can certainly make the case for comparing them. A young woman is kidnapped. Mexico. International human trafficking. An anti-hero with a troubled past. But there comes a point when this has to sink or swim on its own merits. That is where Jane and I disagree.

Probably the biggest difference is Marco. He is a little hard to describe. He’s a monster, right? The evil human trafficker who forces his captives to do his bidding to further his criminal empire. Simple. Only at least some of his slaves delight in serving him, happy that he rescued them from a life of poverty and despair. In fact, at least one is desperately in love with him. And he could have killed our young heroine right at the beginning instead of taking her into his home. And he certainly could have taken her anal virginity … because … well, the reason he didn’t I didn’t quite get. In fact, I found that entire subplot a little odd.

Douglas. Colin Douglas. That doesn’t actually appear in the novel and Colin never got assigned a designation starting with a couple of zeros but the whole MI-6 thing was an interesting choice. But it was such a minor issue that aside from adding some unintended humour it didn’t make much difference.

Angela’s character was obviously inspired by Natalee Holloway. In fact, when Jane suggested this book, I deliberately just started reading without knowing anything about it. So I had no idea what was about to happen although perhaps I should have seen it.

Ultimately it came down to whether I liked Angela and Colin. And I did. They weren’t Livvie and Caleb but they had their own strengths and weaknesses. I was really hoping things would work out for them. And they did – although not without a few twists right up the very end.

I’m sorry this didn’t measure up for Jane but there is always next time.

JANE’S TAKE

I live in the U.K. Granted, I wasn’t born here but I’ve spent the last decade of my life residing and working in Britain and, over time, have become reasonably familiar with all the dialects therein. Although I will never get the hang of Cockney rhyming slang (the first time someone asked me if I ‘fancied a butchers’ I had all sorts of bizarre images going through my head – we were going to some sort of butcher appreciation event? Some sort of sausage festival? Seemed a rather unlikely turn of events given the nature of the conference call we were having …). My point is that I have a semi-reasonable handle on regional accents these days.

I’ve worked with a few Scotsmen. One of my neighbours is from Edinburgh. And I can tell you right now that NONE of them sound remotely like Colin, the Scottish dude in this story. If ‘C’, said neighbour, started talking to me the way Colin does at certain points in Escape from Paradise, I’d probably think she’d been drinking a lot of Glenfiddich. In short, I could count on one hand the times I’ve heard ‘och’, ‘lass’, ‘lassie’, and ‘ken’ come up in conversation with Scottish people my age.

Reading the blurb for Escape from Paradise, I was excited – in fact, this was my reading choice rather than Michael’s. I like dark erotica, non-con in particular, and I thought this was going to be in the vein of C.J. Roberts’ Captive in the Dark, which I adored. Unfortunately, I fell rather heavily from the wagon within the first quarter of the book and just couldn’t get back on it again.

It wasn’t just the dialogue that flipped the off switch for me, but the rather erratic characterisation of both Colin and Marco, neither of which felt believable. The first does a dramatic personality one-eighty in the space of a few paragraphs, albeit due to a major life event (narcissistic party boy to avenging angel) and the latter is, well, just off somehow. (I was incredibly surprised that he didn’t kill Angela at the very beginning. I realise that would have stopped the story dead but, ultimately, that reaction from him to the circumstances would have been far more true to type.) Oh, and the way the police show up and deal with the crime involving Colin’s younger brother at the very beginning of this story? Er. No. It just wouldn’t happen that way here.

“I’m sorry to tell you this,” one of them said softly. “But we must work quickly. Your parents have been murdered and your brother’s gone missing. We’re taking you into custody for your own protection.”

Maybe this book works better for non-U.K. readers? Looking at this review I can see a lot of my gripes are to do with context and setting. For a comparison, it would be like me trying to write in a caricature American accent.

‘Howdy, Michael. Are you swell today? Because, dude, I totally I am. I am a total hot mess. My checking account is full of cooties and there’s a stick shift stuck in my drywall.’

Eh, something went wrong for me, that’s for sure. I wanted another Caleb, another Livvie – and I didn’t get either. Although looking at all the positive reviews Escape from Paradise is getting, it would seem I’m in the disliking minority.

Tickle your fancy? Click on the following links to purchase a copy:

Amazon.co.uk

• Escape from Paradise – Kindle
• Escape from Paradise – Paperback

Amazon.com

• Escape from Paradise – Kindle
• Escape from Paradise – Paperback

The post Escape from Paradise – Gwendolyn Field appeared first on Behind the Chintz Curtain.

Title:

Oh, ho-ho. Michael knocked it out of the park with this joint read-and-review choice. Spanking, D/s, violet wands, vegetable safewords. Funny, hot and totally sexy.

MICHAEL’S TAKE

So Kaylee has been saving up for the moment of her life: a trip to The Castle, the hottest BDSM resort in Central Ohio. She gets to spend three whole days living out her fantasies.

