What we used:  Squeezer Teaser clover nipple clamps
From: Lovehoney
Price: £7.99
Material(s): metal (unspecified) and nylon

Intrigued by nipple clamps but not sure if they’re for you? Lizzie gives her opinion of You2Toys’ Squeezer Teaser clover clamps.

*This post is NSFW (not suitable for work) as it does contain an image of a bare breast and a nipple (shock horror). If you choose to read on, please take the time to peruse the Behind the Chintz Curtain disclaimer before doing so.

First thoughts …

Lizzie
I’m quite a fan of nipple clamps but I’ve always had a bit of a thing for the pleasure/pain dynamic, so I guess that shouldn’t be a surprise to me. However, this is the first set of Japanese clovers or ‘butterfly’ clamps that I’ve tried – previously, Thomas and I have stuck with the tweezer design – and I’m dying to see if I can handle them because, from an intensity perspective, they’re pretty near the top of the tree when it comes to pressure. Just how intense will they be? Will they be too much? Will I back out?

The packaging …

Lizzie
Ye gads. This is tacky sex toy packaging at its best. A woman sitting on the bonnet of what I can only assume is a police car and wearing nothing but a fake policeman’s hat and the Squeezer Teaser clamps on her extremely large nipples. Oh, and sporting the obligatory heavily deforested pubic area. The bit that has me in stitches, though? The hilarious ‘crime tape’ graphic emblazoned across the lower half of her body with the words ‘excitement area’.

Thomas is as amused by the packaging as I am and once he stops chuckling and reading out the snippets of German text on the cardboard panel in an appalling accent, helpfully points at that the busty model is in fact wearing the nipple clamps she’s advertising incorrectly. Clearly, showing the product in the position it’s actually supposed to be used in is secondary to a good shot of breasts and landscaped bikini hair.

The clamps themselves are contained inside two plastic bubbles, which are stuck with adhesive to the entertaining graphic. There are no instructions to speak of (somewhat worrying given that the only ‘guide to use’ happens to be wearing the clamps in the wrong place), just the following amusing extract translated into multiple languages:

 

‘A horny sight, exciting to wear! Shapely nipple clips made of metal with nubbed rubber pads, ensuring a secure hold even when attaching heavy weights to the nylon straps (13cm each).’

 

No expense spared on the copywriter, obviously.

This packaging is cheap as chips and undoubtedly designed to appeal (visually) to men more than women, so if you are buying these as a gift for a female partner I would suggest that you release them from their porn prison and wrap them in something a little nicer before giving them to her. Unless of course she is amused by – or enjoys – tacky images (as I do) and you both fancy a good laugh.

The construction …

Lizzie
The clamps are actually a lot larger in size than I was expecting and, as mentioned in the on-packaging description, have short lengths of nylon attached to them. My Salter kitchen scales tell me that they weigh approximately 16 grams each, which doesn’t sound like much but when you think about that weight on the end of an incredibly compressed nipple and potentially swaying around with body movement, it starts to take on some significance. They’re not small and dainty, put it that way. Each clamp pincer (the bit that actually grips) is fitted with a small, textured rubber pad to prevent slippage and stop the skin of the nipple from being damaged when compressed. To open a clamp, i.e. make the sprung pincer arms move apart, you squeeze the body of it with your thumb and forefinger. To close the pincer arms and bring the pincer arms back together, you simply relax your fingers’ grip.

I have to say, the nylon loops included on the clovers, which allow you add weights and thus increase the pain factor, are pretty uninspiring and don’t look particularly attractive, but they are removable and Thomas and I came up with a way of making the Squeezer Teasers easier on the eye – more on that later.

One word of caution: it’s impossible to tell what metal(s) the Squeezer Teaser clamps are actually constructed from as the packaging doesn’t say, so if you have skin that reacts to anything other than stainless steel, gold, or silver, you might want to opt for a different brand that clearly states which materials have been used.

Putting them on …

Lizzie
I was in a complete lather of anticipation about these nipple clamps. On one hand, I was excited – I really like it when pain and pleasure start to get all tangled together. On the other, I do have my limits and I wasn’t sure whether clover clamps would be a bridge too far for me. Because Thomas knew I was in a dither, he spent a considerable amount of time warming me up before applying them – the clamps need to be applied to erect flesh – and I cannot stress how important that preparation was. Not only do you need the nipples to be stiff for the clamps to work properly, there’s also quite a difference between ‘normal’ (as in stub-your-toe-on-a-brick) pain and erotic (mark-my-bottom-with-a-crop) pain. For me, and I suspect others who enjoy the latter type of stimulation, there has to be a careful, measured and considered balance. Clamping an un-erect nipple with no foreplay? No, no, no.