She just has one teeny tiny little problem. She’s no clear idea of what her fantasies will be like in real life. She has never played, never been to a club, never done anything. And she is sure of one thing: if she tells The Truth, admits to her inexperience, she’ll be spending her entire stay in the kiddie pool wearing water wings.

So she lies. Not a big lie. She just wants them to think she has some experience. What could go wrong? It isn’t like they are going to drag her down to an underground dungeon and send in a Hulking Brute in an Executioner’s Mask with a Bullwhip, is it? Okay, so maybe it was a big lie.

What I loved most about this one was how patient the staff were with her. A fantasy doesn’t work out? Sure. No Problem. As soon as she’s dried her tears, they send her back to costuming and try again. (They had so many things to choose from in that department, I don’t think for a moment we saw everything it had to offer.) Not unlike Goldilocks, Kaylee just has to try and try again until she finds the kink that’s just right.

I think the most negative thing I can say about Kaylee’s Keeper is that it’s a little sad that The Castle isn’t actually real.

JANE’S TAKE

Attractive Random Person Dressed in Skydiving Gear: “Jane! Can you skydive?”
Jane: [Hell no, but you look kind of hot so I’ll give it a crack]: “Yes, of course I can! In fact, I used to be an instructor.”
Attractive Random Person Dressed in Skydiving Gear: “Awesome. Grab a parachute and get your arse in that plane over there.”
Jane: [How hard can it be?] “You’ve got it.”

6,000 feet later …

Attractive Random Person Dressed in Skydiving Gear: “Are you okay, Jane? You look kind of green …”
Jane: [Fucking hell this is high!!!] “Oh, fine, fine. I think I had a bad prawn at lunch.”

12,500 feet later …

Attractive Random Person Dressed in Skydiving Gear: “You ready to jump?”
Jane: [FUCK!!!] Totally … absolutely … er … definitely. My, that weather doesn’t look at all good, does it? Maybe we should turn back?”
Attractive Random Person Dressed in Skydiving Gear: “It’s 30 degrees and sunny with no wind.
Jane: [FUCK x 10!] “See! Terrible conditions!”
Attractive Random Person Dressed in Skydiving Gear: “Er, Jane? Are you sure you’ve done this before?
Jane: [Oh, my God. Does Attractive Random Person Dressed in Skydiving Gear suspect something? That I’m not, perhaps, the skydiving goddess he imagines? Act defensive! Put him off the scent!] “How dare you! What exactly are you suggesting?”
Attractive Random Person Dressed in Skydiving Gear: “That you may not know how to skydive?”
Jane: [He’s fishing! Play it cool; there’s no way he can know I’m not telling the truth …] “Now why on earth would you say that?”
Attractive Random Person Dressed in Skydiving Gear: “Well, for starters, you’re strapping yourself to the emergency first aid kit rather than your parachute.”

Have you ever fudged the truth a little? Massaged your C.V. to get that perfect job? Not been entirely honest on that health questionnaire: “How many times a week do you take regular exercise/eat chocolate/drink more than two units of alcohol?” (Never, no, every day, only at Easter, and only at weddings. (Snort.)) Well, Kaylee’s Keeper is all about what happens when a sub pretends to have a little – okay, a lot – more BDSM experience than she actually does (none).

“Have you ever engaged in BDSM play before? Kaylee checked off her answer, yes, and kept going, swallowing back that same slight twinge of guilt that she’d felt back when she first typed that lie. She had never played. Up until now, all of her spankings had been received through fantasy and daydreams.”

I loved this book for a number of reasons. It did a wonderful job of showing that the fantasies in our heads don’t always play out as we imagine they will in real life. It did a wonderful job of showing how important open and honest communication is between partners. It did a wonderful job of showing that we don’t automatically know what will turn us on, that we often discover these things over time, through experience, with patience. Oh, and it absolutely showed why it is never ever a good idea to lie to a Top.

I don’t want to say too much more and ruin this delightful tale for you, but I will confess that the violet wand scene at the end of this story is awesome, as is the one that leads up to and includes Kaylee’s first use of The Castle’s universal safeword, onion. You’ll never look at an Allium cepa in quite the same way again.

Tickle your fancy? Click on the following links to purchase a copy:

Amazon.co.uk

• Kaylee’s Keeper (Masters of The Castle #2) – Kindle

Amazon.com

• Kaylee’s Keeper (Masters of The Castle #2) – Kindle

The post Kaylee’s Keeper (Masters of The Castle #2) – Maren Smith appeared first on Behind the Chintz Curtain.

It has been ages since I posted a Garden of Earthly Delights instalment. Ages. In fact, the last episode went up back in April :-/ The story has been continuing, though. Oh, yes. In fact, I am now roughly 15,000 words away from completing Nick and Grace’s story, which, when all’s said and done, will clock in at around 60,000. (I’ve inadvertently written a full-length erotic romance novel – how on earth did that happen?! Can’t quite believe it given that short stories have always been my thing …)

So, slight deviation from the original plan: this will be the last Garden of Earthly Delights episode posted on Behind the Chintz Curtain. It’s really become far too big and unwieldy to be read in blog form now (your eyes will likely fall out if you try to consume it from end-to-end, given its size) and I’ve made the decision to remove all but the first chapter from my site and self-publish the full version – properly edited – upon completion.

A big thank you to everyone who has read along to-date and/or encouraged me to keep going; I promise I’ll let you know when I finally hit the finish line!

Jane
xxx

THE GARDEN OF EARTHLY DELIGHTS – PART NINETEEN

When Grace arrived at the office just before eight the following Monday, Jack was already hard at work drawing – and clearly had been for some time.

‘Morning,’ she called as she made her way across the room to her desk, trying to ignore the aching soreness between her legs.  She’d been at Nick’s almost the entire weekend, the sex they’d had on the Friday night kicking off an explosive two days that had seen him fuck both her body and her mind in practically every position and in every room of his house.

On her back on the floor of his study, her arms bound above her head, his fingers pulling at her nipples until the discomfort collided with the blissful feeling of his cock tunnelling in and out of her pussy.

On her hands and knees in the living room, Nick holding her in place by her hair and massaging her clit until she came.

Standing with her back to the wall in his shower, while he alternately licked her pussy and bit at the soft skin of her inner thighs.

She’d had absolutely no say in the when or how – he’d simply told her where he wanted her and ordered her into position. On Saturday morning, when she’d dared to make noises about going home to fetch her toothbrush, he’d confiscated her car keys, ordered her onto her knees and told her the only way out of his house was with her safeword.

She hadn’t wanted to use it. Couldn’t bring herself to. And, after a small internal debate, during which she’d attempted to rationalise her need to give in to Nick  (and failed), she’d settled on the floor at his feet.

He’d proceeded to reprimand her for her dithering with that fucking glass dildo, bringing her to frustratingly close to climax three times before finally sinking himself into her and stroking her slowly to orgasm with his cock and his fingers. When she’d next gone to the bathroom to tidy herself up, though, she’d found a clean brush and toothpaste waiting for her next to the sink.

Surprisingly, the weekend hadn’t been all about sex. In between bouts, they’d stopped to talk, cook, and eat. Taken turns choosing films to watch on Nick’s enormous flatscreen. He’d made her sit through Blade Runner; she’d retaliated by selecting Gone with the Wind. Both the sex and the company had been … comforting. Although how that was possible given the power exchange dynamic between them, Grace wasn’t entirely sure.

Nick had finally given her back her keys – and her clothes – on Sunday evening. But not before he’d leaned her over his dining table between their dirty supper dishes, slid a lubricated finger into her anus and told her that the next time he saw her he was going to plug it. Grace couldn’t stop herself from clenching her buttocks at the thought; although Nick had penetrated her bottom with his fingers more than once over the two days they’d spent together – and she’d enjoyed the edgy discomfort of it – the thought of having something bigger than a digit embedded in her rectum scared her.

‘Well, from the look on your face you definitely had a good weekend.’

‘What?’ Grace, completely lost in her thoughts, looked up to find Jack standing next to her, the corner of his mouth quirked in amusement.

‘Your weekend. I take it you had a good one?’

‘Oh.’ Grace felt herself blushing, hideously aware that her neck and face were probably turning a bright, embarrassing pink. ‘Yes, it was fine, thanks.’

‘Fine?’

‘Yes, fine.’ She leaned down, pretended to fumble in her bag for her mobile. Where had her vocabulary gone? And why was she feeling so embarrassed? There was no way Jack could have guessed what she’d been up to over the past two days. And then a mortifying thought struck her: had he spoken to Nick? She jerked her head up, all pretence of rummaging forgotten. ‘You haven’t, er …?’ Yet even as she started to form the question she realised what an absurd one it was; the Nick she was coming to know would never do that to her – would never talk about her like that with Jack, even if they were best friends.

‘Haven’t …?’

Grace shook her head. ‘Never mind.’

Jack laughed. ‘I’m not even going to ask, Gracie.’ He clapped a large hand on her shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. ‘But can I just say you look about a hundred times happier than you did the other week.’

A hot little bloom exploded in her chest and she couldn’t stop the grin that spread over her face. ‘I feel a hundred times happier, too.’

‘Coffee?’

‘Yeah, a coffee would be great.’

…………….

‘Nick!’

Nick looked up from the plan he had spread out on the hood of his Defender to see Lexie, his site office manager, wearing a red hard hat and picking her way towards him across the building site. ‘There’s someone here to see you,’ she yelled, trying to make herself heard over the noise of a digger churning away in the background. ‘A Tristan Hursthouse?’ She drew to a stop just on the far side of a large footing hole and looked at him questioningly.