Thomas applied the first clamp relatively slowly. He removed his mouth from my nipple, and placed the open pincers around it close to the areola. Crucially, he didn’t just release his fingers from the clamp at this point; he gradually eased off his grip so that it tightened incrementally and he could watch my response to see if the pressure became too much.

It didn’t.

Wow. I would be totally, totally lying if I said that the sensation generated by the clamp wasn’t intense – and painful. It was. But in the best, best way. Did I make a noise when he finally let go and let me experience it full force? Uh, yes. There was a decided whimper. In fact, I was so distracted concentrating on the ache generated by the clover that I momentarily forgot there was another one to go on. My forgetfulness didn’t last long, though, let me tell you. I was sharply reminded when Thomas repeated the above procedure and attached the second clamp to my left nipple a very short time later.

It took some deep breathing to acclimatise to having both clamps on but after a few seconds, the initial intense pain transitioned to more of a deep throb and a vague numbness – feelings that stayed with me the entire time I was wearing them. Although leaning forwards, which caused gravity to pull the clamps downwards, and light tugs on the clamps by Thomas, certainly refreshed the pain quota. Leaning forwards whilst moving/swaying and having them pulled? Blissfully torturous.

The first time we tried them we left the clamps on for approximately fifteen minutes, although I should point out that this length of ‘wear’ time was determined by us and based on our previous experiences with clamps, my pain tolerance levels, etc. When the clamps came off? Dear God. The sensation generated by blood rushing back into starved vessels left the pain generated by the initial clamping in the dust. Far, far more intense than anything I have experienced with tweezer clamps and, accordingly, much, much better. (We have always found judging the correct pressure with tweezer clamps to be quite tricky and have had some issues with tightening ‘sleeves’ catching in the wrong position, so getting a lovely blood rush of any significance consistently has previously been a bit of a challenge.)

Immediately after being released, my nipples were extremely sensitive, so Thomas was very, very gentle in his contact with them. I think I would have leapt about a foot off the ground if he’d done anything rough at that point. In fact, I had some degree of sensitivity for nearly two days afterwards. (For the first twenty-four hours even contact with the fabric of my bra was enough to make me stand at attention.)

Since our initial run with the Squeezer Teasers, Thomas and I have had a lot of fun with them and they’ve fast become one of my favourite items in our toy box. Now that he knows I can cope with them, Thomas varies the speed of his clamping and plays with the pain levels the clovers generate by moving them around or using other toys on or near them (crops, vibrators, etc.) They’re pretty cheaply made, so I doubt they’ll last forever, but I can categorically say I’ve had more than £7.99’s worth of pleasure out of them already. Oh, and as I mentioned earlier, neither Thomas nor I liked the nylon cords that came with the clamps, so we replaced these with purple ribbons to make them more aesthetically pleasing – and here’s the result:

The verdict?

Lizzie
Beautiful torture.

If you enjoy erotic pain, these clovers are absolutely brilliant, although I would definitely recommend them to those who have some previous experience with clamps; the sensation they generate is quite intense. I tried to put them on Thomas so that he could see what they felt like and he totally wimped out before they were fully attached. Pain is not his thing and to him, they just hurt. We’re all wired differently. In addition, as clamps effectively cut off the blood supply, it is not safe to leave them on for extended periods of time. In short, you shouldn’t use Squeezer Teasers (or any other type of clamp) without first doing a bit of safety reading. Google is your friend. The idea is pleasure – not tissue damage or accidental removal of body parts.

In summary

Things I liked:

• The sensation. Wonderful level of sensual pain.
• Ease of use. Simple to apply and remove – far less fiddling than tweezer clamps.
• The price. Cheap and cheerful. Likely won’t stand the test of time but at £7.99, they don’t really need to.
• Sensitised nipples. Even after the clamps come off, the effects linger!

Things I wasn’t so keen on:

• The packaging. For comic value? Brilliant. For eroticism? Dismal fail.
• The nylon weight ties. Cheap and ugly – but can be replaced with something nicer.
• Lack of linking chain. Most nipple clamps come with a linking chain and these don’t. But for the price, that’s a very minor quibble.
• Lack of adjustability. This isn’t a negative if you like your pain on the more concentrated side as I do, but if you’re new to clamping or can’t handle a load of pressure in one go, a pair of screw-headed clamps would probably be better as an intermediary step.

Tickle your fancy? You can buy this item from Lovehoney.

Not quite what you’re looking for? Want to clamp more than just nipples? Check out Lizzie and Thomas’s Mawa clamp review.

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