Nick felt his eyebrows rise in surprise. ‘Tell him I’ll be right there,’ he hollered as he let go of the plan edges, allowing the sheet to roll in on itself. ‘Just got to go and drop this groundworking revision off to Mike.’

Lexie waved in acknowledgement and began striding back in the direction she’d come, dust kicking up around her as she walked. It had been hellishly dry for the past week and the site was like a giant dirt bath.

Plan in hand, Nick made his way around to the open driver’s door of his car and hauled himself inside. Tristan’s visit was unexpected, to say the least. Given that their friendship was, for the most part, built around their respective interests in kink, social visits during working hours weren’t exactly the norm for them. Although, to be fair, they hadn’t exactly had much time to talk over the past few weeks; after the whole thing with Grace had kicked off, Tristan had jetted off to some legal conference in the States.

Fifteen minutes later, he pulled up in the site carpark to see his friend lounging against the side of an old Mercedes convertible. Wearing dark-framed reading glasses and dressed in a light charcoal suit, Tristan looked every inch the litigation lawyer he was.

He straightened as he saw Nick pull in and, as he started to climb out of the Defender, began walking towards him. ‘Nice ride,’ Nick said as he smiled and slammed the door. ‘New?’

Tristan looked back at his car. ‘Yeah, it’s an old 230. 1965. Just finished restoring it.’

Nick blinked in surprise. ‘You actually know your way around an engine?’

Tristan pressed a hand against his heart and grimaced. ‘I’m wounded, man. What, you think a sissy lawyer boy doesn’t know how to get his hands dirty?’

‘Just never picked you as a man who’d swing anything other than a flogger,’ Nick said as he came to a stop next him.

‘Arse.’ Tristan punched him lightly in the arm and then briefly grasped Nick’s hand in greeting. ‘How’re you, anyway?’

‘Good. Better than good, actually.’

Tristan regarded him thoughtfully. ‘So I take it Grace forgave you for our monumental balls-up, then?’

‘Fuck knows why but, yeah. Yeah, she did.’

‘Thank Christ for that.’ Tristan looked visibly relieved. ‘It’s been chewing at me ever since it happened.’ He shoved his hands in his pockets and toed the carpark scalpings with the tip of one well-shod foot. ‘I know you said Jack talked to her but …’

‘She’s fine, Tris. Better than fine, actually.’ Nick found it impossible to stop the smile spreading across his face. ‘We tried again. Caelan stepped in and we’re …’ He looked out over the construction site. Watched one of the construction workers direct a concrete truck over to a foundation trench as he searched for the right words. ‘… in really good place,’ he said eventually.

‘I’m glad, Nick. You’ve needed someone like Grace for a while now.’

Puzzled, Nick cocked his head. ‘What do you mean?’

‘Someone with the ability to give you back your confidence, you dumb bastard. Really give it back. Or did you actually think you were happy with me holding your hand and playing with all those club subs who you let top from the bottom?’

‘I don’t follow?’

Tristan looked at him shrewdly. ‘You haven’t been in the driver’s seat – really in the driver’s seat – since Tess got hurt. You’ve been dipping your toe in the water but you haven’t ever allowed yourself to plunge into it again.’

‘That’s not true.’

‘If it were any fucking truer it’d be gospel, Nick. Look, I know what it took for you to start playing again – and I know you’re terrified of hurting someone by accident. I get it. What happened between us and Grace that first night sure as hell didn’t do your confidence any favours, either.’ He shook his head in frustration. ‘I should never have let you talk me into helping you. You would have been far better off on your own and following your instincts.’

‘That was totally my fault and –’

Tristan held up his hand. ‘I should have just said ‘no’. I wanted to help you but, in hindsight, all I did was provide you with a broken crutch. Nick, I can tell just by looking at you that you care about this girl – could see it the moment you laid eyes on her the night we fucked up, too. Which means you’re not going to be able to say ‘no’ when she asks you for more. Her inexperience is going to force you to get past your anxieties. You’re going to have to take control in order to show her – and give her – what she needs.’ He smiled at the slightly shocked look on Nick’s face. ‘That’s what I meant when I said you needed someone like Grace. I think she’s good for you because I think she’s the one who’s going to make you move on.’

The sound of something mechanical whirring loudly in the background saved Nick from having to say anything straight away. ‘Is this why you came out here today? To tell me I’m an emotional cripple?’ he asked eventually.

‘Well, to see for myself that you were doing okay, mainly. And because I was kind of curious to see your dust bath of an office.’ Tristan gestured at the busy construction site behind him with his hand. ‘I like what you’ve done with the place, by the way. That pile of dirt? Very House & Garden.’

‘Smart arse.’

Tristan slapped him on the arm. ‘I need to get going,’ he said as he started making his way back over to his car. ‘Client meeting at two thirty.’

‘That’s it?’ said Nick in disbelief as he kept pace beside him. ‘You really drove all the way over here to tell me …’ He raises his hands an shoulders in exasperation, ‘… What are you telling me exactly?’

Tristan opened the door of the convertible and turned his head as he dropped down into the driver’s seat. ‘Nick,’ he said as slammed the door shut and cranked the key over, ‘when the time comes, please trust yourself to do the right thing.’

And with that, he drove off, leaving Nick standing, perplexed, in a soft cloud of dust.

…………….

Jack dropped his wrist onto the drafting board and looked up from the drawing he was working on. Although he did all of his final plans on the computer he still preferred to use the old-school method of pen and paper to explore initial designs and ideas for his buildings. Not only did sketching help him to think more critically, it also made him feel … relaxed. With the project deadlines he had looming over the coming week, though, it was fair to say that having a clutch in his hand wasn’t helping the way it usually did. The price of success: more money coupled with a seemingly insurmountable mountain of work.

He rubbed a dark eyebrow with the back of his hand, stretched his arms up over his head, and looked at his watch.

3.00pm.

Shit, this day was dragging like a bitch. He’d spent all weekend in the office finalising the drawings for three of his other jobs and felt like he was living in the place. Jack flexed his fingers and glanced at over at Grace, who was smiling to herself as she worked at her computer. Whatever crap had been going on between her and Nick these past few weeks was obviously working itself out. He didn’t share his best friend’s sexual proclivities – couldn’t see the appeal of all that kinky shit he seemed to thrive on – but after fucking up with Grace so royally to start with, whatever the two of them were doing now seemed to be making her – and he hoped Nick – happy.

Jack looked away from Grace and gazed longingly at the bright sun on the other side of the studio windows. Man, he really needed to hit the climbing gym this evening, work off some of the stress that had been building up as a result of his ever-increasing workload. It was only a block up from the office and, normally, he went twice a week for a bouldering session with some other regulars. But for the past month his schedule had been completely hellish and everything, including his morning swim sessions, had gone out the window. Jack wasn’t the sort of person who liked sitting around indoors for too long, and the need to get out, to do something physical and relieve the tension inside of him was becoming a scratching ache. Tonight, he told himself firmly, he was going to have a blow out. He’d been putting in the hours, was nearly on top of things; he needed some down time.

Bzzz. Bzzz.

The sound of his mobile vibrating against the desk had Jack glancing over, reaching for it when he saw the name on the display.

‘Tess.’

‘Hey, Jack.’

‘What’s up?’ He looked at his watch again and frowned. ‘Shouldn’t you be at work?’ His twin had trained as a physiotherapist and – normally – it was next to impossible for her to make or receive calls during the day given how busy the practice she worked at was.

‘I am. I just ran outside for a minute to phone you.’

Jack took a swig from the coffee mug on his desk, grimacing when he realised that the liquid in it was stone cold. ‘Is everything okay?’

A hesitation.

‘Tess?’

‘Well, um, I was wondering if maybe we could have dinner tonight? I know you’re busy with work and everything but …’ There was a brief silence on the other end of the phone, the sound of Tess’s light breathing – as if she was bracing herself for what ever she was about to say next.

A feeling of unease stirred in Jack’s gut. ‘What’s wrong, Tess?’ he demanded.

‘It’s nothing urgent,’ she assured him, the words tumbling out in a hurry, as if she was trying to convince herself as much as him. ‘And I’d really rather not talk about it over the phone, if it’s all the same to you.’

‘Tess–’

‘Please, Jack. Can you make dinner? Are you free?’

Jack felt a stab of guilt at his twin’s words. ‘Of course I can, Tess,’ he assured her. ‘Look, I know things have been crazy lately but I always, always have time for you. You know that.’

‘I just don’t like to be a nuisance,’ she sighed. ‘It’s not like you haven’t had to deal with enough of my crap over the past few years.’

‘You are not a nuisance, Tess. A pain-in-the-arse twin sister, maybe. But never a nuisance. And I’m more than happy to deal with your crap. You’re my fucking family.’

He heard her laugh lightly, the sound soft like little bells.

‘Okay, then. I’m on a late shift today; I finish at seven forty-five – shall we meet at that Italian on Parchment Street? Say around eight thirty-ish?’

‘Tell you what. I’m going to run over to Peaks at six and do some bouldering with the guys for an hour or so. How ‘bout you meet me here at my office at eight and we can walk over together?’

‘‘Done.’ He could hear the relief in his sister’s voice. ‘See you tonight.’

‘Looking forward to it, Tessie.’

‘Love you, Jack.’

‘I love you, too.’

…………….

Title image: Historic drafting board via Wikimedia Commons

The post The Garden of Earthly Delights – an erotic tale (part nineteen) appeared first on Behind the Chintz Curtain.

EBOOKS

*The following books were listed as free at the time of this post’s publication. Please double-check that that’s still the case before you hit the download button.

The Lady Submits – Chloe Cox

• Kindle – Amazon.co.uk
• Kindle – Amazon.com

Loving the premise of this one. (The warning is more of an incitement to read, as far as I’m concerned!)

‘Sometimes a highborn Lady needs to be brought low…

It’s the decadent, raunchy holiday of Bacchanal, and the Lady Lucrezia Grimaldi cannot find a man to satisfy her. Worse, she’s been saddled with the brutish Carlo Castellan as her bodyguard for the last night of Bacchanal. There’s only one thing to do: escape to the fabled House of the Severille…

The imperious Lady Lucrezia expects to sate herself by dominating some poor house slave. What she gets instead is the harsh touch of a Severille Master who will stop at nothing to make the Lady submit. 

The Lady Submits is a 12,000 word erotic historical fantasy novelette featuring strong BDSM themes. If you don’t like bondage, leashes, public display and humiliation, or alpha male doms who brook no dissent, then this probably isn’t for you.’

Strangeville – Kenneth Tingle

• Kindle – Amazon.co.uk
• Kindle – Amazon.com

This one sounds extremely odd, but thoroughly intriguing.

‘Need a good laugh? Strangeville is a different kind of story that draws the reader in and keeps them wondering what will happen next. The story is a dark comedy about a suicidal young man named John Campbell who, after a failed suicide attempt, heads to Virginia to visit an aunt he hasn’t seen in ten years. But his rental car runs out of gas deep in the mountains. When he decides to walk in the middle of the night, he winds up in a town that is isolated from the rest of the world—Strangeville. Unable to leave, he meets an assortment of loveable oddball characters—the beautiful Delilah, Klemm Johnson, Clarissa Puddworthy, Biff Flannigan, Jeboriah Varmint, Cleetus McChoparooski, and others.

So if you want a different kind of reading experience, and you’re tired of the same old cookie-cutter writing, check out Strangeville . Readers love it!’

Covet (Vampire Erotic Theatre Romance Series #1) – Felicity Heaton

• ePub – Kobo 

This could go either way – really good, or really awful. The star rating on Kobo seems decent, though, so I’ve got my fingers crossed for the former. And who could possibly resist the idea of ‘vampire erotic theatre’?)

 ‘They’ve burned for each other for two years, the forbidden attraction between them growing each night. Now resisting the sinful desires of their hearts is becoming impossible.

Javier knows better than to succumb to his hunger for Lilah. The mortal female belongs to a powerful aristocrat patron of Vampirerotique, the theatre he runs with three other vampires. A single touch is all it would take to break the sacred law of his kind, sentencing himself to death, but his passion for her has become too fierce to ignore and he will risk everything to make Lilah his.

Lilah has fought her desire for Javier since arriving at his theatre as a servant but each glance he has stolen, his eyes promising pleasure that will satisfy her longing for him, has chipped away at her defences and she can no longer deny her need and her forbidden feelings for the powerful vampire male.

 When they find themselves alone in a private box during one of the erotic performances, will they surrender to their passion and live out their wildest fantasies in a night of wicked pleasure or will the threat of Lilah’s master keep them apart forever?’

TOYS

ohtique
Are offering up to 50% off selected items, including vibrators, dildos and plugs. Like the full feeling? They’ve reduced the Sportsheets Menage a Trois harness and dildo set from £49.99 to £35.99. A fan of stainless steel toys? The Metal Worx Luv Plug is a smidge under half-price at just £24.00.

Lovehoney
The Lovehoney crew are having a warehouse clearance sale and are offering up to 75% off selected toys and lingerie, including Soft Line Flower Girdle Garter Knickers (reduced from £14.99 to £9.00), the Rocks-Off Finger Tingles clitoral vibrator (reduced from £16.99 to £8.50), and the Jimmyjane Afterglow massage candle in Grapefruit (reduced from £19.99 to £15.00).

SexShop365
Are offering 5% off orders placed with them this week. Use the discount code ‘shiny5’ at checkout. More details here.

The post Freebies and discounts: vampire erotic theatre, stainless steel, wax, and ladies bought low appeared first on Behind the Chintz Curtain.

Madeline Sheehan’s Hell’s Horsemen. Joanna Wylde’s Reapers.

Kurt Sutter’s Sons of Anarchy.

Every so often, a genre will send me on a complete and utter bender. I find something that strikes a chord and that’s it; for as long as I can find the reading material (or in this case, the celluloid) to feed the addiction, I’m a total junkie.

A few weeks back, I bought Madeline Sheehan’s Undeniable, the first book in her series about a biker club known as Hell’s Horsemen. It was, loosely speaking, a romance, but a brutal one. There were a lot of things in it that morally and ethically I didn’t agree with (the treatment of the women, the sanctioning of criminal activity) but the bottom line? It was like my eyes were super-glued to the train-wrecking pages.

Murder? Check.
Extreme violence? Check.
Abuse? Check.
Completely dysfunctional relationships between the characters? Check.
A happy ending? Eh. Well, Eva and Deuce are still breathing at the close.

In short, I haven’t buried myself in a book the way I did with Undeniable for quite a long while. I liked that it wasn’t a conventional romance. That it didn’t colour inside the lines. That I was kind of disgusted with myself for cheering the bad guys. I went and downloaded the second instalment in the series, Unbeautifully (which turned out to be just as compelling), the second I’d finished reading. When I hit the end of that one, though, my genre thirst was in full swing, the need for more of the same clawing at me like a hungry crow. Cue online searches for decent comparable material. My next stop? Joanna Wylde’s Reaper’s Property. More tattooed bad guys on bikes doing, once again, not very nice things. While a lot softer and not quite as deep and textured as Madeline Sheehan’s two offerings, it did go some way to quenching the thirst.

Then the discovery to end all discoveries: Sons of Anarchy.

There’s no denying I’m more of a reader than a TV-watcher but, holy shit, I can’t seem to tear myself away from this thing. It’s everything that made the Hell’s Horsemen books so compelling and then some. Sons is far more stylish, the characters infinitely more engaging, the plot lines far wilder. (Given that the series began in 2008 and is five seasons deep already, I’d be very surprised if it didn’t have at least some influence on Madeline Sheehan’s series, which debuted in October last year). Aided and abetted by Netflix, which is loaded seasons-deep with the lure of episode cliff-hangers to battle against on a daily basis, I’ve been roaring through five-years’ worth of biker drama with barely a pause for breath. The last series I had this kind of obsession with? Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I can recall being heavily pregnant during a re-run season and telling my husband I couldn’t go into labour until after Tubula Rasa, the one in which Buffy and Spike finally hook up, aired. (Yeah, yeah. I know.) Let’s just say that if Sons of Anarchy had been on then, I suspect I would have been 10 months along.

I think what’s pulled me so deeply with this show is the strength of the leading characters. Gemma Teller (played brilliantly by Katey Sagal of Married … with Children fame) is one of the best anti-heroines I’ve come across in a long time and Jax, who plays her son, the perfect knife-edge balance of criminal, bad boy, and gentleman. That deliciously unholy mix of dirty hands and good heart. The cast of slightly eccentric supporting characters is no less engaging. Tig (who reminds me in a lot of ways of Mr Blonde from Reservoir Dogs), the corrupt and completely loveable Chief Unser … they all add to the unusual (and sometimes unsavoury) SOA flavour. It’s not as tightly plotted as, say, The Sopranos, but the rawness of the Sons of Anarchy draws like a magnet. Oh, and the music? Well, this girl’s a die-hard rock chick and there are some beautiful, beautiful originals and covers to go with the drama (see my title clip choice), although I wish the sound team would stop plaything thrashy rock whenever the Sons ride down the highway.

I will nearly always push a book over a TV programme. But I’m going to break my rule for Sons of Anarchy.

In the words of Neil Young: Hey hey, my my.

Need an MC fix? Pick your poison …

• Sons of Anarchy – Amazon.co.uk
• Sons of Anarchy – Amazon.com
• Undeniable – Amazon.co.uk
• Undeniable – Amazon.com
• Unbeautifully – Amazon.co.uk
• Unbeautifully – Amazon.com
• Reaper’s Property – Amazon.co.uk
• Reaper’s Property – Amazon.com

The post The Crow Flies Straight – A Sam Crow Love Affair appeared first on Behind the Chintz Curtain.

TOYS AND LINGERIE

Agent Provocateur
AP is one of my favourite, favourite under-thing brands but at full-price their stuff, while beautiful, is death on the old wallet. This is definitely the time to buy. These corset-style Ilya Big Briefs? Reduced from £110 to £55.  This Mercy Waspie? £185 to £95. These Syble tie-side knickers (similar to the ones I wore in my Sinful Sunday pic a while back)? Reduced to £35 from £65.

Coco de Mer
Is offering up to 50% off selected items, including lingerie, bondage/fetish wear and sex toys. There are some beautiful, beautiful items in this sale, including FYI’s Binding Briefs (£64.00), the Coco de Mer Jade Petite Rosebud Small Butt Plug (£60.00), the DL & Co Lady Rhubarb Ombre Collection Scented Candle (£32.00) and this beautiful Crystal Flogger from Bo’s Tit Bits (£98.00).

Figleaves
Loads and loads of sizes and styles to choose from in this one. The Midnight Grace underwired smoothing slip is now £32. £6.40 for a pair of Butterfly Blue flirty frill ruffle mesh shorts (very cute cut at the rear!) Elle MacPherson Intimates Desert Heat Torsolette? Reduced from £75 to £45.

EBOOKS

As ever, the following books were listed as free at the time of this post’s publication. Please double-check that that’s still the case before you hit the download button.

Secret Story Time: More Filthy Fantasies – Jason Jaxx

• Amazon.co.uk
• Amazon.com 

Threesomes, spanking and fantasy. Absolutely no idea what the writing is like in this one but the ratings seem to be positive.

‘A compilation of erotic tales, packed with sizzling, unrelenting, graphic action. Explicit erotica designed for providing pleasure featuring threesomes, spanking, fantasy, and enough hot sex to satisfy a variety of tastes.’

A Bit of Bite – Cynthia Eden

• Kobo ePub 

Paranormal romance rather than erotica but Cynthia Eden is a popular author so I suspect that the quality of the writing in this short (it’s 11,000 words long) will be half-way decent.

‘A killer is stalking the streets of Crossroads, Mississippi, and it’s up to Sheriff Ava Dushaine to stop him. But when suspicion falls on werewolf alpha Julian Kasey—Ava’s ex-lover and the man who still haunts her dreams—Ava knows that she’ll either have to prove his innocence…or watch the whole town go up in flames.’

The Business of Pleasure – Justine Elyot

• Amazon.co.uk
• Amazon.com 

I’ve read this one before and can thoroughly, thoroughly recommend it. The writing is excellent and the sexual encounters in it are hot, hot, hot. Make sure you have some, er, relief handy.

‘If one call could set you on a trail to the heart of your darkest fantasy, would you make it? Charlotte does, and her bold decision propels her into a world where no desire is too outrageous, decadent or extravagant to be satisfied, for a price. Her own fantasy life merges with reality when she is hired to work for the shadowy organisation she first encountered as a client. She organises an array of wild set pieces involving banquets, film productions, mansions full of pleasure slaves, as well as thoroughly researching those requests that chime with her own kinky tastes. Two men, one woman, and every sexual fantasy imaginable, these are the ingredients that make up the business of pleasure.’

Wishing you all a wonderful, sexy weekend.

Jane xxx

The post Freebies and discounts: half-price lingerie and The Business of Pleasure appeared first on Behind the Chintz Curtain.

[Magic blog time-lapse technology]

Couldn’t do it? Eh, don’t sweat it. Seems they’re in pretty short supply.

I am flat-chested. And when I say ‘flat chested’, I don’t mean small hillock, gala apple, or half an orange. I mean like a blackboard. Little House on the Prairie flat. As a teenager, it used to bother me a lot. All the girls around me wore bras, filled out their tops and generally had the whole womanly shape thing going on. Me? Let’s just say there wasn’t (and still isn’t) much between me and an ironing board.

These days I’m perfectly fine with my flatness but there’s no denying that, as a society, we’re pretty damn obsessed with breasts. And, as far as the media is concerned, if you’re not sporting a pair of perfectly-shaped D cups then you might as well pack up and go home. Much to my dismay, however, it seems that the big-breasted ideal has set up shop and commenced trading in a lot of romantic and erotic fiction, too.

Over the past few years, I’ve noticed more and more authors eschewing the cookie-cutter perfect body – and quite rightly! – in favour of heroines with more realistic body shapes and sizes but, invariably, they seem to draw the line at women with non-existent breasts. It’s okay to have relatable heroines with flaws, it seems, as long as you can make up for the latter with a great rack. In fact, I can only think of one book off the top of my head that specifically calls attention to the leading lady’s small boobs and that’s Rachel Gibson’s See Jane Score (incidentally, one of my favourite mainstream romances). Oh, and Beth from Cherise Sinclair’s Breaking Free (although she doesn’t seem to be quite as flat as Jane).

Interweb and Amazon searches for ‘heroines with small breasts’ aren’t particularly helpful in turning up ladies with more economical assets either, although this thread and this one have a good bash at it. I wonder, is a small chest really that difficult to write about? Are they that difficult to view as beautiful and sexual? Not always, it seems. Tamsin Flowers, God bless her, recently told me she was writing a short (not yet published) titled Cherries on Top which specifically focuses on an erotic encounter with a woman who is a little challenged in the chest department – and was even kind enough to send me a wee teaser:

‘They used to sing it to me in the schoolyard; you know, the old taunt, “Flat as a pancake with cherries on top!” Over and over again.  So I was flat chested?  So the fuck what!  And as for cherries on top? Some girls were lucky; I was looking down on two tiny nubs that were closer in size to a pair of red currants. I hated the other girls for it but at least back then I thought there was still a chance I might grow a pair. I would sit through lessons with my pencil case stuffed up my T-shirt, resting it on crossed arms and hoping it would somehow morph into an actual part of me.’

Tamsin, can I just say I can’t wait to read this rest of this. It gladdens my little heart that you’ve written it.

So ladies and gents: am I alone here? Do you want to read an erotica or romances that feature heroines who are a little lacking in the chest department? Have you read a good one that you could tell me about? Or is there, perhaps, another ‘non ideal’ body type or part that you’d like to see appearing more frequently in the books you read?

The post Flat-chested heroines appeared first on Behind the Chintz Curtain.